Seniorius Lurkius.

Right, so, where should I start?

I'm probably too young to be able to appreciate Buffy properly when the first season aired. There were some issues in the country, yada yada, the place stabilised again and my life went on as before, wherein I tried my best to be a good kid and followed the expected path and certainly didn't spend too much time watching television. A couple of family tragedies later, I was already an avid reader of fanfiction and I stumbled upon the fandom recently. Can't even recall how I tripped into BtVS, other than how it's probably from a writer in one of the other fandoms I followed that also happened to write in BtVS.

I got sucked into the trainwreck that was the canon Buffy-Spike, or even just Buffy's later-seasons character development--I went straight into WTF mode as my brain shuts down in disbelief. Next, came the denial, and much banging of head against desks and walls. After that comes acceptance and coping, in the form of me binge-reading many, many fanfics. I even used the Internet Wayback Machine to check out the fanfics uploaded to now-defunct sites. I was that serious in finding alternative narratives to canon. It was all in the name of constructing elaborate sets of head canons as I reject the current reality and substitute my own. 

Of course, you know what happens when you follow characters intensely and read up stories about them. They came alive and they live in your head. They make snarky comments about your daily choices, and their daydream bleed into yours. That's when you realise that the only way to exorcise them is by writing stories of your own, come hell or high water.

Twenty chapters later, you ask yourself the question 'what the hell am I doing?' and you have no answer but to keep writing.

To tell you the truth, I don't know what I'm doing here either, beyond faithfully following my favourite writers. I've realised several stories ago (in some other fandom as well as some original short stories) that I suck at writing in the romance genre proper. I keep wanting to expand the world and see other people. So for anyone looking for a writer of a straightforward Buffy-Spike story, I'm afraid that's not me. I'm more of an adventure story writer.

Heck, even my first story in this fandom starts out with an OC perspective. Yeah, I know. Weird.