Ratings I'll beta: •G •PG •PG-13 •R •NC-17 •Adult Only
I can help beta read: •American English •British English •Canon Elements •Grammar •Punctuation
Turnaround for an average length chapter: 4-7 days
Experience: I have zero beta experience! I'm a noob-beta! Yeah, you
know you wanna pop ma cherry.
I can usually read between 10,000 to 30,000 words of Spuffy A DAY, and I can distinguish
your shit from
you're shit . Reading things like "I'd rather have a railroad spike through my head
then listen to that awful stuff" makes me scream internally, so leave it to me to spot those pesky little errors, kay?
I'm a Word-gal, but I'll go to the dark side and use Google Docs if I
must . No, I love Docs, really.
Let me know what you'd like me to check - grammar, spelling, plot, characters, voices, clarity, readability, flow etc. I don't want to over-check! (Is that even a thing?) Also please tell me how I should give feedback - should I edit, suggest, comment, email?
I'll always try to give positive or constructive feedback 'cause these stories are like your babies or pets or something, so I'll be like your nurturing baby/pet-sitter!
I work six days a week and have a young child, so if something comes up that might create a delay, I'll try to let you know ASAP.
Story types/topics I will not beta or sensitivity read: I'll read almost anything, but please, don't scar my poor, imaginative beta brain. I don't wanna read unnecessary, gratuitous violence, torture or rape scenes if it's not essential to the story or character development. I remember that shit and DREAM about it.
I'm mostly here for the smut, so bring on the pw/p or pw/op, BDSM, erotica, whatever!
My pet peeves with this are people saying things like, "his cock hit the back of her
womb ." Yeah, that ruins the moment. Female Anatomy 101; your womb is your uterus (where a baby grows) and if there's a cock up that far, it is not only
ridiculous , it's just.. just
painful , and oh so unsexy. Also, I hate the word "
cunny ." (
Bleaagh! ) If you like it, it's
fine , I
guess . Other over-used phrases for this genre: "in a timeless rhythm," "member," and "denim-clad length."
I love All Human and AU. You take those characters and fly, girl! Kid fics are fine, but no abuse or sexual stuff, please. I'm okay with underage sex to maybe 16.
Not a fan of first-person fics. I have only read maybe 2 stories that have been written well in the first person.
Oh! No incest either, please. Please don't sully my heroes. Not a fan of threesomes, but if the dynamic is right, it can be hot.
Additional Comments: I was born in London, but grew up in Australia and live in Japan. I regularly check students' work for spelling, grammar and flow. I speak Australian English which is like a hybrid of American and British English. A lot of Australian culture is just diluted British culture, so I mostly get all of the references Giles and Spike use. (I eat Weet-bix, and put Vegemite on my crumpets, not Weetabix and Marmite!) I grew up with American movies and British TV shows, so I'm pretty familiar with both. I'm not British and don't live there though, so I can't Brit-pick! I also know nothing about the school systems in the USA or UK. What is a sophomore? What is sixth form? I do not know.that . If you come to Japan, I'll be your Spuffy friend tour guide. One day I'm so going to write a wildly unpopular All Human fic where Spike and Buffy are learning karate in Japan and go to a maid cafe or a love hotel and there's one-way glass in the shower. (Sigh ) Or not...
