Okay, I can’t believe this fic doesn’t already exist, but I can’t find it, so here goes. (Also I apologize cause this went a little off the rails.)

Buffy gets sent back in time for whatever reason, meets up with Spike’s human self, yadda yadda yadda. They have sex, she comes back to the future, some time goes on and whoops, wouldn’t you know it, she’s up the duff.

Preferences!

- Set in season 6, sometime after they start boning, so this isn’t Buffy’s first time having sex with Spike. (Could also be set in season 7, or an alt-season 4 or 5 where they have already hooked up. But no jailbait/teen-mom!Buffy, please!)

- This isn’t the plan: Buffy isn’t going back in time with the goal to sex up William. Meeting him at all is an accident (if the time travel was even planned), and the sex happens organically by circumstances.

- This does NOT change Spike’s timeline in any way other than he doesn’t die a virgin. Everything else stays the same— Cecily rejects him, Dru turns him, he doesn’t spend the next 100 years pining for Buffy, etc etc etc. And in that vein:

- Spike doesn’t know it was Buffy. Memory spell, alcohol, masquerade, or just the passage of time, whatever, the choice is yours, but he doesn’t meet Buffy and peg her as the girl who took his virginity. And he hasn’t figured it out since either. No inklings allowed.

- It doesn’t even occur to Buffy at the time that she would need birth control with human William, since she never needs it with vampire Spike. (And William is too naïve to know what birth control is, lol!) Maybe someone else she confides in (Tara?) even has to suggest the possibility that she could be pregnant.

- Spike doesn’t figure out Buffy is pregnant before she does. None of this vampire pregnancy-sniffing out super powers. Maybe he notices something is different, but doesn’t think she’s pregnant, due to a total lack of experience with pregnant women? Regardless, Buffy finds out the old fashioned way— peeing on a stick.

- Bonus points for the hilarious misunderstanding that Spike finds out B is pregnant and assumes she’s been shtupping someone else. More points if there’s a viable candidate available (after Riley comes back, she actually goes on a date with Richard, Robin Wood comes to town early, the choice is yours!) to assume this about.

- Minimal Scooby-bashing. They can be jerks about the situation, but they have to come around. (OR Buffy forms a new Scooby gang with Tara & Anya, I’m ok with that too.) Riley-bashing is fair game.

- Bonus points for an Angel crossover. Initial freakout, but then it’s all swapping baby tips and planning play dates with Connor?

- The baby canNOT be named any of the following things: Joyce, Kendra, William, Randy, Joan, Hope, Joy, Joyful, JoyAnne, Destiny, Heaven/Heavenly, Love, Peace, Mercy. Anne is acceptable as a middle name only, but variants are okay (Annabel(le), Anneliese, Anne-Marie, etc). Would love to see Buffy genuinely suggest Joan and it gets shot down immediately. Bonus points for a name they pick just cause they like it, no meaning. (Can I suggest Millicent? Seems like the sort of name Buffy would love.)

- Last name can be either Summers or Pratt or some combination of both. (Although having Buffy reject the patriarchy of her dad’s last name could be fun. In which case, an invented maiden name for Joyce or even “Giles” are also acceptable, although I think they’d just go “Pratt”.)

- Bonus points if Buffy researches Slayers who have been pregnant and finds out about Nikki.