Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None

1. First by Niamh - Likes: 32 Comments: 24 Word Count: 5,996 Hit Count: 4,341
[A/N: This story grew out of two things.  First is a comment from my friend Nina, who remarked to me one night that she wanted someone to write the story of how Spike felt and acknowledged Buffy’s death (and return) even years later.  The second is a bit more personal, and far too real for my own liking.  I nearly died on September 9, 2010 and went through the same exact experience again, on the 10th.  Either instance could have killed me, and it’s just by the grace of the universe that I am still here.  Being me, I rationalized it and compartmentalized it, and generally played it somewhat cavalierly until it hit me on the 22nd of September.  So, again Nina came to my rescue, and gave me a bit of advice on how to deal with the trauma – she told me to write.  Well, that’s what I do.  I write.  Since my favorite subjects are the super-duo, I’ve attempted another one-shot in the Originsverse.  This one is, in all likelihood, going to be a somewhat bumpy ride and it may take place over the course of several years.  But I know it has a happy ending.  Title is lifted directly from the quote, which was written by Rob Thomas for the Disney film Meet the Robinsons, and all belongs to someone other than me.  Although I think I would have treated them better.  This is also only partially edited by Spikeslovebite, and the rest is all my mistakes and errors.]

2. Chapter 2 by Niamh - Likes: 18 Comments: 15 Word Count: 4,818 Hit Count: 2,069 Published: July 01, 2015

3. Chapter 3 Unearned Guilt by Niamh - Likes: 16 Comments: 13 Word Count: 3,041 Hit Count: 1,177 Published: August 12, 2018

I know, it's been forever.  I think, though that it'll probably be not quite so long between things.  At least that's what I'm hoping.  My thanks to the three ladies who kindly acted as betas for this chapter:  Jeleyne, who's been keeping my muse warm, Michelle, who stepped in nicely, and Misenplace, who wonderfully rounds out the trio.  Without them, this would still be sitting on my thumb drive, without any hope of being posted.  So thank them.

4. Chapter 4 Interesting things to do . . . by Niamh - Likes: 15 Comments: 13 Word Count: 2,977 Hit Count: 1,193 Published: September 30, 2018

5. Chapter 5 by Niamh - Likes: 7 Comments: 4 Word Count: 3,928 Hit Count: 897 Published: May 10, 2020

Nope, all reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.  And I know, believe me, I know how seriously long it has been since I posted something.  But this quarantine has been good for one thing, and I managed to get this story nearly finished.  Thanks to my betas, Jeleyne (who likes to be all mysterious and anonymous) and stalwartsandall, who stepped in just recently.  Any mistakes or issues are mine alone, because I don't always listen when I'm supposed to (or like ever, according to some people ).  Please enjoy.  And I won't be upset if you have to start the whole 'verse over again -- just be kind if you leave a review.  Some of this stuff is over 15 years old. 

6. Chapter 6 by Niamh - Likes: 10 Comments: 10 Word Count: 3,654 Hit Count: 812 Published: May 24, 2020

7. Chapter 7 by Niamh - Likes: 7 Comments: 8 Word Count: 3,398 Hit Count: 739 Published: June 14, 2020

8. Chapter 8 by Niamh - Likes: 8 Comments: 5 Word Count: 3,187 Hit Count: 692 Published: June 28, 2020

9. Chapter 9 by Niamh - Likes: 11 Comments: 11 Word Count: 3,210 Hit Count: 722 Published: July 12, 2020

So. .  . thanks go to my beta, because without her input this would be a mess.  I haven't caught up on the reviews, yet, because of issues -- been working from home since March, and got ordered back to work, which, okay.  However, I have such severe allergies (to cleaning supplies among other things) that my first day back in the office only lasted 2 hours and 30 minutes.  Ten hours in the ER, and I'm done for.  Brain is fogged, so if you catch any errors, it's because I fiddled with this post-editing and my brain was mush, so it may or may not make sense.  I don't even really know if the quotes work either.  Hopefully this is in sequence, and makes sense.  Thanks for your patience and understanding.  

10. Chapter 10 by Niamh - Likes: 5 Comments: 6 Word Count: 4,045 Hit Count: 526 Published: August 23, 2021

I'm so sorry about the delay.  Blame depression, life change (retirement), RL challenges, and lastly, an accident in March that has me still mostly immobile, concussion, and fractures still healing.  Thank you for being patient, and for the kind words that have come my way. Bear with me while I finish this, and the other story I have brewing.  Might even see something new from me. . . depends on how I feel, and how my head holds up.  There's also no guarantee when I'll be able to post again, since writing poses something of a challenge, but I will try to have more soon.  Thanks for your patience.

11. Chapter 11 by Niamh - Likes: 8 Comments: 8 Word Count: 3,886 Hit Count: 541 Published: September 21, 2021

Meant to post this yesterday, but health issues precluded that, so I'm posting today, early, before the migraine gets worse.  Thank you to everyone who left a review on the last chapter, and I should be answering them in the next day or so.  Also, thanks to Jeleyne, who edited this.  Almost done, here, and I will update (health depending) next week.  Thank you again.