Penname: Herself
Real Name:
Pronouns:
Location:
Member Since: September 16, 2013
Last Active: April 16, 2024
Membership Status: Member
Skin: not-without-a-fight
Author
All my fanfic is here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herself_nyc/works
  Stories (31)    Series (3)    Comments (1)    Statistics  
 
 
Summary: "Something's gone wonky, yeah, an' you're not in 1997 anymore, Buffy. This is your future. These children, they're yours. Ours."
A tale set in the Bittersweet-verse, post Mrs Grieves & The Abandoned Husband.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Time Travel, Season 2, Post-Series, Alternate Reality
Characters: Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Dawn, Giles, Spike, Willow, Xander
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 20,735 Hit Count: 3,523 ePub Downloads: 158
Published: September 19, 2013 Updated: September 19, 2013
Summary: "Ought to know better than to get between a man and his booze," he said. The rage was so hot in her she only wanted to scream at him, to scream and scream. "You're not a man—!" She stopped. Because the hell of it ... he was. Novella-length story, with spoilers for all of BtVS and AtS, complete in two parts. Winner, Judge's Choice, in Round 2 'Soulless Spike' of Raison D'Etre Awards, Summer '05. Winner, Best Buffy Characterization, Best Angst, in Round 12 of the Love's Last Glimpse Awards, Dec '05. (Completed June 2005)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Attempted Suicide, Human!Spike, Infertility Issues/Miscarriage, Mental Health Issues, Sexual Situations, Substance Use/Addiction, Suicidal Ideation, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Word count: 74,488 Hit Count: 9,434 ePub Downloads: 537
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Summary: The stake slipped from her fingers, and she had to take a deep breath to stave off the dizziness descending on her like a hood over her head. "You—I thought you were dead." A reunion in New York City. Set post-NFA, spoilers for all of BtVS and AtS. (Completed August 2005)
Winner for Best PWP, runner up for Best Future Fic at Love's Last Glimpse Awards Round 18.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners, Award Runners-Up
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Blood Play, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 9,901 Hit Count: 5,637 ePub Downloads: 299
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Summary: This is a little sequel to "The Littler Bit." Very little happens in it. (Completed August 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6, Baby/Kid Fic
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,165 Hit Count: 2,038 ePub Downloads: 121
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: She can't go on, she'll go on. Spike and Buffy meet again, post Wrecked. (Completed December 2001)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,126 Hit Count: 3,940 ePub Downloads: 202
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: Spike has amnesia. Buffy learns he doesn't need to remember her to know her. Set in season 6, roughly after the third or fourth time Buffy sleeps with Spike. Dark. (Completed December 2007)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Alternate Reality, Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,505 Hit Count: 2,689 ePub Downloads: 99
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Summary: Magic wasn't through with her yet. Spoilers through Season 7. Winner, "Best Long Story" in the Love's Last Glimpse Awards, "Best Long Fiction" in Round 9 Judge's Choice in the Spuffy Awards. (Completed June 2003)
Winner for Best Buffy Characterization (Judges' Choice),Best General Long Fiction (Readers' Choice) at the Spuffy Awards Round 3.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Disenchantment
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 25,260 Hit Count: 3,353 ePub Downloads: 282
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Summary: When Buffy goes to the aid of an amnesiac Spike after the L.A. apocalypse, they both find out what lies at the core of their mutual attraction. Can their new love survive the return of Spike's real memories of all that's gone before? (Completed April 2008)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Award Winners, Post-Series
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Blood Play, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 62 Table of Contents
Word count: 131,551 Hit Count: 64,490 ePub Downloads: 625
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Summary: "You can't pretend you were in love with me back when . . . when you were trying to kill me." A PWP set, perhaps, some time after Lovingkindness. Earlier version published on Livejournal. (Completed November 2003).
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: What She Deserves
Categories: Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Porn w/ Plot, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 2,606 Hit Count: 2,273 ePub Downloads: 156
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Summary: Will he? Will she? There's plenty to forgive on both sides. (Completed January 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Abuse, Adult Language, Blood Play, Mental Health Issues, Rape (Actual), Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 16,652 Hit Count: 2,620 ePub Downloads: 169
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: "All this time, they thought I loved them, the way they love me. But I can't love." (Completed August 2003)
Winner for Best General Angst (Readers' Choice), Best General Long Fiction (Judges' Choice) at the Spuffy Awards Round 4. Winner, Round 9 Judges' Picks, Spuffy Awards.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Alternate Reality, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 49,494 Hit Count: 2,035 ePub Downloads: 175
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: It got her hot. It got her boiling, the soulless killer's coat. Spoilers through "Get It Done" in Season 7. (Completed February 2003).
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Season 7
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 16,199 Hit Count: 1,567 ePub Downloads: 116
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Summary: She'd gone far far away from Sunnydale. From herself. Her name. Her calling. She didn't want any contact with the old life. Much less him. That pain-in-the-ass vampire. "Spike." She punched at the eyes floating before her; but he ducked and she pitched forward. He caught her before she fell face down in the filth. "What is this?" She wrenched herself free. "Since when do you help?" Set immediately post season 2. (Completed June 2007)
Winner for Best WIP, Best Buffy Characterization at Love's Last Glimpse Round 20.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Season 2, Alternate Reality, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 58,208 Hit Count: 5,504 ePub Downloads: 512
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Summary: A porny outtake from Disenchantment.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Disenchantment
Categories: Post-Series
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Porn w/ Plot, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 1,072 Hit Count: 1,489 ePub Downloads: 83
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Summary: Buffy really gets the blues. (It's a good idea to have read "Manhattan Nocturne" before turning to this one.) (Completed late December/early January 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 3,444 Hit Count: 1,685 ePub Downloads: 141
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: "Their stares penetrated Spike the way he'd penetrated them, and sucked him nearly as dry." A sequel to What She Deserves. After his reunion with Buffy in NYC, Spike returns to Sunnydale to find that things between them aren't quite what he'd supposed. Spoilers only through s6. (Completed November 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: What She Deserves
Categories: Alternate Reality, Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 54,257 Hit Count: 2,278 ePub Downloads: 292
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Summary: Buffy finds herself in 19th century London, and meets someone she thinks she knows. (Completed April 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike, William
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 20,730 Hit Count: 2,075 ePub Downloads: 177
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: Spike gripped his wrist tighter. "You're tragic, you are. No—no, not even tragic. Not good enough to be tragic." (Completed November 2003)
Judge's Choice Winner at Love's Last Glimpse Round 20.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Alternate Reality, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike, William
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: None
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 38,991 Hit Count: 1,945 ePub Downloads: 207
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: Ten minutes in bed with Spike and Buffy. (Completed late December, 2001)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 1,493 Hit Count: 2,594 ePub Downloads: 145
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: Soon after her resurrection, Buffy gets turned. Spike tries to help her adjust. (Completed April 1, 2009)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Award Winners, Season 6, Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Vampire!Buffy
Completed: Yes Chapters: 16 Table of Contents
Word count: 24,819 Hit Count: 15,717 ePub Downloads: 227
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Summary: As Spike goes after that dragon, he finds himself instead where he least expected. Written for the seasonal_spuffy community on Livejournal. Spoilers for all of BtVS and Angel, and for The Bittersweets stories through All Merry & Bright. Winner, Best Long Story, Best Spike Characterization, Love's Last Glimpse awards, March '07. (Completed March 2006)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Award Winners, Post-Series, Crossover (AtS), Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 22,286 Hit Count: 2,407 ePub Downloads: 150
Published: September 24, 2013 Updated: September 24, 2013
Summary: Far-future sequel to The Approved Mode of Payback and Blue-Eyed Boy  (mod note: both are Spander fics) but may be read as a stand-alone. "She was the same age as Xander, who had cleared ninety, and yet she was still twenty-odd. Came back wrong." References to past Spike/Xander, Buffy/Angel. (Completed May 2006)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Post-Series
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,376 Hit Count: 869 ePub Downloads: 50
Published: September 24, 2013 Updated: September 24, 2013
Summary: "That vamp in the bathroom?" Buffy says. "She was with you?" What happens when worlds collide. Set post-NFA, spoilers for all of BtVS and AtS. (Completed December 2005)
Winner for Best Spike Characterization (Judges' Choice), Best General Romance (Judges' Choice) at the Spuffy Awards Round 10.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Word count: 23,157 Hit Count: 4,913 ePub Downloads: 214
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Summary: Because nothing is pure black and white... (Completed March/April 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 14,404 Hit Count: 1,829 ePub Downloads: 151
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: Tuberculosis, gonorrhea, and unpleasant revelations aren't the only things Buffy brings back with her from her sojourn in London, 1880. (Completed May 2002) 
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Baby/Kid Fic, Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Word count: 32,594 Hit Count: 4,641 ePub Downloads: 189
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: "This is something new," she said. "Be quiet and find out what it is." On a solo cross-country road trip, Buffy regains her own equilibrium, and finds that everything is different when she encounters Spike in NYC. Spoilers only through season 6. Immortal Moonlight Nominee. Winner, "Best Long Story" in the Watching You Awards 2002, Co-Winner of Best Long Story in the January 2003 Halo awards. (Completed August 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: What She Deserves
Categories: Award Winners, Season 6, Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 30,821 Hit Count: 2,670 ePub Downloads: 278
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Summary: Buffy, Spike, and that old black magic . . . (Completed February 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 30,460 Hit Count: 2,349 ePub Downloads: 185
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: "There are things everywhere that'll break your heart. Just break it. Fortunately, you can live a big big life, even with a broken heart." A novel-length story, complete in 10 parts, in The Bittersweets series, set twenty-one years after the events of Mrs Grieves & The Abandoned Husband. (Completed August 2004)
Runner up for Best Long Story at Love's Last Glimpse Awards 2005.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Alternate Reality, Award Runners-Up
Characters: Angel, Buffy, Original Characters, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Blood Play, Buffy/Other (Temp), Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp), Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Word count: 186,127 Hit Count: 8,719 ePub Downloads: 236
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: Buffy's pretty sure she doesn't know. Spike hopes she'll figure it out. (Completed January 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 8,261 Hit Count: 1,951 ePub Downloads: 156
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Summary: "Spike, when we were under that spell . . . we were both pretty silly, weren't we? But I felt things . . . " A sequel to First Time. Spoilers only through season 6. (Completed December 2003)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: What She Deserves
Categories: Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: None
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 1,925 Hit Count: 2,061 ePub Downloads: 132
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013