Penname: Buffybot_dreamer
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Member Since: December 19, 2017
Last Active: May 01, 2021
Membership Status: Member
Skin: smile
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Summary: Set in Victorian London. Elizabeth Summers has been the slayer for five years. Her watcher, Sir Wyndam, has been making her life as miserable as possible. Then she meets William Pratt and things change.
Categories: Pre-Series, Alternate Reality, Historical
Characters: Angelus, Buffy, Darla, Drusilla, Original Characters, Spike, The Master, William
Genres: Drama, Historical, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Violence
Completed: No Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Word count: 28,138 Hit Count: 4,858 ePub Downloads: 44
Published: May 10, 2018 Updated: December 13, 2018
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Chapter 1 on October 14, 2020 Liked

Oh, please please do update this brilliant and gorgeous fic soon! This version of William is perfect and I've loved every single chapter so far, this is so beautifully written and laid out, the dialogue, pov's and characterisations are so excellent, I can picture every scene and I'm loving every minute of it!! I know this was last updated in 2018 but I hope the author continues with this fantastic story. Can't wait to read more!! heartheartcheers*Keeps fingers crossed*

Summary: Daily Spuffy in five(fty) words or less, opening around S5E4 and continuing through the end of the show (and now beyond!).
Created for the inktober art challenge 2018 - here's the prompt list and my episode plan: 
http://nootloot.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/2018-10-31-08.14.25-3.jpg
 First attempt at fiction, so take it or leave it :)
Series: Inkverse
Categories: Season 5, Season 6, Season 7, Drabbles
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: POV
Warnings: Adult Language, Attempted Rape, Character Death, Sexual Situations, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 33 Table of Contents
Word count: 3,335 Hit Count: 10,300 ePub Downloads: 40
Published: October 03, 2018 Updated: November 01, 2018
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Poisonous on December 12, 2018

That was achingly beautiful - the art was gorgeous and the poetry was so moving and captured each stage of Spuffy as it evolved heartsbravoYou also really caught physical likenesses to Spike/Buffy / how they looked in those scenes! At the same time, there's a certain je ne sais quoi /mystery to each moment of their romantic journey that you brought out beautifully - you even captured the expressions on their faces! I love the emotions and feels going through Spike's POV here (so accurately portrayed)...This is seriously beautiful art, thank you thank you thank you. It's something I will always savourheart cheers

Author's Response on December 15, 2018 09:39pm

Thank you! So glad to know you enjoyed them so much, it just makes all warm 💙 And inspired!  😀

It's such an emotional journey, I just did my best to try and capture some of the tiny moments so beautifully portrayed in show. And highlight things that stand to me.

Thank you thank you thank you! 💜

Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 32: Darkness on December 12, 2018

 "for (one glorious moment),

i held the sun in my palm

and it held me in return."

These lines are genius - the most fitting and poetic description of Chosen I've read to date.

 

Author's Response on December 15, 2018 09:42pm

Thank you! It's such a bittersweet end 😭

Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 24: Chop on December 12, 2018

I love your poetic mix of words-visuals paying tribute to this moment from Tabula Rasa, after Buffy realises she isn't Joan, when Spike offers his hand. It's given me a renewed appreciation for that moment, seeing her expression starkly captured here in black and white. Gorgeous. *S6 feels* 

Author's Response on December 15, 2018 09:44pm

Buffy got me with the feels on this one, just wanted to bundle her up safe and feed her chocolate :'( 

Thank you 💜

Summary: A sketchy Christmas in the Inkverse.
Be warned: this is a shamelessly sinful corruption of my favourite Christmas poem. I'll never hear it the same way again *blushes*
And there are pictures. If smutty art's not your thing, please run.

Series: Inkverse
Categories: Post-Series, Challenge Response, Poetry
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Established Relationship, Parody, Porn w/o Plot, POV
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Challenges: 2018 Holiday Challenge
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 523 Hit Count: 1,440 ePub Downloads: 46
Published: December 12, 2018 Updated: December 12, 2018
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Chapter 1 on October 26, 2020 Liked

It's like someone captured the essence of Spuffy ....all its wondrous, romantic, sensual, beautiful, loving tenderness... in a glorious perfume bottle which every time you opened you caught a whiff of its magical scent. THAT is what this exquisite work accomplishes. It's like a timeless bottle of perfume one can always re-visit to put oneself in a happy mood!

I passionately adore everything about it: every drawing, every expression, every hint of tenderness, every bit of its sexiness, every line of reworked poetry (so witty and also so SPIKE!) and every blissful image of these two (kudos on the incredible likenesses!) *Awestruck* as usual. I’m binging through all your masterworks, beware my stalker fandom status lol!

Author's Response on December 04, 2020 10:12pm

Aww, thank you so very much!

Every now and then I get super shy about this one and start thinking I never should have posted it and should take it down... but then I remember someone loves it and oh it completely changes my mindset around. I'm so glad you enjoyed, and your comment means everything. hearts

Thank you  💙

Summary: Solid Spuffy, fully canon compliant; these things are not antithetical in my brain. We all know that 'break up' was an act.
But as Joss said on writing S12, "And then they said, "You have four issues," and it was like "Ohhhh. That's all the time we have." So we dealt with a lot of things in small panels, and I don't know if I fit it all in..."
He didn't, but that's cool, because I've filled in the gaps for him ;)
Categories: Season 12 (Comic), Missing Scene, Time Travel
Characters: Andrew Wells, Angel, Buffy, Dawn, Faith Lehane, Fred, Giles, Illyria, Other, Spike, Willow, Xander
Genres: Action/Adventure, Established Relationship, HEA/HFN
Warnings: Adult Language, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Word count: 47,366 Hit Count: 4,365 ePub Downloads: 91
Published: August 20, 2019 Updated: August 29, 2019
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: PART 1: ONE YEAR LATER - #A on August 27, 2019

I am absolutely loving this fic, the premise, the writing, everything. I love how you captured the warmth and romance of the Spuffy hug here. Everyone's characterisations are spot on. This is going to make me love S12, no small feat! I love behind the scenes style fics set in the comic seasons too, so it's just what I needed. This is just beautiful heart

Author's Response on August 28, 2019 04:11pm

Squee! That hug is just perfect, they're so mutually and lovingly supporting each other 💙

I'm so happy to hear it's improved your S12 feelings :D I was so disappointed and angry with it on the page, I had to headcanon explanations for certain things before I could enjoy anything about it. Then I thought hey, I'm not the only one feeling this way, I ought to share my solution in case anyone else likes it ;)

Thank you so very much, and I hope you enjoy the rest 💙

Summary: A potentially horrifying story of lust, blood and hunger when the world turns inside out.
Set shortly before Buffy vs Dracula; Riley left town at the end of S4.
Categories: Season 4, Season 5
Characters: Anya, Buffy, Giles, Joyce, Spike, Tara, Willy the Snitch, Xander
Genres: Action/Adventure, HEA/HFN, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Road Trip
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 19 Table of Contents
Word count: 73,384 Hit Count: 25,319 ePub Downloads: 379
Published: October 01, 2019 Updated: November 09, 2019
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 19: Epilogue on October 26, 2020 Liked

This fic is magnificent. I plan to comment on each chapter within the next few day as I savour it because I loved so, so, so many things in each section heart (and it absolutely deserves to be savoured...)

 

But for now I just wanted to pop in here and say how spellbindingly beautiful every portion of this story is. Consistently so! It's consistently spellbinding. You are truly a gifted, genius writer. Loved every single thing about this - the characterisations, the pacing, the plotting, the prose, the emotion, the gorgeous worlds of romance and danger and LOVE and terror and so much glittering soul. I'm going to treat myself to a re-read very soon where I'll spell out all the things I loved. heartheart

Summary: When Buffy walks out of the police station in Dead Things she leaves Spike bruised and battered in the alley. But she wouldn't be Buffy if she wouldn't come back ... 
Categories: Season 6, Alternate Reality, Missing Scene
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama
Warnings: Adult Language
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,654 Hit Count: 813 ePub Downloads: 20
Published: October 26, 2019 Updated: October 27, 2019
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Chapter 1 on September 15, 2020 Liked

I just read this, and would like to say - what a lovely, mystical mood piece for Buffy and Spike. It's a very unusual and brilliant idea, thank you for this atmospheric and beautiful fic!! heart I *love* the idea of Future Buffy coming back to a wounded Spike. Future!Buffy is someone who has experienced love, loss and yearns for Spike. And you know what? You captured the way the way all the seeds for Future!Buffy lie in the Present-Day!Buffy, even if she denies it to herself. That hope is still there in the present. One of my favourite lines in this wonderful fic is this:

"You are asking me why I didn’t leave this plane for a brighter, shinier world, in the company of a beautiful woman who adores and - may I say it?  - loves me instead of languishing in a damp crypt, yearning for a daft bint who keeps our dirty little affair a secret and would never ever lower herself so far as to look at me with something else than disgust?" Buffy chewed on the inside of her cheek. "Yeah, I think that kinda sums it up. Why didn’t you?” His mocking tone was gone and he spoke softly now, "Because she isn’t you. And stupid as it might be, I am in love with you. Not her."

I love the way you conceptualised this - she is her, and yet she isn't her, not yet anyway - and Spike loves Buffy for exactly who she is, through all the different stages in their relationship. The hope and potential is there for both. I love this creative idea and I'm glad Spike got some solace with future Buffy. Very magical tale. heart Thank you so, so much!

Author's Response on September 20, 2020 12:21pm

Awww, this is an incredibly sweet and thoughtful and wonderful comment. You made me very happy with every single word. I am glad you enjoyed this story so much <3 Thank you!

Summary: Spike had this perfect memory of them together—her holding his hand, looking at him with tears in her eyes, telling him she loved him. If a man had to die, that was the way to do it. But in their world, the dead don’t stay dead.
A completely canon-compliant retelling of AtS Season 5, beginning with Harm’s Way.
Categories: Post-Series, Crossover (AtS), Canon-Compliant, Missing Scene
Characters: Andrew Wells, Angel, Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Fix-It, HEA/HFN, Prophecy, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 14 Table of Contents
Word count: 85,524 Hit Count: 20,860 ePub Downloads: 305
Published: July 20, 2020 Updated: October 19, 2020
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Chapter 1 on August 17, 2020 Liked

SQUEEE!! More deliciousness. This entire conversation felt so real, and so THEM, I could completely see it going down like that. WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME? I just can't get over how lump-in-the-throat romantic and adorable and angsty and REAL this all is. I love this fic sooo much hearts. I have to bow down to you, these are some of the most searching, heartfelt, believable, unbelievably tender yet sexy and funny and poignant and wrenching conversations ever. And it's just cruel to have that last tantalising tease about the "phone thing" at the end....  blow_kiss

Author's Response on August 24, 2020 02:03pm

Thank you so much. heart

I know I'm a tease but hopefully you all will forgive me. 

Buffybot_dreamer Replied on August 24, 2020 09:21pm

Oh, tease away!! I love the heartfelt conversations as much as the anticipation of the phone thing so it's delicious to read either way heart 

Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Chapter 1 on August 14, 2020 Liked

I'm just...

You are doing something I never thought possible - making AtS S5 make sense. Thank you for your sheer brilliance and talent.  heart

Awaiting the next chapter of this wonderful fic with bated breath... <3

Author's Response on August 17, 2020 12:16pm

Thank you! That's exactly what I set out to do with this fic. Make it make sense FOR ME. So glad it's working for others, too! heart

Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 5: Chapter 5 on August 20, 2020 Liked

This is going in my favourites even though it's not finished yet. I know how much I've loved each and every chapter. I've been re-reading it the past few days and it's so well characterised, swoonhugheart   I love how much I *love* Buffy and Spike both in this fic—such realistic yet loving depictions of both, bringing out the nuances of each character in a sensitive, fair, genuinely plausible and utterly romantic way, doing justice to both. Plus I'm in love with the amazing, amazing, amazing chemistry between them that is just sparking off their naturally flowing dialogue here... There's so much heart and emotion in this, I love how their insecurities are being brought out in the open and unravelled.  All the emotion is absolutely dreamy. I wish these were scenes we actually got to see onscreen! I can hardly wait for the next chapter!! What a fabulous canon compliant story *awestruck*

Author's Response on August 24, 2020 02:06pm

Thank you so much. 

I wanted this to be real more than anything -- to sound like them, arguments and insecurities and idiot!behavior -- so that it would neatly fold into my official mental canon for AtS S.5. And hearing that I've achieved that for others, at least in what's been shared so far, means everything to me. Thank you, and I hope the following chapters continue to ring true for you.

Buffybot_dreamer Replied on August 24, 2020 04:09pm

Oh I know it will!

If anything, I'm hesitant to even comment lest I interrupt your creative flow heart But I just had to rave about how much I'm loving it :))

Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 6: Chapter 6 on August 24, 2020 Liked

Another fabulous chapter! These two are so in love, plus this is going so well with the canon we saw. I can totally see this playing out behind the scenes as their authentic thoughts and reactions. I love their voices, also the glimpse of jealous Spike was ADORABLE! As adorable as jealous Buffy was earlier! ("He has an accent?" "I have an accent!") LOL!! Oh Spike... blow_kissAlso loved the self reflexive little nod to the fansites on Buffy-Angel and then Spike reminds himself, well, I've got the real thing heart 

 

Absolutely love how we got to see his overwrought, drained out state after Fred's tragedy melt away somewhat in the comfort of hearing her (Buffy's) voice... he needed that support, and i LOVE how you personalised it in a very 'true to his character' way that he'd be worried about Buffy too, want her safe. Mouthwatering chapter again which sets up so much, and terrific canon compliant explanation of the whole Immortal thing and the Rome stuff ahead. As always, cant wait for more. bow

Author's Response on August 31, 2020 11:21am

Hah, I might have been meta-inspired by SPN on the fansites, thing. But it's totally plausible! Dracula told Buffy that she was famous, and everyone famous has an internet presence whether they want one or not.

Thank you! heart

Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 13: Chapter 13 on October 19, 2020 Liked

What a gorgeous chapter *swoon* heartsI loved the evocative mirror-scene mentions!! I just have to rant about how gorgeously creative it was to use the mirror as both a metaphor for the evolution in their relationship as well as a sensual device to paint this cinematic scene.  Beautifully written, which is no surprise. Huge admiration for the way you weave together these stunning points of view. It makes me visualize Spike and Buffy like I'm watching them on a TV or movie screen rather than reading about them in a fic....it's so immersive and engulfing and beautiful and palpable, if that makes sense? This was incredibly romantic (and hot!) AND moving, which is an impressive combo to pull off all at once. I really feel the intense love and desire here. I've caught up with your newest chapters after a while - LOVED the Shanshu thing! Brilliantly plotted and thematically very satisfying. I love it. (I anyways happen to enjoy coming across depictions of Shanshu'd Spike, so this was doubly cool.) You are amazingly gifted heartheart Thank you for creating such wonderful worlds to bask in!

Author's Response on October 25, 2020 09:00pm

Oh, goodness! Thank you so much! blushheart

Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 14: Epilogue on October 19, 2020 Liked

Aww, wonderful epilogue!! Some really ADORABLE moments that made me grin like crazy! heart Thank you for this continuous stream of wonderfulness (it's provided a lot of joy and sustenance during these pandemic-ridden times, so thank you so very much) blow_kiss What a fitting, beautiful, effervescent conclusion! heartheart

Author's Response on October 25, 2020 08:18pm

Thank you! heart

Summary: The first instalment in my Pillow Talk series. A missing scene in a softer season six. Buffy and Spike talk. Among other things.
Series: Pillow Talk
Categories: Season 6, Missing Scene
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Erotica, Lighthearted, Porn w/o Plot, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 3,010 Hit Count: 433 ePub Downloads: 15
Published: August 07, 2020 Updated: August 07, 2020
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Chapter 1 on October 12, 2020 Liked

This is gorgeously written and very sensitively portrayed. I'd love to think of this as a missing scene in season six. It captures all of the tenderness, insecurities, defensiveness and erotic hotness of S6 Spuffy. The deeper feelings underlying each exchange. I could picture the Dead Things scene in the beginning of the episode and this felt so real as a continuation of that dynamic slowly easing into something more open, more vulnerable that season, it felt so true to them both.

Very excited for a sequel. Just gorgeous. flowers

Summary: S6, just before As You Were; an angsty ramble (with a brighter-than-canon ending).
Categories: Season 6, Seasonal Spuffy Entries
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, HEA/HFN
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Word count: 23,999 Hit Count: 1,682 ePub Downloads: 42
Published: November 30, 2020 Updated: December 02, 2020
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Chapter 1 on December 07, 2020 Liked


Once again, I'm floored. Loved this wonderful story to bits, every single sentence. hearts

Her name sounds too… too precious, too powerful, too something when it's formed by his lips in ragged murmurs. An evocation, a heretical blessing, something that reaches down inside of her and tugs at locks it shouldn't. 

You bring such insight into their feelings, moments like these are so revealing and the things you do with language are genius, as always.

They’re spread out on a huge tray, piled over with beans and gravy and guac and tiny whole chillies, a jarring mashup of British pub food and Mexican street tucker. Oddly, perhaps, it works. Buffy smiles a vague thanks at the three-armed barman, then pokes cautiously at a chip once he's gone. Her stomach rumbles. He picks up a chip, dips it in something, and swallows it two bites before waving at the plate. "Go on. I can't eat this much alone."

AWW. This melted my heart, the way he, oh so casually, encourages her to eat and pretends it's not a date. I LOVE him. This makes me want to cry, but in the best way. And I love HER too. I feel for them so much. Thank you for giving me this impromptu Spuffy date I never knew I craved. It's poignant and bittersweet but oh so beautiful, the feels are killing me. heart 

Incredible dialogue throughout this fic. Really powerful scene with the motorbike and Spike's terror - I think that was one of my favourite parts of the fic, I got chills from it, but I also adored the way we got to see both their separate struggles, while apart. I love how this takes such a compelling detour from canon - Spike makes his decision in a really authentic way. Absolutely love the way you did it. There is so much I want to quote from this - so many moving lines and passages - but I'm afraid I'll end up just quoting the entire thing! Because every line, every word was powerful. applause


"What happened to being fearless?" The question's more wistful than anything. He scoffs instead of answering. God he talks some shit, as if he knows anything about it. The only thing that makes sense right now is her soft weight against him. 

*melts, collapses* 

All I can say is, I'm glad you listened to your muse! heartsLove the banner as well.

Summary: Buffy reunites with Spike just when she really shouldn't.
Categories: Post-Series, Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Dawn, Robert Dowling, Spike
Genres: Angst, Dark, Drama, Dramedy, Erotica, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Blood Play, Buffy/Other (Temp), Cheating/Infidelity, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 29 Table of Contents
Word count: 83,104 Hit Count: 18,447 ePub Downloads: 261
Published: March 02, 2021 Updated: April 28, 2021
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 25: Chapter 25 on April 19, 2021

I usually don't read WIPs, but you are one of my favourite writers with such a racy, captivating style. :-) So I decided to follow this story. Kudos on getting me so invested in it, despite the infidelity angle (for me, canon Buffy doesn’t cheat, but I was happy to explore a new concept like this.) heart I didn't expect the sudden Spike/Other warning which was added in chapter 22, but I was so invested in this story by that point, that I kept reading! I've kind of promised myself to never do that again since stories even on EF can take turns like this, lol! But I was curious to see how you dealt with the emotional repercussions.

I really can't say that I want Buffy to end up with the Spike in this story. To me he feels both entitled and hypocritical. I'll try to explain why I feel this way, I've thought about it carefully. Spike's rationale for why he slept with Mae makes him come off like an opportunistic prick (he didn’t think Buffy would "change her mind so soon", so therefore he sleeps with someone else?!) It makes him seem cold and calculating, especially if he’s supposed to be ruled by emotion. I can’t imagine canon Spike doing that after an unresolved fight with Buffy, especially after she said she loved him.

In Entropy, Buffy had told him to move on. She never said she loved him then. He did not enjoy the sex with Anya, it was empty, no part of it was tender or lovely to him. Even for soulless Spike, the emotional betrayal here is HUGE. And let's not forget, he's been the one pressuring Buffy to rearrange her life for him, after staying away for 7 years.

He strikes me as the hypocrite here. His professed love for Buffy is cheapened by his actions and compounded by the fact that he doesn't seem even worried that he may have lost her or hurt her forever. I'd lose respect for Buffy if she put up with this tone from someone who supposedly loves her.

Spike was far more gentle and concerned about not wanting to hurt Mae's feelings when he talked of Buffy. He was very empathetic with her. He didn't want her to feel jealous or insecure. But with Buffy, he just sarcastically rolls his eyes? Yet she's the woman he supposedly loves?? His credibility is unsalvageable now in my eyes. We're meant to believe he loves Buffy in this story, but it doesn't feel convincing to me at all. I wish I didn't feel that way but I do. Your writing is very powerful. But the way Spike is coming across here is just not clicking with me. A short while ago he was telling Mae how beautiful and desirable she was. Now he’s telling Buffy how beautiful she is. He seems like a smooth talking scumbag, to be honest. When Buffy asks if he gave the same compliments to Mae, he just rolls his eyes and tells her he said goodbye (and seems irritated that she brought up the sex.) He says he talked about his love for her, as if that makes his actions OK.

Now, we KNOW he discussed his love for Buffy during sex with Mae, because she asked him to, he didn't bring it up on his own. Considering he had so many sexy, fun, loving, good times with Mae during the 7 years he was away from Buffy, I don't feel like he was pining for Buffy all those years. He can't have his cake and eat it too. No amount of grovelling is going to take away the fact that the 'Spuffy' part of this feels a bit tainted now. I can't explain it but this honestly feels more like a Spike-Mae romance to me. Spike doesn’t deserve someone as stunning and special as Buffy IMHO. His talk of love feels theoretical. His insistence that he loves Buffy has started to feel like a tired, empty refrain that is now completely meaningless. Personally… I think it makes more sense for him to go back to Mae, or find someone else he feels compatible with. At this point I’m past caring.

He's clearly experienced a loving bond with Mae over the years so I think she makes more sense, going by the story so far. He also thinks Mae is more "sensual" than Buffy (in chapter 23), so their compatibility just feels hotter. Since all this occurred in the seven years he was “pining for Buffy” I don’t really feel much sympathy for him anymore either. He feels like a romanticised figure....walking through the rain....head filled with images of both women. He made the choice to ignite that relationship hours after an unresolved fight with Buffy (it didn't feel like comfort sex). Even after saying goodbye, he doesn't seem clear headed. Considering how mixed up he is, I think he ought to stay away from Buffy unless he's prepared to grovel. In any case, I hope he spares her any more of his toxic melodrama and entitlement. Buffy shouldn't have to share headspace with another woman.

Here are my thoughts on the Robert and Mae equivalence. It’s just not the same. For very specific reasons. Robert has been presented as a caricature from the beginning of this story. He’s written very similar to Riley. So there is no real threat for Spike in this story. From from the very beginning, Robert has been depicted as a bland foil. He makes Spike seem better in every way. No competition for Spike.

That’s not the case with Mae. Mae has been romanticised from the very beginning and framed in a very flattering ‘better than Buffy’ light. She’s described over and over again as "alluring" and extraordinary. It’s not an equal footing. If the story presented a genuine threat for Spike (maybe someone handsomer, taller, better in bed, whom Buffy had genuine meaningful feelings for), then this would feel like a more balanced conflict. But Mae is the classic manic pixie dream girl, a trope that often occurs in fics which involve Buffy's jealousy. That's why I don’t have any strong feelings about Mae. If I didn't care about Buffy, I could still enjoy this, but I DO care about Buffy.

I have really enjoyed the story, don't get me wrong. It is powerful and beautiful at so many points. But somehow, I just don't feel, given how everything has been described, that Spike loves Buffy in this story. The whole situation feels emotionally advantageous to Spike but not to Buffy. I don’t see any value in her patching things up with him now. 

I know a lot of people enjoy stories which depict Buffy as jealous and insecure because it gives Spike more power (which must be deliciously cathartic for a lot of Buffy haters), but from a Buffy point of view, this just feels deeply unfair. If Spike TRULY feels so burdened by his love for her, then I think he should just go back to Mae or any other woman and spare Buffy further confusion or trauma. 

I really, really don't want Buffy to end up with this Spike and I'd actually prefer a beautifully tragic ending to this story, because that would feel more fitting in tone. Perhaps Spike can feel regret and end up with someone else, and look back at his time with Buffy fondly. I don't know. I just know she deserves SOOOOO much better than what's been shown.

At this point, I just want Buffy to make a clean break in her life and eventually meet a new, gorgeous guy who treats her right. Someone with whom she has the best, most incredible sex of her life, who appreciates her for the spectacular woman she is. She deserves to be with a guy who wants her and only her. 

On a lighter note...I’ll fight anyone who thinks purple isn’t Buffy’s colour. devil Every color on the rainbow is Buffy's color! 😂 Haha. If Spike can't see that, then he's not the Spike I know and love.

Thanks for giving me such a compelling, if excruciating, read. For whatever reason, this isn't a salvageable Spuffy story anymore for me so I'll politely bow out at this point. I wanted to share my honest feedback on how Spike is coming across to me here, but want to add that your writing is indeed very powerful and descriptive, and you weave together so many strong emotions. I have read and re-read and LOVED your other stories, two of which are on my favourites list. This has been a really compelling read so far, this story has been a real page turner. You remain one of my favourite writers on this site. heart  

Author's Response on April 19, 2021 09:12pm

Okay. Whew. This was quite the bomb in my inbox and it was no picnic to read. 

I really don't want to go through all the points in this comment even though I find some of them so jarringly disparate from my intentions or even what actually happened... partially because I'm just sort of exhausted of explaining these characters and their choices to people who are disappointed by them and partially because I think there's no changing anyone's mind on how they feel (why should I try to do that anyway?) so what's the point? If this story wasn't for you, then it wasn't for you. I think it was pretty clear from the beginning that this would be a messy, complicated story where unfaithfulness would be explored, so I'm mostly just genuinely surprised so many people continued reading this story if it was going to be such a triggering subject.

Here's what I do want to address. Buffy/Robert and Spike/Mae are NOT the same. That's very true. Of course they aren't. For one, we don't know much about Mae. She's not a "perfect" character, she's simply unexplored because the story isn't about her. She's been in two and a half-ish chapters. We don't know her. Spike does, but we don't. She's certainly not better than Buffy? 

What those two relationships DO have in common, though, explicitly, is that Buffy and Spike have to hold back. You're right that Spike was gentle with her, but is that because he loves her more than Buffy? I don't think so. I think he craves the fire and passion he has with Buffy. The dance, the fight. Just like Buffy craves it from him and never receives it with Robert. When Buffy and Spike are together they lash out and say whatever they want and he bites her and she hits him and it's just wild and crazy and they can be like that and enjoy living in that rush but ONLY with each other. With Robert or Mae, they will always be holding back no matter how perfect those relationships may look on paper. 

The whole point of this story was to explore something very complicated and emotionally messy. To find someone you never hold back around, especially for Buffy who lives so often for the approval of others, is so freeing-- it's passionate and painful and imperfect and Spike and Buffy are both all those things in this story. They've found their person who loves them flaws and all, no matter what kind of pain it puts them through. They're not in love under the "condition" of faithfulness. Buffy's not going to leave Spike because he slept with Mae one night. Her love is not that superficial. I know a lot of people are very sensitive to cheating, but I think it's more immature to walk away from someone you love because they had a bad night and made a terrible mistake. I realize that's putting it simply, but the kind of love I feel like Buffy and Spike has is a "love you flaws and all, no matter what you do" kind of love.

I also kind of hate comments that seem to imply I just hate Buffy or something? That is so very much not the case. In fact for the first half of this story I was going a little crazy because everyone was complaining about HER infidelity and now the complaints are about Spike's. It's a story about infidelity. I don't know what else to say. 

I appreciate the passion I guess but a 15 paragraph comment on why your story "isn't salvageable" is just a brutal thing to receive. I appreciate that you tried to interject some compliments and that it wasn't all bad, but surely as a fellow human being you know that what sticks with you are the criticisms. This is a story I love. I wouldn't be working on it every day and sharing it with the community if I didn't. I don't expect everyone else to love it, but I don't expect them to leave me a dissertation on why they don't either. If you want to bow out from a story in the future, by me or anyone, please just bow out. Comments like these rattle creators. We're a sensitive bunch and putting your work out into the internet for strangers to openly comment on isn't an easy thing to begin with. I don't say that to hurt your feelings, I don't want to and I think you were well-intended here even though that's not how it came across. I just want you to know how an author is likely to receive a comment such as this. And as a suggestion, if you love stories, tell the authors that! I'm glad you enjoyed my other stories, but right now this is my only impression of you and maybe it wouldn't have felt like as much of a blow if you'd given any love to anything else I'd done in the past.

Buffybot_dreamer Replied on April 20, 2021 12:03pm

Thank you so much for your response! I want to say I really did mean every word of praise too, I wasn't just saying it for effect. I am a huge fan of your talent as a writer, perhaps that's why I thought so much about your story, I really took it seriously. Flickers and Safe are two of my most treasured fics on the site, I think they are stunning classics with such insightful characterisation. They are always going to remain permanent favourites (those are the ones I've read so far by you.) The reason I haven't commented yet is because I'd probably write a book on why they are so great, haha! But you are right, appreciation fuels creative work (I totally get that), so I will take the time to rectify that in the future to tell you how much I love your writing, because believe me, I genuinely really do. heart  It's BECAUSE I love how you write Buffy and Spike (and for the record, I was talking about Buffy haters in general, not implying you were one at all) that this story took me by surprise in terms of the characterisation towards the end. I wasn't meaning to discourage you, just honestly communicate my meaning. I think I fell in love with the passion and beauty you laid out in the powerful build up earlier that made this feel so emotional, but I will follow your advice in the future. It was really great to hear your perspective as a writer. Thanks for taking time to respond, I will continue to look forward to more by you, always! heart

Author's Response on April 20, 2021 01:12pm

Well, don't be all nice because now I feel bad for being offended!!! How dare you! wink

I'm just kidding. I really appreciate that response. You're very gracious and that's not easy to be under any circumstances. I get the sense sometimes that people (talking generally here) who don't share and publish with strangers don't realize how scary it can be to have your stuff picked apart in a critical way when you didn't expect it. I think some people think they're helping(?), and criticism can be helpful if you are stuck and needing advice and you particularly seek that out from someone... but when it comes out of the blue unsolicited it can definitely be discouraging. I try to write stories and versions of Spuffy I haven't read yet, and this one was an audacious one, but the response throughout the story has been majorly frustrating at times. I wanted to take risks and explore dark territory and it felt like some people kept trying to push me away from what I wanted to do. And nothing bothers me more than to feel like commenters are trying to make me doubt myself or steer the story a certain way (intentionally or not). I start wondering if I am writing things in certain ways as a reaction to what I've been told? Am I stubbornly trying to defy people? Am I caving to what some people are asking for because I'm tired of the complaints? All the self-doubt!

So glad you don't think I'm a Buffy hater. That would make me so sad if that's the portrayal I was accidentally writing. I love her too much!

I hope I wasn't too harsh. I hope you know that a lot of this was the result of fielding comments like this for 25 chapters now and just being tired and done with it all. My rational brain says the story is good if it ignites conversation and debate and engagement. Maybe writing just feels too personal sometimes to stay strictly rational! 

Anyway, much love and hope to hear from you again sometime in a different fic! heart

Buffybot_dreamer Replied on April 21, 2021 06:41am

Wow, you are so gracious, yourself! What you've said makes so much sense and it is eye opening to see things from the writer's point of view! Sorry to have added to the stress a writer faces during a story that is still ongoing, I understand what you mean totally and hope you know that wasn't my intention. I guess it's just testimony to the power of your writing! Anyway, thanks again... much love to you too heartheartheart

Summary: Drunk and recently dumped, Spike makes terrible decisions in bars and winds up trapped in a TV-themed puzzle box with no easy exit. But with Buffy by his side, who says he wants to leave . . .
Follows a different path starting in 6x16, “Hell’s Bells.” Inspired by Wandavision, yet needs no real knowledge of it to enjoy. 
Written for the Elysian Fields 'Artistic April Challenge' Month. Banner #75 by Puddinhead.
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Fix-It, Fluffy/Comedy, HEA/HFN, Humor
Warnings: None
Completed: No Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,334 Hit Count: 268 ePub Downloads: 2
Published: April 29, 2021 Updated: April 29, 2021
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: A Vampire Walks Into a Bar on April 30, 2021 Liked

Love this idea, you write so masterfully heart Brilliant descriptions of everything, especially Spike's thoughts. Hilarious, and so on point! I love everything you write, it captures that mix of poignant hilarity.

Author's Response on May 01, 2021 09:35am

This comment made me so happy, thanks so much for taking the time. (And I might need to cross-stitch "poignant hilarity" onto a pillow at some point, because that's what I aim to do). 

Summary:  
Sunnydale, 1998. Buffy has never been here, but Spike is still stuck on a wheelchair as his lover fawns over his grandsire and his plans of world destruction.
Their minions have brought the wrong statue, though, and Spike will quickly discover that he has an inexplicable connection to the sculpted woman in his courtyard.
Written for the Elysian Fields 'Artistic April Challenge' Month. Banner #86 by Dirtyaim.
Categories: Pre-Series, Season 2, Challenge Response
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Fluffy/Comedy, HEA/HFN, Romance, Slow-Burn
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp), Violence
Completed: No Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 1,035 Hit Count: 245 ePub Downloads: 9
Published: April 29, 2021 Updated: April 29, 2021
Buffybot_dreamer commented on Chapter 1: Prologue on April 30, 2021 Liked

This is fascinating, really excited to see where it goes hearts