Summary: Spike tries everything to be what Buffy wants but that's tough when what she wants changes all the fucking time.

A one shot exploring the missing scenes of episode 6x15 As You Were.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: simmony
Series: Canon-compliant
Categories: Season 6, Canon-Compliant, Missing Scene
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Tragedy
Warnings: None
Event: Secret Santa Fic Exchange 2021
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1
Word count: 6,168 Hit Count: 665 ePub Downloads: 16
Published: December 30, 2021 Updated: December 30, 2021

Print or Download Story: Printer Microsoft Word ePub eBook

Story Notes: NOTE: edited for English grammar and writing standards reasons in June of 2023
This fic is an Elysian Fields 2021 Secret Santa gift for Sigyn. (Sorry it's so late) read 
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

1. Not Knowing by simmony - Likes: 14 Comments: 10 Word Count: 6,168 Hit Count: 665 Published: December 30, 2021

You will find that I use the word "fuck" and variations of it pretty often in this story. I could justify that by saying I was attempting to write a very much frustrated S6 Spike (and I was!) but honestly, it also has a lot to do with me running super late writing this and being a giant ball of anxiety because of it. Turns out spontaneously signing up for an event, for a fandom you haven't written for in a year, while on vacation quickly falls apart when you return to your job and realize you're working almost every day of December, whoops. I proof-read this during two night shifts so please excuse any leftover typos (but feel free to point them out to me if you notice any, I do like a clean manuscript). 

A couple of thoughts I have about this one shot:

  • I am being kind of liberal concerning the limitations the chip puts on Spike's ability to intimidate people. Going off his explanation given in Fool For Love, join me in the happy land of "of course he can restrain people if he doesn't intend to hurt them". 
  • I like to tell myself that the reason Spike never tells Buffy he wasn't "the Doctor" is linked to his incapability to stick to any plan and follow through. Too many distractions abound.
  • My apologies to anyone named Ryan as well as anyone with friends/relatives/spouses with that name. I used to love Doctor Who, I just couldn't with the moniker. 
  • Listening to pop punk is as far as my teenage rebellious phase ever went. As such, I tend to struggle with the depiction of evil characters and their intentions. I really should get a beta but I was on a tight (/full-blown panicky) schedule for this fic. 
  • The more I watch As You Were, the less sense it makes. The plot holes dug just get deeper and murkier. I tried to make this fic as canon-compliant as possible, which is maddening when the canon you're trying to match is somewhat nonsensical.