Story Notes: This story diverges from canon post-Once More with Feeling, with the only major change from canon prior to the start of the fic being that Giles goes back to England immediately after learning where Buffy was and so isn't part of this fic. Sorry; a real adult would have messed everything up and insisted Buffy eat her vegetables. I started working on this forever ago, then had to take a break after reading HCB's brilliant Bitty Buffy and Mr Gordo series so that it wouldn't be too influenced by their fab work, but Mr. Gordo's erudite nature here is definitely influenced by that series. (Which is also to say, if you haven't read that series, go do it now. It's brilliant.) Also, this contains one Princess Bride quote because I am a weak woman who couldn't resist.

Finally, you know what's coming, a Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.