Comments For Dare
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dmf109 commented on Chapter 6 on November 22, 2020 09:17pm Liked

All I have to say is...WOW. Heavy but therapeutic conversation they needed to have.

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:42am

Yep, high time they broke that ice, filled in those gaps, and became human to each other again. Now they're real people... so they can go on and... uh... (Well, this is a Spuffy site, so you're expecting what they're eventually going to do.) 

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dmf109 commented on Chapter 5 on November 22, 2020 08:58pm Liked

Yikes is an understatement, very hard chapter to get through. 

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:41am

This is a hard bit. For both of them. 

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dmf109 commented on Chapter 4 on November 22, 2020 08:17pm Liked

Angel and Darla scene is just....weep

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:41am

Yes. Angel and Darla. This is where we get a clear... well, okay a foggy, drunken view, of just how evil they are. 

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dmf109 commented on Chapter 3 on November 22, 2020 08:00pm Liked

Didn't know I needed this story but here we are lol.  Great chapter!

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:40am

Yay! I'm glad it's catching you! 

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dmf109 commented on Chapter 2 on November 22, 2020 07:06pm Liked

Every thing about those Angel scenes is so infuriating. If he wasn't a vampire, the characterizations of Angel are spot on of how he would be in the real world. So disgusting but so realistic tbh. 

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:40am

Angel is not a good guy in this. He just isn't. He doesn't hit Buffy. That's the only thing he does (or doesn't do?) that's not evil. Which is why it takes her so long to clue in that he's... well... this human kind of evil. 

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dmf109 commented on Chapter 1 on November 22, 2020 06:54pm Liked

Haven't read a human story in a long while and the story line of this one makes this very intriguing.  Also, we have an 30+ year old Buffy in this story, which makes even more intriguing since we don't see it much.

Though I know I'll be cringing and being upset at these scenes with Angel. 

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:38am

Thanks for giving it a look-in! The scenes with Angel are hard (Some of the Past!Spuffy scenes are hard, too) but I hope it will be worth it! 

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kerry220 commented on Chapter 8 on November 22, 2020 07:15am Liked

Wild

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:22am

Isn't it, though? 

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sue commented on Chapter 8 on November 22, 2020 06:50am

They never had time or opportunity in Season 7 to put their past affair and mutually misbegotten behaviours to rest; it had been too recent, then and too near the upcoming date with the First. But they had managed to salve the wounds, looked at each other closely and the most telling moment was when Buffy chose to spend what could have been her last living night, with Spike.

Here, they have a lapse of 18 years between their destructive affair and now. Two completely different people, both successful, confident and with a keen dose of self-respect and respect for life itself. They are able to talk about their past, enlighten each other and both Buffy and Spike find that something between them again, only this time the dark environment of their past is long, long gone.

You’d think sex would have been a monumentally bad idea so soon; at first touch Spike was a gonner all over again,  Buffy was voracious and assertive - but this Buffy is passionate, and playful. There is no desperation, no victim present any more, just a clued-in, independent woman enjoying the man who, given the right circumstances all those years ago, could have been her soulmate.

And she stayed the night. Hallelujah!

Great story.

 

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:38am

Yeah, with "there's a soul now!" and various levels of trauma-bonding, season seven Spuffy managed to make something work, but this Spuffy are human and never had that kind of "convenience" to get past their mutually-abusive past. Time was what they needed, and this Spuffy, at least, gets to get it. Time and, as Spike kept telling Buffy, "We need to TALK!" Really important for them to finally do. 

Sex probably was a bad idea -- Spike said it was a mistake, given he got so lost so fast. Spike had, to be fair, been musing on Buffy ever since. She's totally saturated in his psyche, so of course he fell again. But fortunately Buffy is in a much, much better space than she was, and is willing to take, with actual joy, what Spike is offering her. 

Thank you! 

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bmerb commented on Chapter 8 on November 21, 2020 11:59pm

Ahhhh... hearts eyes. We’ll find out what misery it took to get them here but that was lovely 

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:23am

Yep, the Past is still looming behind them, but... They're here now! And now is lovely! 

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EllieRose101 commented on Chapter 8 on November 21, 2020 10:54pm Liked

It doesn't matter that I've read this before, I'm sat here weeping over it now. 

heart heart heart 

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:23am

It's a very cathartic and beautiful chapter. 

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Spikelover88 commented on Chapter 8 on November 21, 2020 07:02pm Liked

Great chapter can't wait till the next one 

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:22am

Thanks! 

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LibraryNinja commented on Chapter 8 on November 21, 2020 03:46pm Liked

hearts

Snuggles are everything! (Especially with spuffy)

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:22am

Sunggles are the center of every physical relationship, I think. 

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Sexyypasta commented on Chapter 1 on November 21, 2020 03:00pm

I am so glad that you decided to write about this relationship in two different time frames and give us the possibility to explore these character in different stages of their life. I am totally for Adult!Buffy narratives, they feel closer to me now. It is so easy to relate to these emotions, that are flawed and realistic and beautiful. You are amazing, as usual.

Thank you!

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:21am

The two timelines were badly needed. For one thing, if it was told sequentially, the heaviness of the Past storyline would be just too damn much for anyone to read. Second, we as readers don't get that 18 years of TIME which was needed to heal, so if I dropped the storyline into "And then they fell into bed together again" just after the trauma of how the Past relationship ended, everyone would be screaming, NO! As it is we get to soften and build up to how the past storyline develops knowing in advance that they've already largely healed. (And are helping each other to heal fully.) 

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BloodyMarie commented on Chapter 8 on November 21, 2020 02:32pm Liked

I checked to see if this story was updated before sitting down for breakfast and ended up in bed with tears in my eyes. I swear I ran the gamut of human emotions reading this.

I love the point-of-view shift in this so we feel the shock along with Buffy learning the major thing she doesn't know and then Spike's disbelief and awe at what is happening.

I was also wondering when the title was going to come into this and then reading Spike's thoughts he didn't dare ask or look at her followed her actually daring him was so good. 

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:18am

Aw! I'm so glad it touched you! 

Poor Spike, so bewildered, and oh, Buffy, you should have known that night would affect Spike as deeply as it affected you. 

Ah, yes. Dare. The title came to me during this scene, actually. I wrote a lot these early scenes in a black out on a pre-charged ipad, and it had no title for several chapters. Until... suddenly there it was. 

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gill commented on Chapter 8 on November 21, 2020 01:53pm Liked

Oh man  love their maturity. What a great reunion. Can it be this simple? Will they be happy?

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:16am

Wouldn't it being that simple be great? They are all mature and sensible now... 

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magnus374 commented on Chapter 8 on November 21, 2020 01:35pm

 They have spent some time together and bonded a bit but this moment at the diner feels like the big moment, when they really opened up and talked about the ghosts of the past. We can see more of the mirroring of the show in what was said and what wasn't said. Naturally the conversation was somewhat awkward but hopeful. They did have other things than the past to talk about.

In the second part the attraction and passion got out in the hot scene in his room. The fact that Buffy wanted to spend the night makes it very hopeful indeed. They can get to know each other as free adults. That ending line was great.

There are many questions about the past still there and one if the biggest is what happened to Angel, is he out there?

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:15am

Yeah, this is where Present!Spuffy finally come together, and their story can properly start. Before this it was just awkward getting-to-know-each-other-again. Now... they know. They both know. And where do they land when they both know? Well.. in bed, of course. It's Spuffy! 

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sassafrass commented on Chapter 8 on November 21, 2020 01:29pm Liked

I owe you a couple reviews.

the chapter where they spoke about Buffy’s mothers passing, her failed relationship with the normal guy, the way Spikes marriage ended with Dru. You have such a soft way or describing things, you make us feel like we’re right there. I was so excited to read about what had happened in the in between. I love how you are effortlessly weaving them back together after all of these years.

the chapter about the past, how their intimate relationship begins with a secret from angel and their magnetic connection drawing Buffy to him— through guilt, her own curiosity, and seldom acknowledged attraction. I really loved this chapter because it was so human. Doing something you’re not supposed to be doing. Wanting to stop but something within you pulling you to continue. Spike really giving her so much more with so little than Angel ever has. Terrible and lovely.

and then there’s this chapter. Wow. What a revelation. Every detail. So real. So human. I felt every word. From their after work chat about Cordelia to their late dinner where they really broach their past for the first time. Spikes AA pin. Buffy’s insistence on the soup. You have a way of writing that really just totally envelops us in a scene. 
And then the ride to his place, all of us hoping and praying she’d go up with him— and she does!! Relearning that doesn’t require much doing at all, realizing their the same and different, the laughing, the joy, the fumbling— all of it was so well done. It actually evolved their relationship in more ways than physically. It gives me so much pleasure to read scenes where reality isn’t discarded. Using the restroom after sex, getting rid of the condom, her squeezing him afterward feeing good and also painful— 😂 all of the realities of sex that never get mentioned in romance because they’re less than romantic but it ads a layer of humanness to it all that I so appreciate. 

as always, hanging on your every word. Can’t wait for the next update. You’re an incredible writer and I love that you freely give us these amazing stories about these characters we love so dearly. Grateful for you!

Author's Response on November 23, 2020 05:33am

Ooh! Excellent! (Reviews are never "owed" by the way, but it's awesome that you're offering them. They make writers so happy.)

Spuffy suddenly finding they wanted to open up to each other, fill in the gaps between them, was really important to them moving forward. (Also, as readers it gives us a good basis for where they are now.) 

They sort of trauma-bonded over the way Buffy had accidentally abused Spike so horribly. I'm glad it came off as very human, because that's what I was trying for. Human flaws human failings turning into something they never intended, but ended up more powerful than either of them individually. 

And then the diner. All the normal, co-worker stuff had to get settled before they could have THIS conversation, which is one they'd both been longing to have from the second they saw each other again. (Probably from the second they parted in the past.) 

And Buffy goes with him! Because she's really been wanting to. Don't tell me she just bought those condoms on a "whim." This was a "I'm totally not doing this, nope, no, I'm not," plan. I tried to make the sex in this story very real, very human, very un-fantasy (or as least as much as possible writing an erotica) because they are human here, and sex doesn't go according to how porn usually portrays it. Most porn is trying to capture the feeling of the power of sex, and thus tends to run to fantasy, and this story is trying to be real about it. 

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're reading and that anyone at all likes this story. I've been very nervous about it. (Given I've been sitting on it for more than a year should tell you that.) 

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scorpiogirl commented on Chapter 6 on November 19, 2020 05:18pm Liked

I Loved their talk!

 

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:49am

It was high time they did it. 

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Beachtallulah commented on Chapter 7 on November 15, 2020 05:23pm Liked

2

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:49am

3!

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magnus374 commented on Chapter 7 on November 15, 2020 07:27am

I'm not sure what I should call this, "calm despair" is something that got stuck in my mind. It's such a bad situation and we got another reminder of how awful Angel is, selling his brothers painkillers. The situation between Buffy and Spike is both intimate and bleak. It's hard for me to put word into this, it's sort of a mood.

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:50am

I love this comment, it's one of those little treasurey ones. Intimate and bleak is exactly where past!Spuffy are in this story. 

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cinf commented on Chapter 7 on November 15, 2020 06:07am Liked

I would love to know more about spike’s feelings and thoughts here.  Why isn’t he flinching from Buffy? Why isn’t he afraid? Is he afraid? Or, the obvious question in domestic violence - why doesn’t he leave?  I’ve been in a similar situation, and I know there are many reasons why people don’t leave, but I’d love to know what’s going on in his head.

You’d hope that nowadays a hospital wouldn’t discharge someone who was pretty clearly a victim of domestic violence quite so quickly: and that social services would be involved. 

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:56am

Spike does answer most of those questions, as the story continues. The relationship never cleans up, not in the past time line. Buffy needs therapy, Spike needs to quit drinking and think things out. It's all very complicated for poor Spike, and for Buffy, too.  

The past scenes are somewhere around the 90's, and frequently they still allow male victims of abuse to just shrug it off. It's a shame. 

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EllieRose101 commented on Chapter 7 on November 15, 2020 03:53am Liked

Wrong, yes, but... also kind of right? In a wrong way. 

Gosh, this fic is complicated! 

(And I still love it.) 

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:52am

This fic IS complicated. 

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bmerb commented on Chapter 7 on November 14, 2020 10:18pm Liked

Whew. There’s just a whole lotta whole lot here. Ah Angel you eternal douchewad. And the two of them... Disfunctional, check. Masochistic, check. Forbidden, check. Hot, check. Sounds like spuffy!

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:53am

There's a lot to unpack in this relationship. Angel's influence on them, Spike's masochism, Buffy's power-hunger, just... a lot. And yep! I did my best to make it as Spuffy as possible! 

bmerb Replied on November 20, 2020 06:20pm

Honestly I’m very impressed. All human AU generally does absolutely nothing for me, but this is well written and somehow remains remarkably true to character (and does result in deeper flaws, which, interesting). 

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 09:00pm

I think a lot of people try to "fix it" with fic, whereas I tend to make it worse in some way or another. The goal with this one was actually to say, "If season six had happened with real people, how would it get better without magic and souls and missions and trauma-bonding to get through it?" The first answer was "time" which meant two storylines. The second answer was "self-improvement" which both of them had to go through on their own. So I took pieces from the show, rearranged them, did squiggles, and tried my best to see what happened if I reinvented it from all those pieces. I don't read romance, so what came out wasn't very romantic, (at least a first) but ended up very Spuffy regardless of the loss of magic. 

bmerb Replied on November 20, 2020 10:24pm

“I don't read romance, so what came out wasn't very romantic, (at least a first) but ended up very Spuffy regardless of the loss of magic.”

Thank god for THAT. I like erotica as much as the next fanfic junky, but I’m a sucker for complicated/doomed ships. Straight up romance isn’t terribly interesting, and it certainly isn’t particularly in character for spuffy. After all, honestly, that’s why I’m here or in any fandom, compelling characters and storylines. Sweetness is delicious but more than a dollop or a seasoning and it’s quickly saccharine. I’m enjoying the gritty realism in Dare, the characters feel familiar and genuine. 

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bmerb commented on Chapter 6 on November 14, 2020 09:51pm

Also, did I mention my deep admiration for how you portrayed Dru? Absolutely brilliant, and true to character AND Spike’s role with her. Perfect. 

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:54am

Dru is always a joy to add anywhere. Making her human just makes her adorable. (I still think she was abused when she was younger, too, though I never get into that, this not really being Dru's story in any way.) 

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BloodyMarie commented on Chapter 7 on November 14, 2020 09:06pm

She put him in a wheelchair again?! I was shocked and had to go back and read chapter 5. I wondered how they were going to have a weird unbalanced relationship when both are human but you pulled it off. 

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:52am

Yep, she put him right down. I didn't make life easy for either of them. 

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Spikelover88 commented on Chapter 7 on November 14, 2020 08:34pm Liked

Great chapter can't wait till the next one 

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:51am

Thanks! 

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gill commented on Chapter 7 on November 14, 2020 08:26pm Liked

Hot. I really had no idea what was going to bring these two together. Really interesting development. Awful about Angel and the pain killers. 

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:51am

Angel is an absolute human monster in this story. 

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LibraryNinja commented on Chapter 7 on November 14, 2020 07:18pm Liked

wave

Author's Response on November 20, 2020 12:50am

haha

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celtic_goddess commented on Chapter 6 on November 10, 2020 09:18am Liked

Broken the ice? More like jumped in the deep end! Trademark intensity from Spuffy though, I love it! Three things I’m wondering: why does Buffy still have to deal with Angel, what happened with her reproduction (a little scared to find out the answer to this one), will she ever admit to being a tad jealous? thinking

Author's Response on November 10, 2020 06:35pm

Yeah, they did jump in, both feet, didn't they? They do nothing by halves. As for 3 things, you'll just have to see. They all do get addressed.  

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EllieRose101 commented on Chapter 6 on November 08, 2020 05:29am Liked

I love the dialogue. How it flows from awkward to really deep and personal. 

If only they'd talked like this before. 

They've both been through so much.

*cuddles them* 

Author's Response on November 09, 2020 01:38am

They really should have been talking more before. 

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