What a whacky concept. I can't imagine how you all managed to get so many authors collaborating on this, but I thoroughly enjoying it so far.
DarkVoid worked REALLY hard getting us all together. Thank you!
One of my fave pleasures is seeing a writer or beta who can tell the difference between affect and effect.
LOL on “fruit rollup floreplay scenario”!
Woo hoo! A Laverne and Shirly fan!
Buffy was surprised at putting a skirt on over her head. Since I’m pear shaped, I have always put skirts and dresses on over the head and thought that was the norm.
First of all, THANK YOU ALL for this kick-ass birthday present! I was prepared for my birthday to be just another meh day of work, and instead I woke up to something truly glorious. I was literally in tears as soon as I figured out what was going on. You are all the absolute best, and there really are no words to express my gratitude.
That being said, I have reviewy words for all of you because an epic gift like this deserves an epic review.
Also, SoaringClaws! The banner is super fantastic! Thank you!!!!
Yellowb (scene 1):
“bitc— oww!” literally made me laugh out loud. As did ‘“Fuckety fuck fucking fuck,” explained Spike.’ It’s like you wrote this especially to delight me - oh, right, you did. <3
As always, your voices for Spike, Buffy, and Giles are fantastic, and the setup priceless. I don’t know who came up with “Spuffy joined at the hip” but it is awesome.
OffYourBird (scene 2):
You know, I had never considered that Spike, being a demon, should have been attracted by “demon magnet” Xander. One can presume that his engagement to Spuffy trumped the magnetism in canon… Yup, I’m sold.
“Xander’s fruit roll-up foreplay scenario” is a horrifying phrase. Also, “his body was disturbingly rock hard against hers” takes on new nuance when we later find out that the demons all want to mate with Xander… Good thing Buffy’s “always” got Spike “contained” because that could get ugly.
Pfeifferpack (scene 3):
Well, you know what I like, that’s for sure! Spuffy snarking at each other while Giles benevolently (?) rolls his eyes and tries to ignore them. Mmmm. I bet you never thought your “glorious” line would end up being a recurring theme for the whole story! <3
Susan (scene 4):
First of all, I am BEYOND honored that you dipped your toe into the writing waters for this! Even now, writing this, a day and a half after I first read the fic, I am tearing up. Also, you should totally write more, because this is awesome. I love the Giles-Anya interplay (“practically a fetus” is inspired) and Spike’s train of thought from hatred to lust to Laverne and Shirley is just perfect.
Dark (scene 5):
So, did you guys fight over who got to write which bits of be-catnip? Because Spike fighting in tandem with Buffy is one of my favoritest things ever, and you delivered fantastically. I love your cynical Spike PoV here; his asides on Buffy and the Scoobies are perfect. (And while I’m talking to you, THANK YOU for organizing this best of surprises!! You are sneaky and underhanded and completely awesome!)
Megan (scenes 6-7):
Oh, Spike tormenting Riley is another of my Favorite Things, and you have him in fine form. I love the way he oozes evil sensuality here, with that little undercurrent of denial at how much he’s enjoying Buffy’s closeness. Just beautiful.
Being flung back into him like a rubber band and sprawling indelicately all over his hard, tight…repulsive body, hammered their situation home, in an embarrassingly public way. No more Denial Buffy. The irony here is so, so tasty. Nope, no denial here. Really, I love how you have both of them consciously wallowing in hatred while their bodies and subconscious are telling a different story. Classic s4 Spuffy and I love it so much!
Angelic_amy (scene 8):
Ah, poor doomed Buffy and her even-more-doomed dorm room damage deposit…. I love the slow growth here of cautious almost-affection and definite familiarity, they way they fall in to camaraderie… almost lie they’re joined at the hip! Lol… I like how you gave them the same evidence as in canon but with different knowledge sets and thus slightly different conclusions.
Sigyn (scene 9):
Why am I not surprised that you are addressing the very real reality of being joined at the hip? Poor needing-to-pee Buffy…
“But there’s always workarounds.” Buffy stared at him in excitement. “Take off your pants.”
“Pardon me?” Spike said, his accent sounding oddly formal.
This moment had me cheering. And I love Spike going all Victorian in the moment, his crafted image slipping.
“Oh, god, Spike bits. Bits of Spike.”
“Do you always wear panties with little polka dots on?”
“They’re right there.”
“They’re not for you!”
“Well, no, I don’t think they’d fit me very well. I have some other bits which -- well, as you observed--”
I do love how Spike automatically falls into sympathy and rough kindness when he realizes Buffy is actually upset. He just can’t help it….
A truly delightful first half. Now, on to part two….
I kinda hate to take this off everyone's "unresponded" list -- but I'll just point out that OYB had the stuck-like-glue idea.
And also, that there is a very obvious reason we all flocked to co-author this: you are awesome, and spread much joy, as a person and as a writer.
Oh, and I forgot to sign that, despite lots of practice with joint authorship... That was me, yellowb.
I love that this exists!! Yay for collaborative creativity! <333
"mind my privates, you uncoordinated bitc-"
(he said bitca)
dun dun dunn, are they... joined at the hip? :)
"“Fuckety fuck fucking fuck,” explained Spike."
"or I’ll drag us both out into the sun and just brush away the ashes—”
oh man, that's fierce
I like that the demon magnet effect is working on Spike
"My SATs were really high"
She has a point. So does Spike, though, - he should know what vampires can feel.
Very nice callback to the Cruciamentum :)
"All his years? What about all my years? He’s practically a fetus.”
Shot's fired! :)
I liked that Anya narrated the fight to Giles :D
"Buffy looked over at him, seemingly flabbergasted at his kindness. The bint couldn’t see that he just wanted to get the fuck away from her Scoobies."
"tone of meltingly sensual promise"
"his amusement obviously misconstrued as friendliness"
"his hard, tight…repulsive body"
I like that the spell burned the carpet. Makes sense.
Ooh, maybe Willow is invisible!
"One, yes, their flesh was now so closely bound together that it no longer looked as if she could slide a piece of paper between them, let alone two thick pairs of jeans."
Oh shit! :D
Yay, bits of Spike!
"But nudity was something rather amusing to him. He’d been taking this like a joke. Now he realized, this was absolutely humiliating for her. To a lesser extent, this was the kind of shit Angel used to pull on some of the toys he brought home to play with before eating. Take off your clothes, force you to touch me, no, you can’t have privacy for the loo, you’ll do it right there in front of me."
Yay, he got it! <3
Aww, how good that he thought of the skirt!
Ooh, cliffie! :)
Wow, thank you so much!
“They interrupted Xander’s fruit roll-up foreplay scenario,” Anya said with a huff.
Do I want to know? No, I don't, I don't!
Not necessarily literally glued to someone glorious
Kinda works out ... gloriously, in the end.
What kind of monster could hate someone who smelled like that? He convinced himself that his urge to head into the bathroom and toss off was completely unrelated to his thoughts about Buffy.
Spike, master of his own heart!
It seemed a lovely bit of justice that his trousers were now one with the Slayer’s.
Ha, lovely phrasing. And I love that in all possible versions of Something Blue, it seems Riley is in for a disappointment outside the wedding shop.
I love Buffy getting bounced out of her own dorm room by Spike's lack of invite, brilliant!
“Do you always wear panties with little polka dots on?”
I can totally hear exactly how he would ask this, like when he asks Joyce about the marshmellows.
Bloody fantastic job everyone, this reads so amazingly smoothly that it's hard to believe it was so many different brains creating it :D
Alright, gotta do this section by section...
1) yellowb -
“Fuckety fuck fucking fuck,” explained Spike. “Fucking magic.”
- Haha, I love this somehow perfectly worded response to the situation
I’ll drag us both out into the sun and just brush away the ashes—”
- Lolz, I guess that would work 😂
2) OffYourBird -
Love the last two lines so much, Giles and Xander. Delicious wording, and their faces are so crystal clear in my head :D
3) pfeifferpack -
used that often enough to get me to do what you wanted back when I still had my balls.”
- Exactly! She so needs to integrate this with her rote ideas of vamp emotions, because she saw it plainly without pausing to consider that it didn't match.
4) Susan - Squee! New author! Congratulations 🎉
“All his years? What about all my years? He’s practically a fetus.”
- This made me laugh so much :D
She glanced to her side and wondered if Spike was also weighing the after effects of their earlier argument and the implications of what he’d said.
Who do I have to fucking kill around here to get some blood? I’m fucking starving
- Haha, absolutely perfect!
he knew that would be a difficult activity to hide from or explain to his pseudo-conjoined twin.
- Hehe, it certainly would
5) DarkVoid116 -
Excellent fight/discovery scene, love it!
The bint couldn’t see that he just wanted to get the fuck away from her Scoobies.
- Haha, nice.
6 & 7) Megan
Angel’s human twin
- Oh this is brilliant 😂
Love the wind beneath my wings reference! And the onlookers clapping, awesome :D
He wasn’t looking at her...
- This paragraph, love! So very Buffy.
And the square one circle, lolz :D
9) Sigyn - wonderful opening banter :D
She always seemed so demonic to him, he forgot how human she still really was.
- Love this thought so much.
The whole nakedness and switch in mood is so wonderful, and I love Buffy's “They’re not for you!” so very much, exactly right.
Then the making him wash his hands too, that's somehow so adorable.
Thank you so much!
The scenario in itself is so amusing.
Being stuck together like this would create a lot of problems and would naturally be very frustrating. They did manage to get some good talking done. Spike is at least seeing himself as evil and would of course use this anyway he can. I couldn't help but like how he acted when they met Riley. He is also good at reading people and noticing that some parts of this was humiliating for Buffy, he tried to help.