Gah it's all beautiful and gorgeous and *all the feels*. You have such a wonderful way with words, poetic and raw rolled in together. I adore it and need to reread many times 😍
Thank you so much 💙
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!
Ya know, I vacillate between they did and they didn't depending on my mood. That scene of the way they look at each other, across the room, just leaves it wide open. "He dreams about her, in the sunshine." Gah! Even though I already knew he was going to be resurrected, I cried like a baby at the end Chosen and spent the rest of the night muttering 'Oh, Spike' to myself. That's why I refuse to accept the comics, aka, "Oh Hi, knew you were back but was too busy to come and see the vampire who permanently freed me from the Sunnydale Hellmouth" as canon.
Now get back to that prospectus! ;-)
Yeah, I certainly don't mind reading (or writing!) fics where they did, but when I watch the episode I tend to feel like they did not. Maybe because of Spike's greatest night in Touched...maybe also because I like writing resurrection!fic and I think it's more poignant if they haven't had sex since Season Six.
I feel you on the comics, too. Honestly, it was a stretch for me even in Angel that Spike didn't immediately run off to her. I know the given reason was that he was worried she wouldn't want him, and I would say he assumed she didn't need him anymore (no Hellmouth), but Spike is impulsive and follows his heart. I could at least see him taking a page from Angel's book (lol) and trying to find Buffy and see that she's okay without talking to her. Of course, it's Spike, so he's rarely good at sticking to a plan...
This allowed us to see his view of Buffy change the more he got to know her. Good to see that it disturbed Spike when she said William. It was awful when she did in "as you were" and it felt bad here too.
Yeah, I've always been interested in that choice to have her say "William" there. In an episode full of...not great...writing, that stood out to me as something I actually really like.
Over the years I have understood that many people actually liked it. To me it was an awful insult which drives home that Buffy is unable to see that Spike's feelings is real. She hurt him in so many ways and called him so many horrible things but since (in her mind) his feelings aren't real, she doesn't say sorry to him, she said it to William. A lot of people apparently liked that but for me that was such a low point for Buffy, an awfully cruel thing to say and one of her worst treatments of Spike.
People see things differently and good for them but just like with the soul, I can't see anything good in it, just destruction of what could have been good.
I love this exploration of the different ways he's looked at her all those years, the metamorphosis that happened organically. How the love grew and changed becoming almost a living thing on its own.
It's lovely that he was "permitted" (by himself especially) to say those words to her once again before it all ended. Sad that he already is certain she doesn't return the emotion.
This is a beautiful tribute to his love for her on the eve of that battle, his last night before ash (or so he fully expected).
Thank you for your thoughtful comments! Spike right before Chosen really is one of my favorite periods, because I love angst and tragic love and all that. It's an especially nice parallel to the end of S5, where he told Buffy he'd die for her.