Awesome story so far. Is it weird I somehow want Owen and Spike to be friends? lol. Maybe if they do the spell with Angel Dru will end up more sane and end up with Owen. O.O I never thought Dawn could be more annoying but you somehow made her above and beyond. I love how you've written all the others so far so I'm sure the Dru you write will be awesome. :)[Report This]
Oooof I just want to hold Buffy right in my arms and help her get better. (I could kill her parents for locking her in that psych ward and making her so skittish around therapists.) And I want to smack Dawn for being such a brat, even though I bet being on her own will be better for Buffy in the long-run. And I love Buffy being aware that she needs some time; she and Owen still have work to do and she isn't in a good place for Spike yet.
All of this is to say, I love this so much, including the mob of teeny tiny demons intent on taking Spike out.[Report This]
So I was here for the entire bar listening in to Spike's tale of woe and offering advice, but then you brilliantly put them in a dark corner to rant and vent and make the other laugh which was even better. I loved Willie being concerned for his only employee (once she's not scaring the customers away, could it be that he has a soft spot for Buffy?), and I also love all the demons still calling her Slayer. This is so brilliant and I am so excited for this!
I am ambivalent about Owen because, on the one hand, he seems like an excellent boyfriend, but on the other, he better bow out of the field gracefully when Buffy and Spike are ready to make googly eyes at each other.[Report This]
Incredible chapter! When they admit their feelings, and Buffy is soothing Spike as he drinks from her, just beautiful.
Thank you so much. That entire scene took me by surprise while I was writing it, so I'm glad to know it went over well. :)
This is a really intense story. I have to admit that I am not entirely comfortable with such a deep depression in such a young Buffy. Although, so far, I'm willing to wait and see how it goes.
Love your writing, it flows and swirls without loosing its intensity. It lets the reader live it and feel it... Another Buffy and Spike, but still themselves, sweet and painful. Lovely.
Thank you so much for this feedback. I do believe you're the only person to have mentioned something about the severity of Buffy's depression or the intensity of the story as a whole. I'm glad you picked up on it, because it's definitely going to get more intense as the story progresses, though hopefully it won't lose all its humor. And yeah, depression in anyone is uncomfortable to witness, but the fact of it is that young people feel things like this all the time, and the most depressing thing I've ever heard in real life was a sixteen-year-old girl I know talking to her mom about her cutting and feelings of suicide. So I really wanted to give this version of Buffy a fair shake. I'm glad you see the beauty in all of Spike and Buffy's brokenness, and thank you for the compliment to my writing. The wordsmithing can definitely be time-consuming.
Enjoying this. Very different kind of story— I don’t remember anything quite like this one!
Drusilla is tough. She always has her own internal login, she just dances brokenly around the edges. Looking forward to seeing your interpretation.
Yay, thanks for calling it unique. I was definitely hesitant when I first posted this story because I didn't want to trod on old ground, so I like hearing that it's setting itself apart. Hopefully, Drusilla in the next chapter will be... interesting lol. :)
Wow amazing chapter. Dawn is a freaking heathen but I really like her. The Buffy/Spike interaction was actually kinda beautiful and their dance was hot even without the sexual touching. Very well written. 💚
Thank you. I like Dawn too. I always thought she got a bit too much flak, personally. Not that I'm going to be making her less of a brat here lol but still. I'm glad you're seeing some beauty in the Spuffy so far. :)
Wow, what a great story and lovely characterizations! The mixture of comedy and tragedy is really hard to do: you make it work beautifully.
Thank you so much. I never aim for comedy, but it makes me so happy to learn that it happens anyway. I'm trying to make this realistic, and it's so gratifying to know that it still manages to make people smile.
Wow, this is beautifully written and extremely fun to read! I very much look forward to more!!!!
Thank you so much. The wordsmithing can definitely be hard sometimes, so I'm glad it went over well this chapter. The next is in the works. :D
It is a complicated life Buffy is living. Dawn is really a handful and has her ways to get in trouble. I get very mixed feelings about her home life. Joyce seems to be handling some things well, but it is disturbing the way Buffy is threatened with asylum to behave, especially since Joyce actually knows about the supernatural.
Naturally things became awkward between Buffy and Kendra after Kendra said that she loved her.
I must say that I really liked the Halloween scene and how Dawn felt better about Spike since he didn't eat the kids himself but gave them to Dru.
Spike and Buffy had a great talk with him talking about different kind of love.
Thanks for all your feedback. I understand your mixed feelings about Buffy's home life, just remember that we're only getting things from Buffy's perspective so far, and in addition to that, we only heard her talking about it to Dawn, when she was trying to make herself sound as unenviable as possible. Buffy and even Spike are both rather unreliable narrators, but I think it makes a story fun that way lol.
Love your story!
Can’t wait to read how it continues!
So if I understood right, Buffy thinks she is not the slayer anymore but can still keep up with Kendra when they train? And hold her own with some demons? Just how dormant is her slayer? Looking forward to finding out. Also I hope for some more back story on how she ended up working at Willy’s - which is brilliant I think- and how she got so open minded and into research!
I love how you have them both sound in first person pov, I think you nailed them both.
Thanks for sharing!
I was soooooooo tempted to just answer all your questions in this response, but then I realized that I'd better just go on ahead and write the damn fic already lol. It'll probably be a little while before some of your questions are addressed though, so if you're truly plagued by any burning must-know-now queries, feel free to PM me. We're definitely going to be getting a lot of back story over the next few chapters, though maybe not quite so much in chapter 3. I'm so glad you think I got their voices down. That's definitely been one of the most fun things to develop in this fic.
Really interesting alternative versions of these characters. I like her insights on Dawn and their family dynamic. It really makes sense. She’s believable, too ; an interesting overlay of depression and awareness deepening the Buffy we know. Spike is also interesting, and I like that she perceives him as a demon. I’m interested to read what comes next.
Thanks for the feedback. I really love that you used words like insight and perception and awareness, since all of that comes into play in future chapters. I'm glad you like their characterizations so far, and I'm so happy to see you say they're believable. There's more character (and plot) development to come. ^_^
Absolutely one of the best interactions between Buffy and Spike, Buffy and Dawn, Buffy and Willy, and Buffy and the Demon Population. Throw in Spikes interaction with that crew and his eavesdropping on the cramped hand malfunction at the vagina of the Slayer, and the minions of doom as the kids track Spike down and attack, with Dawn as one of the ring-leaders and I have done nothing but laugh through the first two chapters and enjoy the uniqueness of your imagination. More. Soon. More!
I love it so much every time people say I'm funny, since it's just because I'm actually really very awkward, so it's wonderful to know that my uniqueness, as you put it, can make others smile.
Thank you so much for the feedback.
Good God Dawn is a handful and then some! She is SO jealous of Buffy and is going to land herself in a royal mess if not careful. Good thing Buffy loves her.
Joyce has thrust too much responsibility on Buffy for her own life. Buffy is still just 16! It is sad that the threat of an asylum is what is being used to control Buffy at all. No one is looking out for Buffy. No one! Her "friends" and Giles have also abandoned her. She is magnificent though in all her broken glory and Spike loves her.
I am in raptures over that whole sequence where Spike lays out what is going on between them and what they both want. Heedy stuff there! The beauty of other languages (especially Greek) is the many meanings of the word love. We use that one word to mean everything from "I love peanut butter" to "I love my dog" to "I love my mother" to "I love my significant other" and the love is quite different in every case while the word remains. Having him use the different forms to show the different meanings was brilliant.
I love (see...there it is) that Buffy knows that Owen is her now but not her future. Still, she is careful of his heart.
Your Buffy has all the best of her qualities in canon. Losing her powers has actually been very freeing for her in so many ways.
It's a good thing that Spike will be gone for a significant time getting that payment. No doubt there will be many things happen while he is gone. Have a feeling Kendra will be gone for one thing (and rather sad that she loves Buffy. Shades of Satsu there). I imagine Owen will be history as well. Buffy might even have her powers back... we'll see.
Love the exchange of Kung Fu for Piano.
Their whole relationship is a delight. The UST is excellent as well.
Brilliant chapter here!
As for Dru... here's my two cents for what it's worth. Remember that while she is mad she is not stupid. What she says and does has to make sense in a weird almost psychedelic prism sort of way. When she tosses out a non sequitur it has to actually mean something even if only in hindsight. She is fragile but never weak and that includes her mind. She SEES things and the problem comes with seeing more than the current time and in trying to express what she sees in a clear way. It has to make sense to her and even the reader in some way (for example in canon... the burning baby fishes she mentions meant nothing in that time period but made a sort of sense a century later when he had a chip that burned his brain when he'd try to hurt or kill a human). She never says things just to be saying things...there needs to be a reason. Part of her is still human too like Spike (remember in canon she was punishing Angel with the holy water for what he did to her sisters! Part of her cares about the damage done).
Thank you so much for the feedback. Dawn will definitely have a role to play on and off as the story goes on. You'll have to wait a little while, but we'll be seeing more from Joyce, Giles, and the Scoobies and just what's happening on their sides of things in later chapters. I absolutely love the phrase broken glory. It so brilliant and totally Buffy. Also, I'm glad you liked the whole love spiel. It came out of nowhere when I was writing the scene (which is why they're both so surprised when it happens lol) and I was truly worried it was a bit much, but I couldn't see it going any other way.
You are absolutely right that a lot of things will be happening while Spike's away, as to what those things are, well, I'll leave that to speculation. I'm so happy you like their next exchange. I honestly think it's one of the stupidest things I've ever written, but since they were literally just contriving ways to spend more time together I figured it could therefore be a little contrived lol. That, and I started having naughty thoughts about piano-teacher!Spike and student!Buffy and that totally cinched it.
And thank you so much for the advice on Drusilla. It totally helped to get me through a tough patch in chapter 3. Actually making progress now. Yay!
Yay you’re back!!! 💕💕💕💕💕
And then I disappeared again!!!
I know, I'm terrible with updating, but have faith, nothing I dare to post will ever be abandoned, no matter how far my wandering writer's eye might roam. ^_^
Lol, the Halloween was a ride and demon Dawn was fun, and yaaay Dawn/Spike bonding! I love their friendship! :D
The part that really, really got me tho, was the conversation about love. Shit, I'm a sucker for open, honest conversations about love. No tricks, no games, just a sincere conversation, where you're telling the truth, both to your partner and to yourself.
Awwww, this story is killing me with how perfectly you build it all up.
Please accept my most heartfelt gratitude!
And oh, Spike is going away for a while? Huh, I wonder if Angelus happens during or after Spike's trip... if at all... And what's gonna happen to Kendra! I hope she lives longer than on the show, I always liked her and I like how you write her here even more. :D
Anyway, thank you so much for this chapter! Looking forward to the next update! :D
Thanks so much for the feedback. Sorry for the suuuper late response, by the way. I remember back when I first read most of these, there were so many points readers brought up in their comments that I wanted to talk about but were toootally spoilers, so basically, I was like, "Eep!" and didn't respond for the longest. Never forgot though, and now that chapter three is well underway, I figured it was high time to right everybody back.
Glad you enjoyed chapter 2. Dawn/Spike has always been one of my favorite friendships in the history of ever. I'm also glad you like the sincere conversations, because there are a great many more in store. It seems this story is going to be either inner monologuing or dialogue. Which is really fun for me to write, but conversely I also love a good action scene, or love making scene, or hell, at least a kiss. But as you pointed out yourself, Spike's going away for a while, and so the smut is going to be on the back burner, though I hope I dial up the UST well in the mean time.
As for Angelus and Kendra, well, you'll just have to wait and see.
I am truly going to enjoy this one. I love the premise so far. It is so different from cannon. I can't wait to see where you take it next.. More please.
More is, thankfully, imminent. Not sure how long I can keep up the pace, but chapter two is fresh back from the beta and finally ready to go. Glad you're enjoying it so far.
Thanks for the comment.
Wow I love it 💖 and so looking forward to more. Like the poem at the beginning but a little nervous about the 2nd line, girl he once knew, hoping it means Buffy before she gets her powers back and not in a death way. It's great they're getting to know each other and Spike is freaking hilarious. I hope Owen doesn't die. Brilliant start 💚
I'm glad you like it so far. Unfortunately, that's about all I can say without spoiling the rest of the story. It's funny just how much this comment had me feeling like Tom Holland on a press junket tour. lol
Thanks for the comment.
Oh this is a brilliant start.
Great job on the POV's. Very nicely done and recognizable given the circumstances.
I love this first meeting and the whole story idea of the story.
I love that Buffy has NO interest in Angel and that they can share their opinion of him in honesty.
Love the evaluation of Kendra and that Buffy has been trying to help her be a better Slayer. Kind of nice that Kendra isn't falling for Angel either *snicker*.
Loved Spike rooting for Owen in memory of his own past no doubt. Being a voyeur fits and he's already learned a lot about Buffy (and she learned a lot about him thanks to his spilling to her).
Looking forward to where this goes.
Thank you so much for the feedback. I've been trying for a couple years now to get their voices down in this story, so I'm glad they're really coming through. It's fun to write evil!Spike but kinda hard to make the love and romance happen. I'll have the plot set but then I'll go to write it and Spike will do something else entirely, exhibit A being the stalking and the voyeurism. lol
This story is definitely very character-driven, so I'm hoping it'll be a fun ride for all of us.
As for Kendra and Buffy, I'm finding they have a very interesting dynamic. Really, all of Buffy's relationships have changed a lot, and we get to explore that a bit in the next chapter.
Thanks for the comment.
i truly enjoyed the conversations between buffy and spike - still some sass from our buffy, but not the rose-covered-glasses regarding angel and his own high opinion of himself. its so sad that xander and willow were basically doing what angel did - ignore buffy and was just 'in it' for the slayer portion.
ya know, i think it would be interesting for kendra to NOT be lesbian, just not interested in angel or xander - i think it would be a hoot for her to blown over by some cute, interesting quirky guy who could make her relax a bit and smile. someone like oz ... just saying. i can totally picture angel getting his knickers in a twist over kendra not wanting him ... and xander, too ...
as for the physicalness of her relationship with owen - hmmmm.
the cutting ... i can see that happening to this buffy, unfortunately. here's to hoping she gets help. of course, where would she go? and where's joyce in all of this?
looking forward to more of this journey ...
I'm glad you like the Spuffy interactions so far. I wanted them to be in a place in their personal development at the beginning of the story that would allow them to acknowledge the chemistry between them and be somewhat open to seeing where it takes them. As for the Scoobies, Giles, and Angel... well, nothing's ever as simple as it seems, but exactly why they did what they did will have to wait a little while since this is well and truly a Spuffy fic and they both really love their screen time. lol
And fun fact: Kendra actually was going to be either asexual or demisexual when I first started writing this, but then that conversation just Happened and I had to keep it and there were so many fun little things to do with it that I just couldn't help myself.
And as for Owen, I've always been a big supporter of teenagers figuring physical intimacies out in a fun and safe way with someone trustworthy and without all the pressure of having to perform well or trying to be together forever or--conversely--being dumped the next day just for putting out. I wanted Buffy to have a normal(ish) sexual awakening without all the trauma and insecurity she gets in cannon.
We'll get more insight into her cutting and Joyce in the next chapter, which hopefully will be coming in about three weeks or so.
Thanks for the comment.
Wow, this was brilliant. I love the pacing, the perspectives, and the way you’re leading up to their quid pro quo relationship. I’ve never seen a story like this and I’m excited to see where this goes!!
Thank you so much. I'm glad this story is a little unique. I'm late to the fandom and I haven't read anywhere near all the stories there are to be found here and I was worried about treading old ground. I'm glad you like the first person POVs as well. I've been putting a lot of time into making sure their voices really come through.
Thanks for the comment.