First time through.
I'm really enjoying the way you tell stories. You are really doing a fine job at the mystery thing. The exotic pet germaphobe, demon?, is a really interesting idea. I can see why it would be something A slayer needed to know about, but also something that wouldnt' actualy draw her attention. I'm kind of digging Jeff, disgusting as the toe thing was I could see it being a magic thing like Harry Dresden where its not all fancy words and magic energy but physical interactions as well. CSCC is an interesting concept and a way to explain that the world didn't depend solely on girl to keep the world from being swallowed by darkness and monsters. I'm just digging how you're building Cleveland and its hellmouthy activity over all.
The relationship between Faith and Buffy has always interested me. If you use broad strokes then they very similar back stories, baring home life. They both seemed to be called outside of the Watcher's control. They both faced an Old Master level vampire. Their first watchers were killed. Their stories don't really diverge until they come together, which is kind of cool, but after they are separated then you could say they both spent time institutionalized, They are both drawn to the dark in their own manor. At their lowest points they thrived by accepting help from vampires. Not many people develop Buffy and Faith in situations where they aren't wanting them to hook up. That being said I could see them doing that in this story. Maybe not actually hooking up but becoming the person the other leans on. Faith taking on a spike role for Buffy, and holding he while she is hurting. While Buffy takes on an Angel role for Faith, being the one who believes that the woman can be good and encourages Faith to do so.
Speculation aside this story has the makings of a series if you play it right. You have a year's time to get Buffy and Faith to L.A. if you want them to take part in the senior Partners response to the Black Thorn's down fall. Or they could just not know about it and you could get an entire season of development <or how ever you want to think of the story as> before Spike shows up in Cleveland. Then again this is A Spuffy Site so the two have to be the central focus of any story you write, even if they aren't actually together. Which you have going with the whole Spike being tortured in the Dream Memories. And the whole slipping thing Spike does until he becomes all corporeal again could just the times Buffy is dreaming the memories of him.
Story structure. From this point on you're going to have to start either establishing a Cleveland Scooby squad to do the research and investigative parts of the Slayer duties. Or you're going to have to start to have Buffy and Faith developing those skills. They aren't children anymore They can do the book stuff. Then again you do have Jeff already developed and ready to throw at them, along with a demonic hospital. If your not going to stick to the formula of the show and have a mid bad followed by a Big Bad of a season/ story then you're going to have to also put some development into the bad guy section of this one. What you have is intriguing but it still feels like its early days with this story. If I was going to put it in a show format then we would be on episode two, maybe three. The girls have made it to town. You've set up a mystery dream thing with Buffy, and you've got some side character developing. Then you got some Faith stuff happening which brought in more side stuff and some paths for her to go down. This Slayer dream and Braan feels like episode three material were we actually dig into what form Buffy and Faith's Slayer duties might take in the new hellmouth. You've an interesting take so far with the CSCC and the hospital and how Buffy is treated by the demon community. Its certainty a departure from the monster of the week formula the early days of Buffy had. And its not the, oh look we found another dead person lets see what killed it. Style either. Its... honestly like Harry Dresden and Angel where they get called into situations instead of seeking them out. They aren't really running a business but they do have a job they preform. Its kind of an adult accepting responsibility story, or maybe its a joining the adult world kind of story.... Hell it could just be a two hot women solve supernatural crime story. Its early days and I can't wait to see where you take this story.
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Faith and the truck. Love it. So much sexual tension there
I like how both Slayers had dreams that were obviously connected but different. I love that Buffy takes care of Faith and they are truly bonding. I also enjoyed Faith's cheeky flirting.
Braan is an interesting new character. I wonder who they are saving from the vampires?
I look forward to finding out whether Andrew was at all useful in his research, too.
Thanks for the update xx
Yeah, this is how it should have been in the beginning, I think.
Andrew? Useful? We'll see.
Thanks for your review!
Good description of Faith's love for the car, she deserve to have something nice. I do hope that something really bad happens to the woman who sold it though. That's one who deserve suffering.
Buffy and Faith each got their part of the same dream. The scene Faith saw was something that Angelus could have done, but he would have needed to be invited. I do wonder if they will meet a "white lady"?
I like what we saw of Braan. I suppose that the vampires are planning to sell those of his people they have trapped, why else would they have them. It is very enjoyable to see Buffy and Faith planting roots in Cleveland and becoming part of the supernatural community.
Ohhh, sorry for the hella late reply, but you are the first person to come up with a theory about the white lady :)
We have to line up a few more players before we can solve the white lady mystery!
I dont have any plans for the lady that sold Faith the truck though.. hmmm This story doesn't need another tangent :P
Braan is the most cool I was so excited!!
Thanks for your comments!
foreign language dream yodeller - absolutely brilliant, I love it!
Ok, so the whole having to speak to Andrew thing is well written. Poor Faith, suffering to help Buffy!
I can definitely picture Andrew recording the automated phone message. That must make calling the Council just that little bit more excruciating an experience.
You have really captured Andrew's personality here - the way he talks to/thinks about Faith and his duty to help the dark-haired Vampyre Slayer in her mission of redemption. Also the bureaucracy of actually getting anything done within the Watcher's Council is painfully believable.
If there is one thing Andrew can do its make things complicated:-)
I had lots of fun trying to figure out the new councils automated phone system. Of course it would streamline things, but if you put Andrew in charge of something like that you have to put up with the consequences.
Thank you for reading and writing your lovely review!
I am SO sorry that you've had a crappy year thus far. Hope things have started to improve and will continue to get better.
A lovely chapter was well worth the wait.
The love story of Faith and her red truck was sweet and I can just see her adoring it. Love that she could afford it! The poor girl was neglected most of her life and ill-treated by the Council. About time she has a few dreams in reach.
Interesting that Buffy and Faith seem to be getting parts of the Slayer dreams, not the same parts though. Buffy seems to have gotten the end result of the scene Faith got. Horrible thing in both their dreams. A mother having her two children murdered then killing herself is how it seemed. Happened a long while ago. Will be interesting to find out just how this dream fits with giving them needed information. Lovely job with your description.
I love the relationship between the two Slayers now. This is how it should have been!
I love olives and cheese...wonder what my genetics say on that LOL (they're good together too).
LOVE the Quetzalcoatl! Nicely written description. I can't wait to see what's caged. Maybe one of its own kind. What a delightful chracter.
Wonderful how the Slayers no longer go by the old 'if it's not human, kill first and don't ask...' reflexes. They were watchful but not hostile. They waited to see what this birdlike creature was all about and they returned respect for respect. Love this bit of maturity and change in the way they deal with the unknown or different. I also love them calling Clem for information, trusting him to level with them about whether to trust this new entity. Just delightful in all ways and you describe the scene beautifully too.
Look forward to more.
Again, *hugs* and hope things are getting better for you.
They are slowly getting better, we have air conditioning now which is a big help in keeping us sane and letting us sleep through the night.
Cleveland is a new place, with new rules. I think the girls are starting to get in the swing of things!
Love the idea of Buffy heading off with Faith like this, and hopefully having some space to lick her wounds.
Willow diving into Harry Potter and the resulting speculation = awesome.
She was free -- unbridled -- adrenaline and Slayer senses clamouring for her attention, racing up and down her spine, screaming danger and vampire, as they tingled all the way to her groin.
- Deliciousness, I love.
Thank you 💜
Thanks Twinkles!! you're the best!
Cleveland’s best foreign language dream yodeler LOL That sounds SO Faith.
Cool they have that resource.
Andrew certainly gets under everyone's skin doesn't he? I like the character and love the actor but truthfully I have to remind myself that he really did embrace evil as part of the trio. He was okay with the rape of Katrina and even the idea of killing Buffy. It makes more sense for them to keep him at arms length when I remember that.
Glad this (and you) are back.
ugh, the stuff I've been writing recently has, for some reason got a twinge of Andrew to it. It's driving me insane and my brain won't stop doing it!
Thanks so much!
Poor Faith, any phonecall where you have to chose and push a number and then having to chose again is designed to crush your spirit. You always manage to chose wrong somehow and has to start over. Well she did get right here, but still. Then she has to deal with Andrew. It was a perfect Andrew voice, he would say something like that.
Ugh! I totally agree! Automated phone answering systems are the worst.
Thanks for leaving a comment!!
Just have say I very much approve of random Pratchett drop ins. Also excellent chapter!
Ugh! I love it so much!
There are quite a few more coming. Unprophecy has a whole bunch coming up too!
Bro'os talk about germs made me think about the Mayor. Well he's not that extreme, he just want to look clean and neat I suppose. A Cerberus puppy, I can see that it would be valuable but can me dangerous if mummy comes looking.
Really good to see Clem and Georgia. "Who's your friend?" that's a warning question but Clem knew that. It was good for Buffy to be able to speak to them. She could let out a lot of grief and they could eat. Always good to have some extra friends.
There wasn't a lot of character building for him in BtVS so I had to add something to make him a little more interesting. That and I think he would be.
I love Georgie, I hadn't planned for Clem to have a Girlfriend but she just came out of nowhere and wouldn't let go!
Buffy needed that (and Clem and Georgie likely ate well with the emotions she was exuding). She finally is addressing her grief and that's good.
I hate the idea of the Cerebus puppy being hurt. Hope it survives (would make a cool pet for Faith. Wicked looking and formidable but a puppy at heart ... I can see it.).
Bro'os is going to be looking at some revenge once he finds out that Buffy is in his town or so I'd bet at any rate. Hope she makes sushi out of him this time!
Geez! I'm pretty sure you've been reading all my notes!
Thanks for dropping past!
I like Howard. And isn't that great of him, giving Faith a job. Especially because it is the perfect sort of job for her! Hopefully there are no baby livers.
I predict a looming apocalypse. But of course, how would that be in the least bit surprising when Buffy is around?
Who is this big bad?
Did I say I love the idea of the CSCC?
Buffy really must have been bored if she was looking for stuff to clean!
I love research Buffy. She did manage to identify Athena, and calling her the patron saint of Slayers would be accurate.
So Jeff is a supernatural counsellor and there is a fledgeling rehab facility in Cleveland? Interesting.
Hey, aint no better protection you can get than from a slayer! Well...
Of course there is an apocalypse the slayers wouldn't have come otherwise!
The big bad issss a secret, sorry but you will probably be able to figure it out in about 10 chapters or so.
I feel like the mayor may have been the defacto super council in SD before he exploded and the scoobies weren't really involved after that.
Im excited for the fledgling rehab too! I have big plans!
Hmm Teeth working for a Vamp? Is it a new vamp or one we will recognize later? Great chapter. I love Faith's new job it's perfect for her. Poor Faith lol everyone blaming her
Hey! Someone got it!
Vamp is from the Buffyverse, but probably wont be apparent for quite a while. I've not added any clues that anyone could figure out so far. If they do... well that would be majority impressive and also have they been reading my notes?
Yeah, unfortunately its going to keep happening, but Faith is putting herself out there and she's about to make some friends besides Buffy.
I liked Faith's interaction with Howard. He offered her a job, and a perfect one for her too. A supernatural group in the city do make sense. So Buffy found an arm guard with a connection to Athena. I suppose it's possible that it is just an arm guard, but they almost never are😀 I didn't remember someone named Bro'os but I saw your answer to Pfiefferpack and googled him, I remembered his other name though. Interesting to learn about this part of Jeff's job.
It's time for an apocalypse in Cleveland I suppose and Buffy and Faith is here.
Yeah- I was wondering how many people would remember his name from the comics and not from BtVS.. Unless they haven't commented I don't think anyone got it- I'm looking forward to those people who don't look through the comments finding out who he is when he gets confronted by Faith and Buffy in a week or so. :)
Yep! Jeff is a multitalented dude!
Of course! Don't you know the Buffyverse is made entirely of coincidences?
Thanks for your comment!
I love there being a group sort of in control of the "super" population. It would make sense.
I really don't like Bro'os. He isn't a vampire but some other super. His boss lady is a vampire though. Nothing like a big bad with ambitions regarding the Hellmouth.
I love Faith's job. It's perfect for her in every wy.
Athena huh. I have a feeling the arm guard Buffy found may be more than decorative regarding the goddess. Interesting.
Looks like time for the Hellmouth to be an issue and they are there in just the right time.
Things are starting to go into place.
Ohhh I thought more people would recognize his name, I guess not- he isn't a character I've invented, he's Buffyverse canon (shh I didn't say anything though)
Absolutely nothing should get in the way of an ass-kicking good time :) And there is beer!
everything interesting is about to start kicking into high gear!
Thanks for your comments!
I just looked him up. Never knew his name! Ahhh.