Yeah, I bet spike loves cookie dough!!!
He's absolutely down with the cookie dough.
Oh, my God, Buffy! What the actual f**k, you stupid girl!
How can a chapter be both hot and frustrating??
Hot and frustrating... I've had dates like that before....
Brilliantly written, great style, perfectly voiced. Liked Angel in this, and hope he and Cordy are incredibly happy. The re-write of the cookie dough analogy was perfect.
Thank you! I kinda hope the Cangel does well too, far, far away from Buffy. I always thought Spike would have handled the cookie-dough thing much better than Angel did.
Joyce is very wise!! I hope Spike goes over to talk to her and Buffy listens to her!
I wonder what the Initiative is up to. ... hmmmm ....
Nice Chapter!
I may have grown Joyce up a little bit for this story... But then everyone is subtly different from canon.
What an absolutely beautiful chapter with the shadows! I adored that! Such a perfect metaphor, a perfect way for Spike to touch her without touching her, romantic and sensual. And, yes, exactly what Angel should've been doing (among other things)! Again I wonder WTF is wrong with Angel? As long as he's lived and he's never bothered to learn anything about romance, but it's certainly true.
Of course, Buffy still in denial, certainly perfectly in character, even as she stays.
Wonderful, beautiful chapter! Really loved this!
The shadow chapter surprised me. Shifted the tone of the entire piece, actually, I had something very different planned before I wrote it.
Thank you!
I'm actually happy Buffy and Angel are back together. It couldn't end with Buffy cheating. Of course Angel and Cordy (wonderful Cordy!) have to end up together. Loved Dawn suddenly appearing - perfect!
Well, they had to have some time to drive it home that it wasn't going to bloody work. Thank you!
I go offline for a bit and find you've completed this in my absence! I loved Buffy finally getting it, even if she did go down the cookie dough route, at least Spike can steer her right.
Yep, finished the sucker. And hey, I like the cookie dough speech. Cookie dough just meant she wasn't ready for marriage.
I think this is the first time ever I've felt absolute pity for Angel. It's not totally his fault, he needed her and wanted her and didn't think of the consequences, or ways to make it better. Buffy cheated, and I understand why, but I feel so sorry for Angel.
Angel's not exactly blameless, here. He changed the rules after the marriage. The victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage.
Risking Angel to be near Buffy. Risking Buffy to be near Buffy.
Love that! Awesome Lines!
She grabbed him, threw him inside, and had his clothes off before he had time to call her any more names.
Haha! Buffy can deny all she wants, but she just can't seem to keep her hands off that hottie! And then get pissed at him about it! d'oh!
It's really sad that she can't even get herself off in front of Angel ... like, they should've been doing that all along! How is that even a thing? Clearly, Angel is just ... I don't even have a word for it -- not trying? Buffy doesn't even have a vibrator, I assume? Seriously?! I mean, it's good because now Spike can show her what she's been missing, but {{SMH}} Angel, you're a douche!
Good chapter! Lots of good banter with Spike/Finn and Spike/Buffy.
She really can't reject Spike. Not when she's getting what she needs from him.
And they should TOTALLY have been mutually masterbating, oral, dry humping, vibrators, sex machines, SOMETHING. You'd think given her time with Angel Buffy would have respected the sex-bot more. But then, she was only with Angel with the no-sexing for a few months. (It is surprising how few weeks/months she actually was WITH Angel, when you look at canon.) Maybe she didn't have time to think about getting a sex-alternate when she was with him.
Usually his bedroom was kinda off limits these days.
Pffft! Seriously?? Buffy, girl! Open your eyes, honey!
Sex with Angel had made everything fall apart around her. Sex with Spike was making everything fall apart inside her.
AWESOME LINE!
“No,” Buffy said, too quickly. “I’m just… asking for a friend.”
Really good convo between Joyce and Buffy and them talking about the same thing and different things at once. Buffy trying to get some kind of assurance or forgiveness and Joyce not coming up with what Buffy hoped to hear.
Great chapter!
Yeah, it was "too hard" for Angel to snuggle anymore.
Thank you!
“This was a... fight you wanted to be in, right?” Oz asked seriously
Very good Oz voice! I find him very difficult to write, but I thought you did a great job with him. And this is an excellent question!
“You saw everything I saw, Will,” he said
I'm glad Oz is respecting Buffy's wishes, but at the same time sad that he's sort of lying to Willow, or at least not being truthful. Not sure how to feel about that, honestly. But, good idea for Buffy to go there to get showered and change clothes before going home to Angel, that's for sure!
“Nope,” Willow said, with only a trace of sarcasm. “Nothing paternal about that.”
Nope, nothing paternal about that at all! {{eye roll}}
Poor Buffy! She's gonna be all with the guilt now and the denial and maybe hurting and using Spike. She did, at least, notice that he was more attentive to her than to his own needs, and that he gave her things (not just sex) that Angel has been neglecting.
Another excellent chapter!
I'm glad you liked my Oz voice. This is really the first time I've written him, so it was good to hear I landed him okay.
Oz wasn't always truthful. He kept things so close to the vest, and he not only lied about Veruca, he didn't explain about the time he ate the zombie. Maybe he didn't remember, but... with Veruca he proved that he does kind of remember what he does as a wolf, so... In any case, I think he doesn't always share everything he knows.
Thank you!
The first story I wrote had Oz in it for a while and I honestly don't think I ever gave him any lines cos I couldn't for the life of me figure out what he would say! I just wrote him (with lines) for the first time in my current story and I *hope* I got him at least believable. Yours was quite good.
And, yes, you're right that he's never been the most forthcoming person.
“You know. Someone who can do for her what I... can’t.”
What? Seriously? Angel letting someone else screw Buffy? That seems highly likely to end badly!
Whatever Angelus was doing to this poor victim of his, it wasn’t kind.
Wow -- that's kind of creepy! And also kinda true! I mean, Angel's soul isn't the most sparkling diamond ... more like a lump of coal. So, could he actually be punishing Buffy, even on a subconscious level, getting his own rocks off like that instead of in the more literal sense? hmmmm.
Love Spike falling into the 'caretaker' comforting mode -- so very him! And then trying hard not to be that guy at the same time. Although Buffy probably didn't even notice, so caught up was she in her own drama.
Great observation about perhaps she'd never truly come before, too! That's also rather scary in the ... 'WTF, ANGEL?' kinda way. But very possible.
And, of course, 'this never happened'. Buffy loves to live in Egypt and the land of de-Nile around Spike..
Best night of his life. It was official. The only thing better than killing a slayer was fucking one.
And another HOT chapter! Yes, I agree with Spike, fucking one is much more enjoyable than killing them! Especially when it includes our amazingly hot blond bombshell.
Another excellent chapter!
I very much think that Angel's affair with Buffy in canon was entirely selfish, so that was why I wrote it as continuing to be selfish here. Selfish, and evil in its way. Spike, of course, loves fairly selflessly, so of course he instantly fell into a different mode with Buffy. He'd always (I think) loved her, even if it was originally in a "you're going to be MY victim" way. That's also why he could see that Angelus had turned her into a victim, of sorts. He knows how the vampire thinks.
“If I wanted to shag a bag of coathangers, I could find prettier ones.” The sucker girls did not look pleased.
haha! Awesome line!
spun her around in a joyous circle of delight, and then punched her full in the face.
Yay! I think!? 
haha! Yes! Yay!
“So,” he asked. “What now?”
Oh! Good question!!
That was hot! Love how you built it up, how Buffy's mind kept going back to it, and then finally took control of the situation! Very well done! And did I say hot? Cos, yeah! it's a bit warm in here now!
Great chapter!
Yeah, this was the hot chapter I totally wrote this whole story to jam in. (As it were.)
He expressively gestured at the invisible motorists, with sympathy on his face.
Tears were welling in his eyes. He covered his face with the back of his hand, on his knees, trembling with emotion.
LOL! I wonder if William did Shakespeare plays as a human!? Spike's quite the dramatist! Very funny! Loved it! And, they're 'turning the chip down' ? Ooooo! i wonder what THAT means?
She just cried into her pillow and let the misery wash through her.
Oh, poor Buffy! I mean, I can kinda see Angel's side of it, but damn! He has to know that he's just driving a wedge in between them! I mean, get her off, give the woman you supposedly love what she needs, and go in the bathroom and get yourself off and come back and hold her! Right? I mean, that shouldn't induce soul-loss! 
Maybe she could even get him off in other ways other than intercourse and it still not be 'perfectly happy' and it would satisfy them both. It sounds like he's not even trying now.
Great chapter! I laughed and cried.
I doubt Spike was an actor as a human, beyond following rules of propriety, but he sure had to act for Angelus and Darla, so... I sure he knew the drill.
Angel really, really should have been helping Buffy get off, but he just wasn't. What a ponce. Again.
“Do my homework?” Buffy said.
Oh, Angel, you stupid, stupid idiot! 
She stomped on the accelerator, realized she’d forgotten to put the car in reverse after she banged into the workbench at the front of the garage
ROFL! That is so perfectly Buffy! 
“The slightest thought hadn’t even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind,” Spike said with dripping sarcasm.
haha! Never! Nope! Spike would never scheme! But he does read, obviously!
Spike had been trying like hell to make the tracker gun point at Finn’s head
DRAT! Not even a tracker gun!
“What? That’s what you’d like, eh, slayer? Old Angelus not rough enough in the sheets, is he?”
Ooooo! Low blow! So very Spike!
And then, like a bad joke, she realized what the hardness twitching beneath her actually was.
Haha! Buffy, come on now, you aren't that young and innocent anymore! So funny!
If Angel lost his soul again, and she needed back up... there was always Spike.
Oh wow! Devious little Slayer!
Loved the Buffy/Angel and Spike/Finn similarities! Very cleverly done. And the Buffy and Spike 'fight' and taunting had me smiling through the whole thing. Spike may not be able to hit her, but he can still bug the shit out of her, and the thought of his agility in ducking and swiping near her while keeping the chip from going off is a lovely vision!
Nicely done!
Angel is a ponce. Buffy's in a state. My Spike has always been a big reader. Buffy is more innocent than she should be about twitching hard things in people's pants. Thanks!
So, I guess Finn and Spike not so much with the friends! 
Makes sense that they would have something addictive in the blood to keep him coming back. I wonder what all the other experiments they're doing on him are for, though? Hmmm...
Good chapter! Looking forward to more.
Yeah, Finn and Spike... not so friendly. Can't imagine they would be, really.
Interesting idea! I wonder how long Buffy will be perfectly happy without sex? I mean, of course there are other things apart from intercourse that can satisfy, but still. As Angel (in canon) pointed out, one day she will care about it.
I love that Oz stayed tho not pleased that he had a month long affair. That seems rather un-Oz-like, but I hope that he and Willow can make it. As much as I love Tara, I loved Will with Oz just as much.
Sounds like they have Spike leading raiding parties on other demons or something. Hey! Maybe he and Riley are friends! haha! That would be a kick in the ass!
Nice start! Thanks much for sharing!
The idea of Oz having a month-long affair was taken from the shooting scripts, where all the lead-up to the Veruca storyline was supposed to be him more obsessed than he should have been. It was kind of un-Ozlike. It "the wolf" in him that wanted a different mate, which is why it seems out of character, but I didn't pull it from nothing.
Angel and Buffy could be doing things besides sex. But come on, does Angel really seem like the type?
I don't think I could write ANYTHING where Spike and Riley are actually friends. I can't leave canon THAT much!
Glad you see you starting this! Always nice to get a new reader.
It "the wolf" in him that wanted a different mate, which is why it seems out of character, but I didn't pull it from nothing.
Interesting! I guess that would make some sense that the wolf would drive that, even if it was a bit out of character for Oz, especially after the whole Xander/Willow thing. Didn't mean it in a derogatory way at all, just a little surprising. I loved Oz, and clearly he was obsessed on a deep level with Veruca for a while, so not a huge leap to this happening.
Angel and Buffy could be doing things besides sex. But come on, does Angel really seem like the type?
Yeah, not so much. 
I don't think I could write ANYTHING where Spike and Riley are actually friends. I can't leave canon THAT much!
haha! yes, that would be quite a leap!!
Oh, I didn't think you meant it derogatorially, I just thought it was neat that the shooting scripts had so much more for me to work with. I took bits of my story Pet from the shooting scripts, too. Semi-canon shooting scripts can give you so much to work with!
Okay, good! I know sometimes tone doesn't come across in written words, and I hoped you hadn't taken it wrong.
Oh, that's very cool! I never thought of looking at those! I have "Pet" on my list to read, too ... really love the idea of that one, also!
Ooh, Pet's my baby. It's my dark baby, but it's my baby. (And I usually take tone for granted as being positive.)
I am loving the relationship between Joyce and Buffy, it feels so honest and open, and I feel so sorry for Joyce
Buffy really needed someone to be honest with in this situation.
Great story. Thank you for taking the time to write it.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review!
but, the green veins? That has to mean something. I loved this story, it was hard to read at times, like hiding my eyes from a good horror movie. Can't wait to see what you come up with next. Seriously, the green veins gotta be power.
Yeah, the green veins were just Owie. Showing of lingering pain. Maybe they'd mean something, but nothing I had plotted.
I hope I do come up with something next, but either way, thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
Great to see a happy ending for all concerned, I really enjoyed this tale.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed.
Some good Angel and Cordelia time. So Angel is actually planning on using the hotel as a hotel, interesting. It has been clear that Cordelia is the one he feels comfortable with, the one he can talk to. It's more than that though, what he feel for her is if not love, it's the closest thing he can feel. Great to see him wanting Cordelia with him and he is giving her a good position at the hotel. The interaction between these two has been great and has the possibility of something good.
Another great talk is between Buffy and Joyce. Her mother has realised that "normal" will never be enough for Buffy. She has accepted that and is giving Buffy some good advice.
Then of course the talk between Buffy and Spike. The cookie dough analogue is always amusing but there is some truths in it. Loved how Spike used that for some naughty talking, which let to it's natural conclusion. I totally loved how Buffy used the blood like it was chocolate sauce or something. This show us that Buffy enjoys Spike's demon and he is comfortable enough to be the demon with her. She understand the sacrifices he has done in order to be with her and accepts all of him.
This is the best ending in anyone of your stories. Through this we have seen both Buffy and Spike change, adapt and accept each other. They have evolved in such a great way. Thanks to Spike being soulfree they can both become the greatest they can ever be together, no handicap, no chains (unless in play), just perfect.
Well, far be it from me to jam in a plot point at the expense of the narrative. Here, an epilogue just for you, Magnus. "After about two years together they realized things weren't working out as well as they could be, and Spike went off to get his soul. Happily ever after. The end."
Nah, I'm just teasing. Really, this story wasn't about Spike's goodness, or his need or lack thereof for a soul or for anything else. It was about Buffy seeing that she and Angel weren't ultimately compatible, soul or no, and that she had to let it go or live her life under Angel's shadow, a hell of her own choosing, a marriage that was simply not happy. The only way to focus on that in this story was to just let all soul concepts go.
Glad you're happy with this one, though. It's been great to have you following along.
You summed it up really well here and you're right. This story isn't really about Spuffy, it's about the fact that Bangel don't work.
Bad teasing😀 I'm still worried about the other story with a soulfree Spike that you planned to make a sequel to.
Loved it!!!
Thank you!
Beautiful tie up to the story.
Angel is off to LA as he should have all along. Cordy is going to get her shot at him and it will be better for them both (especially since he knows he can act on his urges sexually). He's actually being sweet to her regarding her insecurities. Maybe his talent for not seeing those right in front of him as they are but as he wants them to be will be constructive for a change!
Joyce has figured out that Buffy needs more than just some human guy. She also had a chance to see how Buffy blossomed while she was having her affair. I think she figured out pretty quickly that it was more than sex for both of them. Joyce seems to be okay with Buffy picking things up with Spike again only in the open this time. Having Joyce be okay with them together will go a long way in soothing Buffy's fears.
Buffy isn't wrong (and the cookie dough analogy isn't wrong either). Just because she's not ready to "settle down" immediately doesn't mean she's not ready for them to have a deep relationship. She never seemed to be the kind of girl to date multiple people at the same time she will likely be monogamous by nature. Spike is that way too so it will work out fine for them (just as Oz, Tara, and Willow work well for them). Sooner or later she'll be all baked and be ready for her heart to admit that he's her end game. Until then they can be lovers and friends and partners. One day she'll just notice that without slapping on a name for it they settled down together pretty quickly. He won't push.
I loved every bit of this story. Buffy not being destroyed by that first "love" is a treat. She had time to see the flaws. She had time to see that Angel did not suit her or her needs. He didn't know or love HER. She had time to do what most people do in time regarding those first loves when young (not all but most anyway, some grow together and work out)... get closure and move on. She has a proper perspective regarding Angel and their love.
Loved the organic way that she and Spike came together in spite of her initial reluctance to taking what she truly wanted. Nice that Spike knew all along that she wanted him before she even showed up, she just thought it was too soon.
Very loving and passionate and healthy.
Really enjoyed this story a lot. It's one of my fav's of yours and that's saying something.
Kathleen
edited to add (cause I'm addled tonight): LOVED the blood bag bursting and the image of Buffy having bloody handprints on her nude body then inviting Spike to indulge! Loved the whole aspect of her thoughts and actions that reassure him that she KNOWS what he is and also who he is and accepts him. She appreciates the sacrifices he's already made regarding his nature and isn't asking for more than he can give. Her aversion to him continuing the catch and release is based on jealousy, not moral indignation. Love his reaction to that knowledge too.
Last one! Then I can go back to my pretty line of zeros for unresponded comments.
I wanted to give Cordy what she wanted, and given that Angel was the victim of the affair (if not the victim of the marriage) I figured he deserved at least an open window to happiness, if he can get off his high-horse enough to claim it. I kinda like Cangel. I'm not sure anyone deserves to have to suffer Angel in a romantic relationship, but I DEFINITELY love a good Cangel friendship, and Cordy, after all, has had her terrible behavior in the past, too. (People forget that about Cordy, that she drove at least two people into madness, and dozens of people into tears, with her word-based viciousness.) She and Angel... yeah. It works. She can hold her own against him.
Joyce was always the voice of Buffy's reason in this story, and I used her again for that in this chapter. She wants Buffy to not close herself off from what she wants, and she knows that she's wanted Spike.
I actually liked the cookie dough analogy, personally, and I liked giving Spike the chance to completely rip it out of the bowl and chomp it down. Spike likes cookies. He'd like cookie dough, too.
I'm very glad you liked this story (though personally I feel the end is fairly weak. I don't like doing retellings as much as I like original plotlines.) I wanted to show Buffy turning away from Angel naturally, rather than having "fate" given the blame for their breakup. No, you broke up because you would never have worked. I wanted to show that in detail. And write lots of Spuffy smut, of course, because... a cake needs icing.
Also I'm very glad the blood scene met with your approval! I thought it might be going too far, but you can thank bewildered for saying it wasn't. Odd, when I'll write bloodplay, that I thought that was too far, but... Well. I'm glad her full acceptance of his demonic nature didn't make it too squicky.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading!
Amazing chapter. Great story, sad it's over. Loved it (except for Angel) 💚
Well, who would love Angel? Thanks!
Now that’s what I call a satisfying ending!
Well, they're certainly satisfied by the end! Thank you so much!
Phew, I need a hand fan or a cool glass of water, because the Spike cookie dough speech is haaaaaawt and the blood play, also hot. Hot hot hot.
And also, sweet and such a great ending for such a cool, imaginative but grounded in these characters fic. Superb!
Oh, you liked Spike getting his fingers all into the cookie dough speech? Mm.
Thank you! I'm very, very glad you liked!
Awww. Sad it's over. Great story. Sequel? Also happy for Cordy and Angel.
Thank you! I doubt this story needs a sequel, except for the one I write specifically for those who hate the soul. "After two years Spike and Buffy realized it's not working out as well as it could, and Spike goes and gets a soul anyway. Happy ever after." Mostly I think people can think of their own sequels to this happy ending. Thanks again!
Ahhhhhhh. So satisfying. This has been an excellent ride. I love that Buffy is able to accept her true nature — and Spike's (within reason).
I even like that Angel can go off with Cordelia and have his own adventures, somewhere that isn't near Buffy or her family.
I might be biased, but this was a great explanation for why Angel and Buffy don't work well as a team/couple — without preaching. (Although, if it is preaching, it's to the choir, so we might not notice. 
)
Parading victims around in front of me like they were prom dates
I adore this phrase. He so was.
Hats off for being able to salvage the cookie dough speech into something much better!
Thank you for another sterling addition to the Spuffy lexicon.
I'm glad you've been enjoying the ride.
He totally was parading victims.
I really wanted to show Angel and Buffy just not ultimately being compatible.
Thank you so much!