“I’m not sure I’m inking anything…I mean, doesn’t it have to be fifty-fifty? Don’t you have to like everybody the same to be that? Like, I enjoy both apples and oranges…or apples and bananas…” She huffed. “Don’t I have to like everything in the fruit salad the same?”
This is an excellent way of putting it, comparing it to fruit salad...which it most certainly isn't and doesn't have to be 50/50 despite what many people might think. I think I am 90% into girls and 10% into Spike, grown up Joshua Jackson and Sawyer from Lost. But I don't usually tell people about that 10% because they immediately try to label me something I'm not and fit me into a category I don't feel like I belong to.
She bit her lip. “I’m still worried you’re going to treat me differently, now.”
I remember that fear. It's still there, actually. Especially, when I mean new people.
but that doesn’t mean I never see a picture of a woman in a magazine or whatever and think: ‘she’s cute,’ but before I used to have to try and work it into some complicated platonic thing. And now I don’t. It’s nice. Guys can be cute, girls can be cute.”
I also remember this! Like, how did I convince myself that staring at SMG on the cover of magazines for like...to long was just platonic? lol
I loved this story. I know I read it before and decided to just reread it once I figured that out. I'm gonna add it to my favorites now :-)[Report This]
Really like this fic! I love the exploration into Buffy's sexuality, and the recognition of the fact that you can experience attraction to men and women differently and still be bisexual. I also love how the fic is set at a point when they're past the 'new' stage of their reunion and relationship, but still learning to communicate with and trust each other, and it's done really well. Sweet and full of feelings <3[Report This]
you have no idea how much I needed this story! first, because of this damn covid, I've been in the house for like a year now, and I'm pretty much going crazy sitting home all the time so it was nice to see the world through spuffy eyes (I've been on vacation in madrid and barcelona so it was really nice to "see" those places again). second, this fic is just so NICE to read, I really don't have a better word for it. it gives me all these nice, warm, fuzzy feelings and it's really great to see them in an actual adult relationship[Report This]
I absolutely loved this fic! It was overall super sweet and I had a warm fuzzy feeling when I finished it. I loved the way you handled Buffy’s sexuality. Way better than the comics. And all of Spuffy’s scenes were super adorable and I love how they decided to adopt a bunch of kittens. And their banter was amazing too. Thank you for posting this amazing story![Report This]
I love what you did with their relationship in this story. The good talks they are having, the growth and maturity developing between them, the love and acceptance, give me warm feelings. I like stories like this that show the way to wisdom.
And I enjoyed the travelogue through parts of Spain. I spent Christmas through New Year's in Barcelona (which I do not recommend - almost everything was closed for the holidays) and saw the inside of La Sagrada Familia for the first time. There actually is a chapel/crypt underneath the main floor. There was a little window down low to the ground in the wall of the choir that you could peer into and see down into the chapel/crypt. The little window was in the wall in the northwest part of the ambulatory. I've been all over Barcelona, but have yet to go to the beach there!
And ending in Gibraltar gave you the opportunity to make all those metaphors about the solid rock of their relationship, and looking out over the Atlantic to their unknown future, but like Spike said, they can take their rock with them. Sigh. So nice.
This is exactly was I was going for! I'm so glad it worked for you!
I really had fun working in the travel parts of this story, they're on a journey together, both physically and metaphorically, and it was nice to include a bunch of my favorite places.
I'm so glad you enjoyed and I super appreciate the read and review!! <3
Wonderful chapter. I love the way you portray the way their relationship is growing. That communicating stuff is hard! And it is so normal, and has nothing to do with his being a vampire and her being human. "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it." But they're doing it, building something, and I'm impressed with their maturity, the ability to forgive themselves and each other.
The excitement of the slaying and danger of dying and early lust is a metaphor for the beginning of a relationship, the excitement of the newness and the infatuation phase. Then comes the really hard part: getting to know each other, accepting all the irritating bits, working out how to live together after the honeymoon is over, negotiating what it means to be a couple. So many couples falter in this phase.
Did you write this story based on a personal trip to Spain? I was reliving my visit to Sevilla along with them. We stayed near the Real Alcázar. It was hot in the day, just tourists on the streets during siesta, but at night, when it was cooler, the locals came out an enjoyed their social time in the streets and squares. At midnight, they were eating, drinking, and chatting, and I watched 80-year-old Spanish grandmas dancing to the flamenco guitars from our tiny hotel balcony. To me, it was magical; to them, it was just life.
It occurs to me that Spain is a perfect place for a vampire to live with his human lover. With the long siesta and dinner at 10 pm or later, a vampire could live almost seamlessly with the human society.
Poor Spuffy has so much to work on, or work through, more accurately. And I wanted to show them both maturing, so I'm glad that came through, and they really figuring each other out and who they are, so that they can move forward.
And you're so right! It would totally work...*thinking*...
I love this chapter! I love spuffy stories that incorporate details of place. Yellowb, sandy_s, and Niamh have written some that I read while following our pair around on Google maps through Iceland, New Orleans, and NYC. I have been to those museums in Madrid and was also blown away by Guernica. Pain in paint. I love the idea of Spike and Buffy wandering around in Madrid, doing the things tourists do. I hope Buffy got to have some churros, and that she and Spike had some Spanish hot chocolate to go with the churro at Chocolatería San Ginés.
In general, I disliked Season 8 and most of the other comics seasons, but I like the way you've described the Season 8 events and laughed out loud at Spike's comment:
“Please tell me somebody put on the theme to Benny Hill.”
And then the image of Buffy fighting in her Disney pajamas. Lol.
Spike's continuing insecurity in his relationship with Buffy feels very real. Angel may have done a job on Buffy, but Buffy did a job on Spike.
I absolutely dusted off old travel memories for this fic (though I think I might have been reading something set in Spain as well?)
Guernica is one of my favorite paintings of all time.
I 100% guarantee she got all the goodies! And all the tapas!
Part of this fic was my processing some of S8, which I seriously dislike and want to toss down a well.
Spike is overdramatic here, but it was so much fun to write and he's so good at dramatic 😂
Okay so I was scrolling through your stories. And noticed this was at 99 comments. And it should be like 1000 but since I don’t have that kind of time right now, I am going to at least make this an even 100.
I relate very much to this fic and was so beautifully written. The imagery and themes were so prefect together, much like our couple.
Anyways, I hope you have an awesome day!
Hee! You're so sweet!
I really enjoyed giving Spike and Buffy the room to do all the talking they usually never get around to (at least in my fics)!
This comment really made me smile! Thank you!
Loved it. I always wished Willow had been bi and it works for Buffy. Glad Spike felt more settled to
Thank you! They’re in a much better place then where they started!
Really enjoying this fic and excited to see where it goes. I am sure Buffy isn't going to kick Spike to the curb, I hope he gets more confidence in the relationship. I have read all the comics and enjoy fics set in them and wish there were more of them, but I am sure that puts me in the minority
The vast minority, lol. Though this fic was only tangentially related to the comics. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Brilliant story (as usual from you), I really enjoyed reading about them working out all the fears and being really open with one another at last. A great idea to have them do this on holiday where you get a lot more time to think things through rather than at home where everyday matters tend to get in the way.
This little fic makes up for all the times I've had them say "we need to talk" and then never had room because of pacing ;-) And they really needed to unpack a lot of this baggage with each other. And Spain just seemed like the perfect place for it to happen (I always think Spike would adore showing her the world and seeing it through her eyes). (And I don't think much of anyone wants to be in Cleveland in January ;-) Thank you for the read, review, and kind words!
Love this fic! You did such a beautiful job with the setting in this fic and used it so beautifully to get them talking and really open with one another. There was a quiet intensity to it that I like about trying to work it out and be together Spuffy that I think the comics sometimes missed...maybe by the nature of the medium...and sometimes gets in moments. I feel like you gave us a whole dose of the good stuff! Well done!
Thank you so much sandy!! I'm always pushing off big conversations for pacing in my fics and I was so happy to give Buffy and Spike a chance to talk and work out everything. And you know they probably end up with more than one cat!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!!
I just love reading them be vulnerable with one another... it’s so incredibly sweet and makes my heart full. The image of them in a forbidden part of the church, lighting candles for their moms and being naked in a different way with one another is just lovely. And then, the simple act of her taking his hand has so much more meaning. *happy sigh*
It's a long way from Sunnydale, that's for sure! They're so much more connected now than at the start of the fic (which was such a relief when I was writing!)
This was such a lovely chapter. The visuals on the beach were breathtaking...so symbolic of the emotion welling in Spike. And I love how honest they were all cuddled up in the dark together... interesting take on Faith and Buffy though I don’t see it (the same as I don’t see Spander but can totally see Angel/Spike in the context you gave). But I don’t mind it. I loved how you handled his thoughts about his grandsire. And I’m looking forward to the next chapter.
I went back and watched a lot of S3 and read a lot of meta on it and really...there's no straight explanation for a lot of Buffy and Faith's interactions and a lot of it is very similar to what young women that are confused by their sexuality do while they're still figuring things out (like Faith asking Buffy out and then covering it with "we'll be looking for guys" and that kind of thing). So I actually changed my mind on how I viewed Buffy and Faith's interactions. Had things been a little different in the late 90s, Buffy would have had a more obvious romantic or sexual relationship with Faith.
Spike having been sexually abused or raped by Angel is such a Spuffy fandom trope, but I think Spike's interactions with Angel don't entirely show someone that has that history with Angel, instead, I see Spike as desperate for approval from Angel, in any way or form that he can get it. Sexually would just be another way for him to try. The abusive part for me is that Angel knows this and uses it to his own ends. (And Spike's identity gets really messed up in AtS S5 when Spike essentially wants to BE Angel so that Spike would feel worthy of Buffy. It just kills me).
Thank you for the read and review!
I think in this universe and with season 8, a person could totally lean more that way...and there is subtext (just as there is with a lot of the characters). Which is why I love Buffyverse...you can take it so many directions! Though in my mind, if season eight isn't there, I see Faith being interested and Buffy being curious but not necessarily confused by her sexuality. And this next part is my total personal projection...haha. (At least, I'm aware of it.) But I had girls interested in me in high school and college, and while that was intriguing and I thought about what if(?), I knew that I was straight and was not confused. That's sort of how I read Buffy...intrigued by Faith and her don't-really-care attitude (there's more to it than that, I know) but not necessarily confused about her sexuality. Ahhh...I'm shutting up while I'm ahead. (But then, there was season 8 which I have not read but am trusting your fic to fill me in.)
And I agree with you about Spike being raped by Angelus/Angel...I think the way you describe it here with wanting to fit in and wanting to be connected with Dru in a weird roundabout way makes total sense.
And yeah...you're so right about Angel, season five!
Awww... I love that she comes back for him and drags him out to play tourist and talk some more. They’re taking a vacation but also getting closer with each leg of the journey. I love them being normal couple-y and loving and still snarky!
Spike's doing his best to not feel out, but he much rather be experiencing things with her :-D I enjoyed having an established relationship, but for them finally getting around to all that talking they needed to do!
One of my fave things is Spuffy out of Sunnydale and Spike being tour guide! Love it... their whole conversation about his insecurities was well handled...she can handle what he’s done! She read all about Angel. And I love him coaxing things out of her though holy geez, season eight sounds weirder and weirder... lol. Nice job explaining Buffy’s state of mind...forgive the shortness. Sleep is calling me!
Buffy has so much of the world she needs to see!
S8 is really, really terrible, and I'm only touching on a tiny bit here (the only thing I entirely changed was Willow and Buffy having an actual talk instead of just a few quippy asides) I think Buffy might have her work picked out for her unpacking all of Spike's baggage... ;-)
Awww! I loved the beginning...them all in a fight and Spike catastrophizing! I loved the part where he realized that it wasn’t all about him screwing up and that she was vulnerable, too.
Bummed that they didn’t devour their Chinese food bc I’m super hungry... (and yes, I’m in bed...stupid working out gave me the munchies).
Don’t mind the season 8 at all! Is this how it actually happened in the comic cause what?!? Sleeping Beauty and cinnamon lip gloss?
I laughed out loud when Spike thought he’d be much more upset if Buffy had been with whatever a Japanese guy’s name would be. Lololol! 😂🤣😆 Still laughing!
Lovely start to the fic!
Poor drama-queen Spike, so sure she's about to dump him. He's such a dork!
Now I'm hungry too, uneaten Chinese is a travesty (I'm supposed to be going to sleep, but we bought a new mattress and I can't because it doesn't feel like "my" bed, so I'm laying here too)
Thats exactly how it happened. *glares at Joss* there's a whole Spike fake-out with Ethan Rayne, too. It's terrible.
Spike being honest with himself there, lol.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! :-D
Ooo...what kind of mattress did you get? *wishes for a new mattress*
and what?!! Ethan Rayne fale out? Grrr...autocorrect wants it to be fale out. In any case, season eight sounds lame.
A king sized, sealy posrurpedic hybrid with heat wicking material (we've been putting money aside for 3 years for it. Yay for adulting!) I told my husband we have room for more chihuahuas now. He was not amused, lol.
The fake out was there's a panel at the end of the issue where Buffy's in her dream state with the sleeping beauty spell that has a man in a red shirt and long black coat holding out his hand (you can't see his face) and saying "hello,luv"...only next issue it's Ethan Rayne. Not cool, Joss.
I love when Spike's the reassuring guy. I love when Buffy does the same for him, though it's not as often.
They're both just muddling their way through this and trying to find common ground.
Cool. I like the idea of them getting into these informative talks about their pasts. Buffy could be a little less judgy about Harmony.
Spike saw her as being more judgy than she was, her real problem wasn't him boinking Harm (not that she was thrilled about that, lol)
This story is so beautiful! I love their growing together. The places they visited, too, were fascinating, and add surprise and emotion to the continuing dialogue. Great use of words and characters, as usual...
Spike thanks you very sincerely:
Eeeeee! Thank you so much reluker!! :-D This story means a lot to me even though it's not as flashy as my other ones! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review it!!
Aww! I like talky Buffy and Spike. The Satsu storyline in the comics bugged me with how they handled it. Like Spike, I ended up feeling bad for Satsu.
It's all the talking I'm always saying they need to do and then usually don't have narrative time to have them actually do! The Satsu storyline in the comics is kind of gross. I simply can't believe Buffy would have handled things like that, or that Willow would have behaved like that. So I fixed it a little obliquely, lol. Thanks for the read and review!
Okay so I have been lagging behind on some reviews as I get distracted usually as I can’t seem to review the last chapter (or chapters -as in the case with Cursed) right away for some reason. Like I don’t want to say goodbye by reviewing the last chapter which is dumb as hey I can reread it. Anyways sorry for not reviewing sooner.
Wowie this story was so full of emotion, growth and amazing imagery. Established relationship that is getting stronger by being super honest with themselves and each other - amazing. And not common, so thank you for sharing such a lovley journey with us.
And right away this chapter had me laughing along with Spike at the two beds lol. But of course they couldn’t actually fall in to a content sleep apart. I love that he finally just squeezes into her bed. Aww!
I think you captured Spike's thoughts so well as he’s happy she had fun out in the sun but sad still that he couldn’t walk with her there. And this: “He’d showered and hadn’t bothered with a shirt afterwards, mostly to try and get Buffy to look at him after she’d been out looking at a bunch of other shit all day.” is SO Spike haha. Even as he then considers upping his game to losing his pants. He’s such an adorable dope (who happens to cause us all to drool)!
Willow and Buffy’s conversation was grest and even as Buffy is trying to get out all she’s trying to say I love that Spike is her silent support and how much he wants her to be ok. “Her voice was thin in a way that made something in his chest ache, and he absently rubbed a hand over the spot.” Buffy sure made herself clear when she responds to Willows inquiry about if she’s still with Spike lol. If I had been drinking my coffee as I read that line I might have spit it out laughing too. But I kinda love her being all cute and joking like that. Buffy deserves to be able to be happy like that and I’m glad you give her moments like this. It’s funny how he’s trying to get her attention again by pouncing on her and she’s still ignoring him. But then this happens and makes everything better: “Not planning on being with anyone else,” Buffy said. “I love Spike.” He went all gooey at that, and his growl faded as he bent down and rested his forehead against hers.” Again I say Aww gooey Spike is the best. And I love Willow telling them honestly that she thinks their love is special and wishes for the same someday. I like Spike encouraging her and telling her it will happen (as he nuzzles Buffy ahh love the nuzzling).
Buffy already has a cat on her hands in Spike (maybe more of the jungle cat variety than house cat like they plan to adopt though) but I love their plan to get a cat and how Spike is 100% going to come home with more than one lol. “He figured the ‘uh-hu’ meant he’d won the argument and they could work out specifics later, so he kissed her.”- Spike does have some good ideas lol. All of these moments are so sweet and real and I want to bundle them up forever.
“Buffy was always adorable when she got too turned on to think straight.” Being with Spike - I would imagine this happens ALOT!! Her question to him was interesting, not in the question itself but as Spike said, that she actually asked it. Yay for talking even if it’s holding up something else, because it makes everything they do all the more meaningful. And I’m glad Buffy can see Spike isn’t affected by her revelation (besides being touched that she is so open with him) or that he isn’t going to worry about her looking at girls on the street, just that he has to make sure everybody knows they are together. And I think he’s more than capable of that. Hell he’s going to smirking nonstop at guys and girls that Buffy is choosing to be with him.
Their walk much later is so great and very vivid in all the senses. I love the them being happy and content. “Spike’s heart was full, of Buffy, of love…and for the first time, peace.” Lovely.
“He’d been so terrified of losing her, but that feeling wasn’t there anymore. He might have been tilting at windmills over that as it was. Buffy had figured out her own mind, and heart. And somehow, he’d been the one she’d found there.” Why you make me cry!!!
A very emotionally touching and deeply moving story, that was still hot. You talent for weaving all these aspects together so masterfully is special and very much appreciated!
As always thanks for sharing with us!!
I do this with things too! Like if I don't read the last chapter/watch the last episode (...respond to the last review ;-) then it won't really be over!
This fic was really me letting Spuffy work through the issues I always have them say they need to, then don't have the room in a story for it to happen, so this is me making up for that.
I found a picture when I was researching of a hotel in Gibraltar with the two narrow side-by-side beds and laughed so hard, Spike would be so unimpressed!! (And there was no way he was going to last separated from her).
Spike is content to let Buffy go and do her thing during the day...but he wants her attention when she comes back (which she knows, but can't resist teasing him because the results are always so much fun ;-)
Buffy talking to Willow let me show that they're all in a much healthier place now, one where Willow can be envious of Spuffy's closeness and tease Buffy, and Buffy can feel very comfortable saying how much she loves Spike. Which, for all of them, are pretty huge things. They're comfortable with each other.
Spike is so going to come home with half the cats in the shelter if Buffy doesn't watch him like a hawk. (and he's totally a cat himself, lol)
I really think Spike would just be tickled pink that he won out over an ever wider swath of people. He wants Buffy to *choose* him always :-D
Yes, Spike, she's made up her mind and you just had to figure that out for herself!
Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading my little art-house Spuffy project! I really like how it turned out and am really glad you enjoyed too!
Well I almost got to read it straight through. I think I jinxed myself by announcing my intentions after the first chapter, lol. I should have known better than to tempt fate. Still, I was able to start it one evening and finish it the next, so it had almost the same effect.
I loved how this ended, or more accurately, how it didn't end. Our dynamic duo are in such a good place right now, and no matter what might come up, that is not likely to change. I'd like to think that they are going to take their new-found ability to really communicate back home with them and continue to put it to good use.
Enjoy your marathon writing session - I'm sure that Gort will be thrilled with her binge-ready story. I'll just sit back and remind myself that it will be March before I know it and then Buffy and William and Anne will be back. I'm patient. I can wait... I can wait... Oh wait, I can go re-read Belle South!
Yay! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this one! I really appreciated it and all your thoughts on the story!!
I want to dip a toe in and tell this part of their journey together (which was an actual trip because I'm so not sneaky) but hope it feels like it's just a little piece of their story and that their journey will continue!
(Please reread Belle! It reads much better as an all at once fic than chapter by chapter ;-) And I'm crossing my fingers I can get this story done for Gort!