oh i liked this a lot, very original! cant wait for part two!
Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed the story. I've been wrestling with part two. I like how tight the first part was and part 2 keeps wanting to get wordy and rambling...
Love this story. Hope to see more parts eventually! This Spike feels somewhere between canon and "Yeah, that happened" Spike. Sometimes I felt the show portrayed him as a ditz, harebrained, but he is a skilled predator and seduction is one of his skills. You make Spike/Faith convincing, and you take seriously, and without judgement, the issue of why a smart and skilled vampire and a slayer would be good partners for each other, or at least feed a powerful need. So much of the show was about "wrong" that was, which was really boring a lot of the time, it failed to acknowledge the darkness of the Slayer role, with Buffy craving her "nonfat youghurt" after slaying. Yeah, right.
The interplay between Spike and this junior Watcher Buffy is fascinating.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I really like the way this story began, I like how tight the writing is. I've worked on the next section of it and it turned into a ramble...some interesting things come up, but it's so very different from the first part. I'm kind of torn about how to handle it, the fact that the story turns to a very different setting and focus means that the more open style kind of works, and my thoughts were to let it roll, and then have part three tighten up again.
I guess this is a long way of saying that I'm not done with this story, but I'm wrestling with it. Here's hoping I can find the right voice and pacing in the near future.
This story was amazing! I loved the insite and darker edge of what a Slayer has to put up with mentally that no normal person would be able to get. I can't wait for what part two will bring!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. I've started writing part two, but it's been coming out long and wordy. I really want to keep the story tight, I need to get into the right head space. Here's hoping I'll find it soon. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Excellent. Many fics are about thinking through the implications of material which was treated lightly on the whole in the TV show, but few are as perceptive as this. Really gets to the heart of the matter (pun intended).
Thank you. I'm working on part two of this, but my brain is in novel writing mode so it's not as "tight" as this and I did like the writing style of part one so I'm kind of up in the air about how to handle it. I may just write out a long version then tighten it up, or I may let part two ramble a bit and then change things up again for part three. Tick tock, time will tell.
I especially like the hand-holding bit -- his perfect control.
Also, this Buffy is so brave! Or foolish, I suppose.
Thank you. I liked the hand holding part too, shows that he is a skilled predator. I really want that to come through. In the show, as time went on Spike had to keep reminding people he was evil. In this story Spike is morally ambiguous, but definitely a predator. He's not evil for evil's sake, but he does what he must to survive and he does it well. I do want the readers to be able to respect him, even though he is also delighting somewhat it taunting Buffy and in showing her how ignorant she is. But he is also intrigued by her interest in him. He wants to retain the upper hand, but not to intimidate her so much that she turns tail.
I agree, Buffy is brave, or foolish..both it turns out. Curious about how you'll like the rest.
Thanks for taking the time to review!
Poor Stuart, being peppered with questions! I like that he’s gradually getter no through — Buffy at least knows she doesn’t know.
In the show, we were sort of led to believe that all watchers other than Giles were incompetent or wankers. I wanted to explore a bit how the job of being a watcher played out for basically average well meaning people put in difficult situations. Stuart hasn't got any magic to fall back on. He was once as "green" as Buffy, but clearly they are both good hearted. I didn't care much for how the Watcher's Council was portrayed in the show, and appreciated this opportunity to go deeper.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Oh, this has been sitting on my bookshelf forever. Dynamic start! I completely buy Faith & Spike being a good match, and probably developing feelings eventually if they’d had time...
Can’t wait to see this Buffy!
Glad you're enjoying it! I really enjoyed exploring these versions of the characters. I'm a sucker for Bad Spike! Thanks for taking the time to review!
Insightful perspective change and analysis.. a sequel would be interesting..
Glad you enjoyed this. The plan is for it to be a three parter, so...should be two "sequels" coming at some point. I've kinda loved getting into Spike's head here and looking forward to seeing what's in Buffy's mind now that she's met an actual vampire.
So captivating - I devoured this story and am starving for more. I can hardly wait to see the next installment posted. So, so good!
Thank you so much for letting me know you enjoyed it! Real life has swallowed my writing time lately, but I hope I can pick up the thread and move forward with this one. I love this version of Spike.
Enjoyed this story so much! I love your stories with the darker flavor, and the Spike that is definitely not comic relief. Thank you!
Thanks for reading and reviewing. It's nice to explore all the possibilities in a character and I do love me some Bad Spike...swoons.
A little darker and more realistic version. I like it.
Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I've just started part two, and after writing lighter fare, I realize I need to get back into the nitty gritty and not lose the flavor of this piece. I want to give vampire Spike his due. I really appreciate you letting me know that works for you.
Loved this story! I always love a soulless Spike that is actually evil and remorseless. And Buffy the Spike fangirl is brilliant! I'm really intrigued now, I wonder how she'll manage to get past his evil, now that she's actually seen it (I'm betting she will, though... ).
I even liked the brief Spike/Faith in the beginning, which is usually a major no for me. So, great story! I'm definitely going to read the sequels!
Thanks for reading and taking the time to review. Spike and Faith are usually a no no for me too, but this story just popped into my head, so I decided to write through it and see where it took me!
The sequel is percolating and coming out in dribs and drabs right now. I'm still working out the time frame. Buffy has so many feelings to deal with right now, I'm trying to figure out which one's to grab hold of for the next leg of the story. Her fangirl crush is blown, so now...which direction will it go in, the personal or the clinical? Tick tock, tick tock, and Spike has no reason to stay in Sunnydale.
A big dose of reality is a painful thing....
Yeah, and no sugar to help it go down. It's hard to know what this will do to her and her plans to be a Watcher.
Buffy thought she was ready to deal with this but she had the same human reaction most people might to what had just happened.
Did Spike care? Who knows, when he said he could stay, was he asking to stay? another conundrum.
I'm intrigued and would definitely be up for reading the next part.
Well done xx
When he asked her if she wanted him to stay, I think he exposed something about himself, that he doesn't quite see himself as one of those vampires. He sees she's upset and might want company, then it dawns on him that Duh, HE'S what she's terrorized by, so no, having him around isn't going to make her feel better. There's definitely a disconnect in his mind about who he belongs with and identifies with.
He wanted to show her the truth, but it looks like there's a part of it he's in denial about. He liked being her teacher and didn't think about the consequences of traumatizing her. He sends her back to her people, but where does he have to go? He has no one to go home to.
I guess it's time for me to toddle off and write part two....
I liked your description of how Spike trapped Buffys hands, she is aware she should be afraid but perhaps isn't as much as she should be. I'm not sure I'd be able to prevent myself from snapping at him if he were that rude to me but Buffys doing a good job of keeping her feelings under control.
Excellent chapter x
Good thing she has that script in her head, she can fall back to it whenever he pisses her off or gets her rattled, which clearly he enjoys immensely. Also, she has a healthy level of fear, enough to know that pissing him off too much probably isn't wise. I'm sure that helps her keep a civil tongue. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
wow great story!! cant wait for part two and part three!!
Thank you so much. Glad you liked it!
Like the concept of true dark. Yeah, Spike would know the real "witching hour" when all the dark uglies come out to play.
Yeah Buffy gets a real wake up call with realizing that this is a being that kills humans (not just theoretical or in a historical context) and drinks their blood. I think somehow it was only head knowledge but it's very real between his comment about having been drinking (and knowing what he meant) and the flakes of blood.
Kind of a scary ability that he can put her to sleep like that. I think it unnerved her too. William the Bloody’s world wasn't supposed to be real. It's not only real now but she is on his radar and he made that clear to her. No going back to the days when William the Bloody is a subject in books and anecdotes jotted down by others. He knows who she is and has sniffed around for info on those close to her. She could be found should he choose and that's why he's said what he did.
Spike is all too real now and he is making his world, the world of the supernatural, all too real as well. Yeah staking a vampire is understandable BUT it also is taking a life and Buffy is not prepared for the reaction to that. I think Spike was right and it would have been easier on her to stake the first time something other than a newly risen fledge. If she were being attacked or seeing someone else being attacked she wouldn't have had quite the same feelings.
I like that this experience has made her start to really get some understanding of Faith's life and also about Spike's comment the day before about not caring.
LOVED Spike's story about the bird and about power. Yes, the power of life or death but it's interesting that he has that power in control. Some people feel that power and it causes loss of control but not Spike. It seems he makes the choice on a case by case basis.
Interesting how Buffy thinks back on her attempts to trap a squirrel and realizes she wouldn't have learned the same lesson (and might have just run leaving the squirrel to die in the trap).
Love how it's not just Buffy and Spike getting to know one another but Buffy getting to know herself better too.
“What I have is a life wish; a good fight makes me feel alive.” It was one of the few things that did. Just about any intense experience helped him forget his undead state, but experiences with unpredictability built in did it best. I completely buy this! It's also telling that he WANTS to forget his status, wants to be alive. I think once he loves, actually loves, he'll finally feel alive for the first time since he was turned. That's down the road.
Excellent.
Kathleen
Obviously this includes comments on this and the next chapter. Forgive me but I'm still sleep deprived! I loved both this and the next chapter a LOT. Hope you don't mind a combined comment.
When we meet an interesting new person, I think we often do learn things about ourselves by talking with them. That's part of the fun, but I doubt Buffy thought it was going to be that way with a vampire. Sharing the experience of trying to catch a critter in a trap was unexpected, and she thought she knew what he would do with that bird and he surprised her. Interestingly, what she learned about him, that he had NOT killed the bird, makes him even more frightening and menacing, because he's not a one note Johnny. She can't predict what he will do. Then she also has to face, as you point out, the fact that she wouldn't have known what to do if they caught a squirrel. He's bested her even as a human.
I wonder how much learning that boyhood lesson has helped him as a vampire. Though he does admit to being rather out of control his first few decades.
Buffy has had to make the leap we all do from "I want to be a Dr when I grow up!" to "Med school is really brutal and expensive!". She was studying these fascinating nightmare creatures, and now she's lying in bed beside one and he has human blood on his breath, and he is making her kill things. Wait...that wasn't in the textbook! You can't DO that! I wasn't prepared!
And now, she may not be in danger, but she realizes she's put her loved one's on his radar. There are consequences to her being involved in this world that will affect her friends and family. She has a lot of thinking to do.
Glad you enjoyed it. I'm eager to get to the next section.
Single spacing looks good to me, lol.
I like how Spike isn't giving much away and Buffy isn't pushing him too hard for answers. It looks like he may be more trusting of her that way.
Good chapter x
Thanks for the input on the spacing. So far folks seem satisfied with it.
Buffy is being a reasonably good sport about him not being what she expected. She seems to understand enough about predator/prey and psychology to not get overly rattled by his style of banter and his taunting her. I think the fact that she realized right away that she was no match for him and he has all the power appealed to his pride. On the other hand, she isn't acting helpless either, I think if she had he would have been irritated and probably would have raped and eaten her just to get her out of the way.
Buffy is certainly brave (or naive). Good thing that Spike has a strong amount of curiosity. Xander is also brave. On one hand he DOES find Spike scary but he did also notice that Spike saved him instead of sacrificing him when Faith was attacked.
I like Stuart. He seems like he's better than the average doofus in the Council, more down to earth. He cared about Faith but was under no illusion about what a Slayer should and shouldn't want. The regular wankers clearly have no idea about Master vampires at the very least! Nest? Not Spike.
“You can put us in touch with the vampire.” It was an assumption. ... “It's not like I have his phone number,” Stuart said. LOL Loved the whole exchange between Stuart and the Council investigators.
Spike is playing with Buffy but there is something about her that does more than amuse him. She is quite a combination of innocence and trust but not going totally over to stupid, she intrigues him I think. At his age he has seen a lot. He's not necessarily jaded but this would be a new experience. You can almost see Spike's tongue firmly in cheek as he introduces himself (shorter LOL).
“Run twice and leave a woman to die?” Xander said, meeting Spike's eye. ... “Last time wasn't your fault, and to be fair, I did throw you into that tree. No one could have saved her.” Not even him. Let the Watcherette put that into her notebook. Werewolves--even worse than vampires. Seems Spike has a bit of respect and mercy towards Xander.
Interesting perspective about the difference between enemy and rival. That seems in character for Spike the warrior. His story on how he adopted Spike makes a lot of sense. It's true that even after his initial killing spree with the railroad spike he was still called William the Bloody. So when DID he change his name? This makes sense both in the how and why.
He appreciated Buffy having no terror of him and her desire to play with words. He can tell she's really not realizing the danger she is putting herself into as well. Clearly Stuart is right and Buffy's appearance has bought her entry and protected her for the moment.
Loved this chapter.
Kathleen
As much as Spike claims to not care, he does have a respect of sorts for Stu, and even though he picks on Xander I think he respects that Xander put himself out to help Faith. He appreciates the bravery and even a hint of nobility in those actions. Buffy shows some of that too, albeit, unlike Xander hers' appears to be out of ignorance, or the delusion that she knows more than she does. Well, Spike certainly disabuses her of THAT notion rather quickly.
I can't see him just deciding to make a snack out of Xander at this point. It's not his style, for whatever reason he's ceased to see him in the prey category. I think he hadn't made up his mind about Buffy yet. She looks like she might be a good bit of fun one way or another. She's a welcome distraction, and he's intrigued that she has an interest in him. But I can imagine him at some point thinking she's been fun but now he's hungry and she could satisfy a craving and having his way with her.
I like that Stuart didn't tell Buffy not to go. He told her what he'd do, but he recognizes one, that Spike isn't your average vampire and two, she's studied up on him and she knows more about him than Stu does, and three, well, he didn't kill faith because he found a better use for her...
Lucky for us Spike is enjoying playing with Buffy for the moment.
I'm intrigued by this story and love your idea. I've gotta say I'm glad Spike being with Faith is over, I couldn't help but think how wrong it seemed. It was a means to an end and I'm a big girl, I can get over it, lol!
Good opening chapter x
In a weird way there was a parallel with what Angel had with Kendra (in this story) he had an unconventional relationship with her, that supposedly was just about one thing, and then unexpectedly the Slayer got killed off under each of their noses, and neither was as untouched by the loss as they "should" have been. Seems like a relationship between slayer and vampire always ends up with either the vamp or the Slayer dead. If they don't kill each other, fate intervenes.
Thanks for taking the time to read and review!
It was surreal to experience this with Buffy. She took a walk in Faith's shoes and realized how hard the steps were to take. Faith was only one girl and she couldn't save everyone. To live with that, its such a heavy burden to carry. Really too heavy. No wonder she had that sort of relationship with Spike.
I though the story with Spike and the bird he caught as a child was a nice metaphor about the choices he makes or doesn't make as a vampire.
I don't think Buffy is going to tuck tail and run but I can't blame her if she does.
I can't wait for Part two!!!
When I wrote this I had no idea that Spike was going to take her to see a vampire kill. That part caught me off guard and was really powerful for me, so I'm glad that came through to the reader as well.
I intended for this story to continue on after the vampire hunt, then that happened and Buffy (and I) got derailed. I knew that she wasn't done with vampires or wanting to know more about Spike, but she is surely more conflicted now. Buffy's going to have to come to terms with what she saw and experienced, and Spike no longer has a reason to hang about in Sunnydale so who knows where this will go next? Let's hope my subconscious has a clue!
I really like how you don't let us forget that Spike is a big bad vampire. There are no apologies or excuses, he just is how he is.
His desire to study Buffy seems almost as strong as the desire she has to study him. It seems more predatory right now, a hunter stalking its prey, but its all so interesting.
The backstory about Buffy and how she became a Watcher was neat and it's even more intriguing that Spike is inteested about her past too.
My faborite part thought was what Spike said about having a life wish. I really believe that even in canon Spike fought Slayers for the adrenaline of it. The rush of feeling like he might dust or be trumped. It must make him feel alive.
I loved this!! 
I hope I can continue to keep Spike 100% Spike while letting the rest of the story take its course. That's my aim, not to pretty him up too much or try to manipulate the reader into liking him or convince them that deep down he's just a sweet marshmallow filled cookie. Keep your fingers crossed that I meet my goal.
I wonder if he's interested in Buffy because she's curious about him, and she thinks she knows him. He must be wondering what it is that she's attracted to and wonder if it's really him or some comic book type version of him. What makes a nice normal woman decide to study killers?
Spike has to be good at what he does to have survived this long, so it must get harder and harder to catch a thrill, so yeah, now he's killing Slayers for fun. Maybe he'll try skydiving without a parachute next. Lol.
Oh no, not confusing context wise or concerning the flow of the story. Just confusing emotionally, there were moments where I felt like none of the characters in the story were showing a legit emotion. Just a jumble of negative emotions or something's. It was definitely a different style that was worth the read.
Thanks for clarifying. Spike and Buffy are both being cagey for part of their interaction, that's for sure. Feeling each other out, curious but cautious. Spike says he doesn't care, but he does show some emotional vulnerability in spite of his tough words. I think the one person who was dead honest all the time was Xander.
Have to admit, I was very confused at some points. Thankfully things started to make sense. Really excited to see where you take this. Is Buffy going to be the next slayer called? Is spike going to get involved? ... it was an enjoying read, can't wait for the next parts
If you get a chance, I'm curious as to which parts were confusing. I wrote this in a different style than my usual, so that kind of feedback is a real help to me. Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I'm excited to get to the next parts myself.
I love all your storiesand this one is not an exception , but I feel really conflicted with this one. It's just that I'm not sure I like Buffy being weak (physically) , also without her being a slayer I feel like she doesn't really have that much in common with Spike :S
Buuut the story is really interesting and now I want to know more, so I'm kinda hoping she suddenly becomes a slayer... I know, not possible and not the kind of relationship you're creating in this story...
Anyway it seems like all I do is complain, but I actually bingread the story and loved so don't listen too much to my critics
I love to hear what you think, don't ever hold back. Yeah, Buffy isn't going to be physically stronger or turn into a Slayer. This is Spike's chance to be the strong one and see how it all plays out. Maybe I'm making up for him being chipped, whipped and souled in the series? I guess this one, ultimately, is about what brings people together and what keeps them apart.
And maybe a little about what makes someone want to become a Watcher and what does it take, and what TOLL does it take on their lives and psyches.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Very original plot. Quite intriguing, and an enjoyable read.
Thanks so much! I hope I can keep the pace in parts two and three. I like a challenge.
I like the single space a little better but neither one is displeasing to me.
I really like the "Interview of the Vampire" vibe you have going on between Buffy and Spike. Even though this is an AU, they still bounce off of each other really well.
This almost reads like a documentary and I really like that we are learning about Spike with Buffy.
I'm really enjoying this!!
Glad to hear you're enjoying it and thank you for taking the time to read and review. I haven't let myself explore Spike as a full functioning vampire in most of my other stories, so I wanted to indulge myself (and him) a little.
Also, watching Buffy and other shows that include a lot of killing and violence, I realize how immune I've become. I just go along with the story, watching people and things get killed left and right and accept them as simple plot twists and devices and cease to feel the real impact. So in this one I wanted to take time to feel the impact, where it's not just an innocuous part of the story. I felt like I needed to recalibrate myself to the nitty gritty of vamps, Slayers and Watchers.
Wow. Intense. When I reviewed the previous chapter, I'd seen that this story was "complete," but had forgotten that you'd mentioned 3 parts. I thought she would likely be getting killed. Instead she got reality!
I'd like to think that unconsciously canon Buffy had similar reasons for her relationship with Spike. I mean, obviously that's true, but I never seen it put so succinctly into words.
(And if I bothered to read responses to reviews other than my own, I'd see the S6 parallels are either intentional or otherwise noted! 
)
Yeah, maybe she got a little too much reality. If she goes home to Riley and admits what she did and what happened..well, I can't see that going well. But if she keeps it in, I can't see that going well either. What can we do when we see something we can't unsee? Often we return to the scene of the crime or to the only people who understand--those who saw it with us.
We'll have to see if Buffy picked up any "not caring" skills from Spike during their short time together. 
Intriguing conversations they're having. I wonder why Spike is consenting to them. 
I have a feeling that doesn't bode well for Buffy the Watcher. He can be tricksy!!
I think he likes the attention, and the opportunity to show her up. He loves knocking people down a peg. I wonder if he'll track down the boyfriend she keeps denying having...maybe things don't bode well for Riley...heh heh heh....
That I have no problem with!!
So good! Looking forward to more.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!