This was an utterly beautiful tale. I have always wished for more Joan and Randy time, and you gave us that gift; fabulously so. Never wanted it to end. Perfectly done.
Sorry for the late response! I just discovered your comment when I (even much later...) finally resonded to one on my other story - since I moved my desk into another room I sometimes have internet issues and didn't receive a notification.
Anyway, your comment totally made my day today! 'an utterly beautiful tale' ? Wow, thank you !
I love Joan and Randy (who doesn't?) and always wished for more of them, too, so I just wrote it. I'm happy you liked it!
Thank you for your words!
What a gorgeous story. It's all so tender and emotional, I love it 💙
Thank you 💜💙
Oh, thank you!
It's wonderful to get an unexpected comment after such a long time, and such a great one at that
I'm glad you liked this short little thing too!
Oh, this is sweet. Thank you for sharing this view into what could have been.
Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it!
It's wonderful to get such a nice, and unexpected at that, review!
I'm a sucker for Joan/Randy tales. This is the best I've read!
Oh, wow !
I'm so sorry for replying so late - I had difficulties with my email provider for a few weeks, and thus missed the notification of your review. I was all the more happy about the wonderful surprise to find your high praise today . The best you've read? Really? Thank you so much!!!
I love this story, I read it once on seasonal spuffy and again here when I was looking for more stories from you, you should really write more stories, this and melting fire are both great :)
Thank you! Such a wonderful surprise ! And you read it twice already - wow!
Thank you for your words, about this *and* Melting Fire!!
I so love this developpement, especially the chip removal.
would like to see more of this, a sequel ?
Thank you, I'm happy you liked it!
A sequel? Probably not. Though I feel honored to be asked for it :)
That was thoroughly original and thoroughly brilliant!
Your words make my day each time I stare at them
I'm so relieved you liked it, you have no idea! You told me once you'd read everything I wrote, and I am so, so glad I didn't disappoint you!
Thank you so, so much for your words!
(And sorry for the reply taking so long, RL was too busy for anything me-related...)
What a great outcome for Tabula Rasa. Nice story.
I've always wished it had lasted a little longer for Buffy to make new and diffrerent experiences with Spike to remember when she came back to reality again.
I'm glad youz liked it! Thank you for your kind review
This was great. They were able to get away and have a new life as new persons. They got to know each other as these persons and the feelings evolved. It was so good seeing them hold each other. I also liked how they tested the vampires before they killed them so they wouldn't kill a good one. It was something calm and good over their life, until the memories returned. I'm glad to see that the time they spent together and the memories from that time made a difference. Buffy understood that Spike had changed. It was great that she gave him his free will back. No chip, no soul, nothing that holds him back, now they can have a truly great relationship.
You put a huge smile on my face, Magnus! I'm so glad that I finally could make you happy!
And as always I love what you said! I especially adored this: - It was something calm and good over their life. That was exactly what I felt, and I think it's exactly what they needed!
I'm glad to see that the time they spent together and the memories from that time made a difference. - they made all the difference in the world! Living without the bagage of their pasts took away the persons they had been shaped into by their lives and left them with their essence. The persons they then developed into were formed by their lives lived together, as trusted friends first and as a loving couple later. Of course it makes a difference to have these persons still inside them; these memories, and with them the new personas, don't go away with the spell breaking! How could she not trust him now, knowing that because Joan is still there, too?
This is, despite being all for the soul, one of the few scenarios where I can imagine Spike not needing it. That I made you happy alone was worth to write this!
Aw, there's lovely.
I love Joan and Randy together and frequently wish they'd spent longer under that spell together... likewise Giles and Anya..
'I love Joan and Randy together and frequently wish they'd spent longer under that spell together' - me too! Being Joan could've had such a healing effect on Buffy and opened her eyes to who Spike really is (as much as it could've showed him who he really is, without the persona he formed long ago!)!
I love Giles and Anya in TR, but I'm not so sure I would want to see them together for real , also I'm more of a Giles/Joyce gal. But maybe I just have to read the right fic to get a taste for it
Thank you so much for the swooney :) and for your as always great review!
I'm glad to see this story posted here on EF too now! You already know what I think about this story, but the feeling really struck me now how BtVS and especially all things Spuffy related inspires to "what ifs". Canon is full of scenes where people make the wrong choices or neglect to really see others or even listen as they could have and give people a chance to show other sides - all very human and realistic but apparently causing a big ache in many to somehow back the tape. Starting over with no memories is one way of getting (and taking) a chance to see the other for who they really are, and it is a chance to for both of them also be someone else. A lot of things we do come from habit and a feeling that we have to keep to the path we're already on. Given the chance to really follow one's heart, I think many would end up slightly different.
Seen how Buffy now could be sure that Spike meant all that he said about changing, it is completely natural that she would want him to really have access to his free will.
Not that you haven't told me all kind of wonderful things about this already - you upped the ante once more!
You're so right! All those questionable decisions and so often due to not looking deeper, not listen more closely! That and the brilliant acting that really invite to explore what people think to have seen, what they think the characters haven't, and have them act differently!
'Seen how Buffy now could be sure that Spike meant all that he said about changing, it is completely natural that she would want him to really have access to his free will.' - We are what we are through the experiences that shaped us. Strip them away, we are completely blank except for the essence that made us develop like we did by these experiences, ready to be formed by new events without the former bagage. This is what makes amnesia stories like TR so fascinating.
Buffy has seen the essence of Spike, had a huge part in shaping him anew. Even with his memory back this new part wouldn't be lost. It's not like Angelus losing his soul. It was real and came from inside him. I tried to show that it wouldn't be lost by his behaviour after the memories came back. He says he isn't him, but that's not completely true. Randy isn't gone, and Buffy knows it, because Joan isn't gone either.
Thank you so much for your thoughts provoking words, again!!!
You had me really worried there for a minute! I was certain she was going to leave him and go back to Sunnyhell without him! Or dust him!
Nah. Never dust him. And not leave him either with only a few hundred words left. (Plus, I had the working through her problems until she sees clearly already :) )
I'm happy ending gal, I guess...
Thank you so much for your emotional, relief dripping review, ginar369!
Some things are just meant to be and all the magic in the world can't stop them! This was a really nice take on a familiar story. Thanks for sharing!
'Some things are just meant to be and all the magic in the world can't stop them! ' - that's all kinds of romantic :)
Not a familiar story for me, though. I've never read any Joan and Randy stories. Today I finally found some thanks to google...
I'm so happy you liked it! Thanks for your words!
I have a friend who's a Jandy fan and I sent her right over to read this! There isn't enough fan fic about this sweet iteration of Spuffy!
Thanks for the pimpage :)
Well, I only found three, one of it the apparently well-known 'Ballad', which I have already heard of several times, but never read. Maybe your friend, as a fan, can point me to more?
This is just beautiful! I'm so glad Buffy clearly thought about their time together not only what was done but what was said. She knows Spike has changed, does not want to kill people because someone out there would miss them if he did. She trusts him.
The poem about mother's clearly reminded Buffy's subconscious of her mother just as Spike's dreams were of Buffy dying. The mind is an interesting thing. The most powerful memories still were lurking about there and popping up in their dreams.
I love that she felt a pull toward Dawn, a bit of hesitation in leaving her behind yet not enough to stay. She had NO problem leaving the rest behind and that says SO much.
Really loved this story.
I think they experienced something so very different from their old lives together for such a long time - saw each other for months how they would be without having to live through their pasts and being shaped by it - that they couldn't un-see it when their memories came back. That's so different from the pain Buffy had to feel after the brief relief in TR. The pain will be there, too, I guess, but she had time to heal. With the vampire who turned out to be Spike. She knows she can trus him.
You know that I'm a soul defender, but this is one of the very few scenarios where I can see them living happily together without it. Because Spike too had the oportunity to see himself in a different light, as the noble vampire he always had some of in him (thus still loving his mother, for example). Having lived as this noble vampire surely would open his eyes to his hidden parts.
'The mind is an interesting thing. The most powerful memories still were lurking about there and popping up in their dreams.' - You caught what I had in mind regarding their dreams very well! I think it would be different if the amnesia was the result of an accident; but this is because of a spell, and I think the human subconsciousness can be stronger than that.
'She had NO problem leaving the rest behind and that says SO much.' - I think even though she always loved the others, at this time they were more of a burden to her than anything else. Dawn is her sister. That's different. You're right, it's telling that she can leave them behind without a glance back.
I'm so happy that you liked this story, Kathleen! Thank you so, so much for your wonderful review, as always!!! It means so much to me what you think!
And thank you again for featuring MF! That was what startled me out of my lazyness (which was much more of a stressful busy-ness...) and finally post this here.
I love your writing. This was such a gentle, healing story. How sweet it would have been, if Tabula Rasa had gone this way instead. Thanks for sharing.
(this smiley is by far not crimson enough...)
'love your writing' - says the woman who is a word wizzard!
A gentle, healing story - wow, that's a wonderful way to put it and a wonderful compliment! And it kind of is what I think happened here, to Buffy mostly - she had time to heal, without the burden of the past. Even with it coming back it couldn't have the same impact as before because of what they experienced together.
Thank you so much for your words, I'm so, so happy you like it!
*happy sigh* This is was so adorable, what a wonderful "what if." I love Joan and Randy. And I am super impressed that English is not your first language; beautiful story.
Your review was the last thing I saw last night - I went to sleep happy!
As for my English - I have a wonderful beta !
Thank you so much for your words!!!
I'm so glad :)