The touch of self reproach and lack of feeling worthy all mixed in with the love and want to give happiness that Spike mulls over here makes for quite a cocktail. Also the banner is just lovely. Thanks for the ficlet!
I think I probably need to reupload all my banners *facepalm* thanks, photobucket! You wouldn't credit how long that banner took me, but I was pleased with the end result so I'm happy you liked it. AND the story, of course. The first Spuffy story I ever wrote, but it might still be my favourite. Thank you!
This was lovely. I'm so glad it popped up on the home page. :)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was the first Spuffy I ever wrote and remains one of my favourites, so it makes me happy others like it too
This was gorgeous, insightful writing!
Wonderful premise to show the internal musings of Spike's thoughts the night he held Buffy in his arms during Touched. That was an incredibly important and special night for Spike.
I love how you wrote Spike, forever and always a poet, his thoughts soft, lyrical, and full of gentle musings for his beloved Slayer. I truly understand now why he chose to sacrifice himself to help "the girl" that he loves so selflessly.
I loved this!
what a lovely review! This totally made my morning, you know
Strange to say, I actually started this story before I watched Touched; I had this image in my head of Spike watching S7 Buffy and in his mind thinking back to S2 Buffy, and it wouldn't leave me alone so I wrote a few paragraphs without really knowing where it fit in the grand scheme of things. Then I saw Touched for the first time and went ohhhhhhhh, now I have a place for this to live.
I love that we know Spike is a poet, it gives so much leeway to wax lyrical in his head, and it makes so much sense for his character. I think even before the soul, and even when he was trying to hide it, Spike had the heart of a poet and a romantic. It's a lovely, contrary juxtaposition on the whole punk rocker exterior It's really satisfying to dig down into that side of him.
I'm delighted you enjoyed the story so much, and thanks for letting me know
Beautifully written! Spike’s characterization is perfect and I loved his thoughts.
Thank you! I always imagine he must have had a lot on his mind that night. His evident surprise that Buffy wanted to be held by him is sweet and heartbreaking.
This was not only bloody good it was totally lyrical!
You stepped into his mind at that point in time perfectly and didn't miss a nuance. It is so easy to understand why he was willing to burn in the hellmouth, ,why he didn't ask for more.
What's funny about this story is that it didn't start as a Touched story - I hadn't even seen the episode when I started it. It started from a gifset of that moment in School Hard that I saw as I was watching the end of S7. Seeing the way Spike watched Buffy in that first ever moment compared to the relationship they had formed during S7 (which was absolutely taking me apart pretty much every episode) was so fascinating to me, and my muse went "Ohhhhhh..." I scribbled down a few paragraphs of Spike seeing Buffy then versus now, and I wasn't sure of the situation of the 'now', I just knew it would be different, regardless of what they were doing, and I couldn't not write it.
And then I watched Touched, and that little speech of Spike's, and that moment of intense vulnerability from Buffy... and then I knew that was the home for those paragraphs, and wrote the rest of the story. It's funny how a story that ended up being so specific to that moment started before I'd even seen it. My muse is weird! (Also, I LOVE S7 SPUFFY SO MUCH!)
Thank you for the lovely review, which gave me the warm fuzzies :D