Lol... What can one say about this story?... 🤔 MORE PLEASE!!!
I enjoyed your story and the creativity of it. It was like an everlasting gobstopper of yummy goodness.
Thank you for sharing
Thank you very much for reading. I was trying to take Spuffy down to their core, and it seems like people think I succeeded. I'm so glad you liked!
Oh my goodness, I didn’t that was a typo I’m so sorry! I didn’t even realize I commented by accident until I saw your reply! I have been tearing through your work since this weekend, and I started with your season 6 and I have to say, I am both torn apart and made whole with your writing. It is so absolutely beautiful, so perfectly Buffy and Spike. I think about it all day even when I’m not reading! You have power as a writer, and I can’t decide if I should move on to a bit more fluffy of your works to survive or just keep on some type of order, but that’s Season 6 for you! Haha thank you so much for sharing your wonderful talent with us! Wow!
It's okay, I just always reply to any comment I get so I have my pretty line of zeros down my comment list. I'm a completionist. I'm so glad to see my work is worth tearing into! Season six was powerful, and I always try to catch that with my fics, rather than just "fix it" but to embrace it, feel it, even feel the pain of it. All my canon compliant and post season fic does work as a cohesive whole (for the most part) but none of them require any previous reading to make sense of. I like to keep my stories easy to digest, and so I tend to leave things in-text and complete unto themselves. Thank you so much! These comments really mean the world.
Amazing story !! Great writing. Really captured the characters even when they were playing different characters
Thank you! I was trying for some diverse experiences. Glad you liked!
WHEW! You are a master.
I literally don't know what else to say. Um, I need to shower now? And reassess my attempts at writing.
Beautifully, agonizingly, done.
*offers a towel for the shower*
Oh, don't let anything stop you from writing! Writing is a gift, it helps even out one's own head, please write!
Thank you so much, I'm glad this story resonated with you.
I have to comment on this fic of yours too. This one was just so deliciously hot. I love the switching of power dynamics. And how sometimes who actually has the power can change with one line of dialog. I love how every role they play reveals something about how they see themselves and the other person. I really enjoyed the buffybot chapter. There was a bunch of switching between it's pronouns and she pronouns for Buffy/the bot and I was wondering if what pronouns you used at each point was always a deliberate choice or you just went with the flow. That chapter also has my favorite line of dialog " I am having sex with you". Honestly that was so hot I gasped. As someone who feels a sexual power dynamic is hotter then "normal" sex it feels like this was written for me. And I love a broad definition of sex. In the queer kink circles I'm in there's so many incredibly different definitions of what is and isn't sex and I never know which of my kink experiences are supposedly "sex enough" to count so I'm fully with spike here. That is sex. And oh god has the pandemic made me horny.
Thank you! I was trying to strip them down to where they were at their core, layer by layer, starting with default setting — cheerleader, poet — and taking them through other aspects of their personality until Spike is in a place where he admits he wants to be better, and Buffy can admit she loves him. And then of course I tear the whole tottering edifice down with one word. Because I’m evil.
The Buffybot chapter, the “she” and the “its” was based on how deep Buffy was in the role playing. Remember she’s not an actress, certainly not a method actress, so she rose in and out of character and really struggled with that role. It was wholly unlike her, which is why that one in particular wavers a lit.
I’m glad the concept of broadening the definition of sex resonated with you. Yeah... the pandemic has made me a little randy myself, and I have a live-in partner. It’s a complicated time. I’m glad this story gave you a little escape!
So. I remember reading elsewhere in your fics that some of the stuff they did was illegal. I'm wondering what's illegal in sex....would you clarify, please?
Well, public sex is technically illegal. As was sodomy in several states -- I know that was true in the early 2000's, I don't know how many of those states have reformed their laws. Do I believe those things should be illegal? Consensual sodomy, no. Public sex, I think if there's a way to make that consensual to the voyeur -- so semi-public sex -- that could be under good regulation.
My, my, there were no limits to Spike and Buffy's affair, were they? Their relationship was destructive, toxic, violent, at least in the beginning, but then, because they have seen each other at their best as well as their worst, out of those ashes came something powerful, beautiful and eternal. At least, that's waht I like to think. I think they can grow to become extremely healthy and well-suited for each other. I think they did by season 7. I think they have. Nobody could every know or understand them like they do. They worked through so many stages of bad as well as good, that the foundation is strong now.
Wow, this was intense and deep. I need to take a break here before reading on, I admit. I really admire how you can strip down the characters psychologically And physically At the same time! Gods, this is very good, thank you for writing.
I get needing a break — this chapter was a tough one — but the next one is comparatively light. This function of this story is to take them both down psychologically to their core — start with a reset of Buffy the cheerleader and Spike the poet, move the power structure to Buffy in charge, then Spike in charge, and then... well, the rest tears them down even further.
Ah, nothing makes me quite as heart-sad as season 6, and mixed with that perfect poetry and the fantasy that will not quite take them away from reality, one of the more poignant smut I've read in a while. Seems fitting for season 6, that's for sure! Lovely work, I'm glad I found this (while it also jabs into my heart). Thank you for posting!
Oh, this story is season six all the way. All the beauty, the pathos, the hunger. And in this case, poetry! This story was my attempt at dark erotica, and I’m glad it caught you.
I've read this fic a number of times now and it always packs a wallop. I love that you seem more interested in unpicking emotions and motivations than in mere titillation. Poor Spike, poor Buffy. So perfectly evokes the misery and confusion of Season 6 Spuffy.
Oh, yes, this story can be a gut punch. I carefully wrote it to take Buffy and Spike down to their core, and then totally rend it asunder. Thank you! I'm proud to see you rereading.
Thank you so much for all your amazing fics 💜💜💜
Immortal and Pet are definite top favourites of mine, so with nothing in the reading queue I thought I'd give your short fics a glance. I usually avoid anything under 50k words or so because it's just not enough, but man, your shortest stories are exquisite 😍 Can't believe I waited so long. They read so true to canon and character, tear out my heartstrings in just the right way and flesh out canonical events so satisfyingly.
I left this story for last because it didn't really sound like my kind of thing from the sypnosis. But oh how wrong I was! It's my favourite lol. Everything hot, dark and violent, everything sweet, tender and loving, heartbreak and hope all bundled up together into a story I couldn't put down until I finished it after midnight.
So thank you for so many perfect hours devouring your writing, I'm off to reread it 💙
Thank you! I worked really hard on finding themes for my shorts, and even my novellas (like this one) that encapsulate a thought and make it complete and easily digestible. It's really nice to hear someone enjoyed them!
This is a difficult story, starting light and going to dark, and I'm glad it caught you. Thank you so much for telling me!
Holy cow.... that was.... I cried! Poor Spike. I can see this as a cut scene. The way she used his love... I know she's suffering herself, but she makes him hurt just as much as she does, just to alleviate a bit of her own.
Well done! This is so good!
Yeah, this is a sad one, or ends on a sad note. I try real hard to keep my stuff able to sneak seamlessly into canon. Thank you!
Wow, my poor Spuffy heart is crushed but what an amazing story nonetheless. Nothing quite gives me the feels like season 6 angst.
Yeah, this one does end in a harsh place, but, you know... Season six. If it helps, I wrote Attainathon sort of as an answer to this one. This, the question, Attainathon, the answer, as all that connection gets to a good place in the end. Thanks for reading!
Well that was heartbreaking. There are moments I really really hated Buffy. Both on screen and here. Every time she broke Spike's heart I wanted to bitchslap her. 💔💔💔 I was going to read through your whole series but I don't think I'm emotionally prepared for the last one. Good writing, nice way to add to canon but now I need something fluffy. 😋
If it helps, I wrote Attainathon after this one as a sort of healing balm for the long slow hell I created in Connecting. This one does end on a low note, but... season six! I mean.... Anyway, yeah, I reccomend Attainathon. My "series" are just my canon-compliment stories grouped into seasons, and so not really a "series" as other writers do them. Sorry about the heart break!
No need to be sorry, good addition to canon. I'll go check out Attainathon. 🙂
No need to be sorry, good addition to canon. I'll go check out Attainathon. 🙂
I don't think i ever reviewed this! I really like this fic. I really like how it starts off kinda light and smutty... then suddenly gets really real.
Yeah, the heat and the passion slowly draw them down to reality... until the reality crushes them and they both rubberband back into pain. Thanks for the review!
Did I review this before? I have this story in my ibooks app, but I think I read it before I started leaving reviews, so here I am to fix that omission. I will definitely be rereading this (probably someday when I feel I need a really good cry), and would then be able to leave a more detailed review; at this point, I will just leave what I added as a note at the end of my epub version, should I ever be looking through my library for something I had flagged as particularly compelling:
Oh, yes, this can be a hard one, particularly since it goes so deep, and gets so close, and then you can see it just... thrown away. "Gutted" is a very good description! Thanks so much for the review!
It refreshed and lost all of my quotes - stupid chromebook so I can't list all of the things that I liked but basically I thought that it was one of the saddest yet oddly touching things that I have read. You are very talented and to be fair there was a warning but it still made me cry.
Yeah, this story got dark and sad fairly quickly. But, you know, chapters 1,2,4, and the first half of six were all very sweet! The others... well. It's season six.
"Queen Fi of the Poorly-Researched-Caliphate." I love it already! :D
"(whose name she couldn’t remember just now." Who could with Spike around?
"King Cardboard" Tee hee hee!!! :D
"He was strong. So much stronger than her stupid ex – sovereign" I love the way that they two stories mix in together. Brilliantly done, feels natural although I'm sure that it must have taken a lot of planning.
Great work. :)
I myself am particularly fond of the Poorly-Researched-Caliphate. Thanks!
Aaaaand you broke my heart. I'm going to go cry in the corner with all of my feels.
But there was that moment there! That moment of honesty! Before, you know, it all fell down around his ears.... Uh... sorry?
It's okay. it was too beautiful to hate and too honest not to love.
This is their most broken selves down to their most deepest core. it was.... there are not enough words for what it was.
Then she said Randy.... and the shift the chance to italics to show it was over. so sharp, so suddenly , so braking. and it was. it was just who there were at that time: broken.
And they both recognize that they are broken, and Buffy apologies for it, and Spike wishes that he hadn't done this, and the last line. the quiet hope that it doesn't have to be like this.
I guess it really was just the perfect end to the story. two broken people almost, but just not able to connect.
Thanks for the hug
Oh. my. god.
This chapter. this chapter.
I have been away for a while and this was the perfect thing to come back to.
The turns this took was so amazing and mind blowing. first, love it was more of spike's pov. second, I thought it would be more of a look at why Spike got turned. what dress him to the evil. then the hitting started and I thought she was mad at Dru, then I thought it was about she letting Spike touch her and her o we n fall from heaven.
But I never saw the connection to Angel till Spike was halfway finished talking, it hit me like a ton of bricks and felt so obvious I couldn't belive that it took me (and spike) so long to figure it out.
The ending was so beautiful, showing her that her love could purify and the bring out good. it really was what she needed. just...wow.
ALso, love the shout out to Effulgence. just the perfect name for an Angel!Buffy
I took the title Effulgence from Diana Wynne Jones's Dogsbody, which was the honorific applied to the star gods. It seemed perfect, given William's joy in the word. This was the center of the whole piece, slowly getting Buffy (and Spike for that matter) to this place where she's completely raw inside. It is in turn building up to the purity of the last chapter which... is AWESOME until just at the end there.
I am so, so glad you enjoyed this piece. This was a tough chapter to write, I'm so glad it hit the way I wanted it to! Thank you!
I've always found it so interesting, and an insight into the core of who Spike is even without a soul, that without his memory he assumes he's a good vampire and has a soul, then you have Angel who, despite actually having a soul, when he loses his memory assumes he's evil.
I love that you went with Joan and Randy for this I love Spike and Buffy, but I think I might love Joan and Randy even more.
oh lord randy reacting to being told he's a hottie hold me
"It came so easily. He kissed her, and she opened beneath him like a flower, no resistance, no demand, just... they fit together, like matching puzzle pieces. He slid inside her, and she slid around him, and it was so exactly what he was thinking that he didn’t even notice at first when she said, “Welcome home.”
When he realized he’d actually heard that, and not just felt it, he looked down upon Joan. He couldn’t think what to say. Maybe, he realized, not saying anything was more important now."
*foetal position, distressed whale noises*
"It was exactly what he’d wanted.
He wished he’d never asked."
*more distressed whale noises*
“I tried,” he managed to say.
“I know. But I’m not very good at this sort of thing.” She swallowed. “I’m sorry, William.”
God, they're both so broken. Okay, I'm gonna go curl in a corner and cry now.
I don't know if it was you, or someone else, but I've gotten distressed whale noises from my stories before...
And this was the image I had when I started this fic. Basically taking Buffy so deep down that she admits how she feels... before taking it away again. "I love you... but only in this game." She just can't face the reality of it, but the truth in the lie IS true.
You gotta love Randy and Joan...