Well, I liked the story thus far, and I have to admit the following at the very beginning of this interesting tale Boy is Dawn being foolish to engage in witchcraft; by the way, what in the world got her interested in that kind of nonsense in the first place? I really do want to know how she went so off-track as to join the First's gang of criminals to begin with.
Loved the story thus far, though, completely and utterly, and I hope to enjoy it for a long time into the future, but not her *behavior*, better termed "misbehavior" for that's what it is.
I like the tale a lot, merely not all of Dawn's conduct, same with Kennedy and Willow's conduct; but that's part of the reason I like the series: to bring me to separate in my mind the person from their conduct.
I do hope to read the whole thing, and I personally hope that if you come up with further ideas that you'll put them down in the story, believe me... and I liked the coverart to this too, when it was up.
Sincerely; loved the story, despite the horrible misbehavior of the characters, and I do know that you're not the only one who's made Dawn an apprentice witch, so I'm not yelling at you at all.
Sincerely one of your hopefully entirely too many fans;
I'm so excited to read the next installment! And I get what happened now with Dawn... Though I feel that whatever cut her was laced with something... They were both acting weird. Not that they could have acted any differently. Hopefully they can fix Spike and get him out of the amulet. Also hopefully Buffy can ignore the immortal long enough to get him removed... Totally love this!
Hello, Kaylee, and thank you for all your lovely reviews! My life has been a bit cray-cray recently, so sorry for the late response - I've only just now noticed you left them. How perceptive of me.
Truth to tell, I'm planning to do some rewrites on this story after the RL stuff eases up a bit, so there might not be an update for some more, er, time. I kinda feel that because initially I didn't do any planning, some of the plots got away from me, and some stuff's just plain too weird to leave it in. Anyway, what I want to do is reassure you - and anyone else who's reading - that this story ain't moving to the permanent WIP limbo. Just... evolving. Hopefully into a neat butterfly.
That said, thanks again. I have 7 exams this week (4 today!) and you have no idea how much your kind words brightened my day. :)
Your story definitely deserves praise! I'll be anxiously (and patiently) awaiting any rewrites or new chapters... And hang in there, exams are awful. Fanning good thoughts your way!
Yay manipulative Dawn! You work it girl... She better try to communicate with Spike soon because she is totally missing something. I love that she has all the control but none of the info. It makes me want to punch her and cheer for her all at once...[Report This]
Wouldn't she realize that Spike IS evil? That would be the first thing I thought of! And everyone's blasé towards Dawn is getting on my nerves... Even though Dawn is probably missing important things, I'm glad she is taking destiny in her own hands...[Report This]
Dawn is hilarious! I love her and Spike's interaction and that Dawn still stays upbeat even though her life is sort of falling apart. Can't figure out why she still goes to school though. I would have just been skipping at that point. Seriously can't stop reading...[Report This]
When I saw the word Satan I seriously chortled. Hopefully Spike isn't in hell, not after all he did! But if he is hopefully Dawn can rescue him or something... Dawn had better find something sturdier to see the letters through... 2 for 2 isn't good.[Report This]
You make Dawn so awesome, I feel like you bring out her inner goodness and wonderfulness. Hopefully she can get ahold of Spike and it will help make her feel better. It must suck being stuck in Gile's flat essentially by yourself...[Report This]
Buffy is trying to explain to Dawn but it's not that easy to explain it seems. I wonder what the attacer eas after?
Andrew is back, it seems like turning Spike solid wasn't that easy. Why coming back like this. He must have a plan and getting Spije back in the amulett was the first step.
I don't want to spoil anything, but as one of the hooded dudes said, the oh-so-mysterious Maestro can't wait much longer - soon you'll find out what that was about. ;) Thanks for reading!
Well at least she's starting to explain some of it. They are going to need help though.
Ow, yes, help will be much needed, in more than one area. Thanks for reading and commenting! :)
Awesome! So glad to get the update, & am appreciative that you're still writing it!!! Can't wait for more!!!
Aw, come on, I couldn't just leave it on this beautiful site at 12 chapters without even getting to the shippy stuff. ;) (It's coming.)
I can't help but wonder since its a dream it there is any real contact and if Buffy is kinapped how will she be able to get to Dawn?
I feel like I should make it clear that only the first scene is a dream - what comes after is either a retrospection (the bit in front of the club) or the actual real-time plot. As I wrote in my response to fyreburned's review, sorry for being confusing! I guess I let the eerie dreamlike aspect of the story roam a little too freely for the readers' liking. :) From now on, things are gonna get much more grounded.
There was something special about the chapters first part, the dream. The way the food and other things on the table was described made it sound like it could have been slaughtered bodies. Like badness and decay was hidden underneath the surface, a mirroring from Buffy's state of mind, or overthinking from me We later learned more about Buffy's situation. The last part made me unsure about what is happening, but I suppose we will learn.
Hah, your comment about the bodies is basically spot-on, as this scene pays homage to NBC's Hannibal, the first two seasons of which I watched during the summer. Ah, the meals... the murders... The overall aesthetic just got stuck in my head, itching to be written down at one point or another. :)
Thank you so much for reviewing! Next part coming soon.
OK, a little confused...IS that happening in DAWN's "dream state", or IS this happening "INSIDE Buffy's head-space (apparently now shared by the vengeful. Spirit or ghost or essence or whatever of The Immortal)", OR IS this actually happening in 'Real-Time' for Dawn & Buffy, as in get a cab; & get the flock outta there, get to Andrew'a flat to start with, away from the creepy place; the creepy radio/or TV/or whatever, & get a start to find out what'a going on from there??? Just a mite confused...
It's real. Sorry for being ambiguous. The main source of confusion is likely the blank space between Dawn's segments. One moment she's out searching for Buffy - the next she randomly wakes up in her sister's apartment. I can see why it would make a person wonder.
Good news is that dreams and retrospections won't be this prominent in the next few chapters, so it should help clear things up a little bit. For the record, I'm not gonna ignore all the "whys" and "hows" - actually, even this chapter includes some clues about what happened. :)
Weekly updates can be a big help (at least to me when I write!).
I like the update. Buffy is in a bad, bad, place. I'm so Glad Dawn is there in Rome even if she's not able to fix everything. (counting on a black clad white haired assist on that). The Immortal will not prevail!
They really, really can, and during the summer I was trying my best to publish a chapter every 7-10 days. And while it didn't always go as planned, at the very least it kept me consistent. My main problem was probably falling out of the routine and spending writing time worrying about how long it's been since my last update. I'm so glad I've managed to snap out of it.
Thank you. Next time the boys (?) are back - let's see how it all goes.
So is the Immortal like Dracula with some special powers? Or is she using the Immortal to subconsciously get drunk because of her personal pain.
Both of these are interesting theories, especially the second one! I'm really looking forward to finishing this story and finally explaining everything that needs explaining. Better get back to writing. Thanks for the comment! <3
I liked Dawn's thoughts while she listened to Andrew and how she suddenly remembered why she was in Rome.
Now we also knows the reason behind Buffy's mysterious behavering. The qustion is how she was affected, and what could be done about it.
"How she suddenly remembered why she was in Rome" - this part of your review really made me smile. It's true that with everything happening and Andrew not exactly willing to give her any answers, she sort of focused on something else for a while. Still, finding Buffy was why she left London in the first place - would be strange if she suddenly decided to leave her to her own uncertain devices. ;)
So it's the Immortal behind Buffy's actions. Reminds me a bit of Dracula and how dusting him never really got rid of him.
Yup. There are definitely some similarities here, although the Immortal's agenda goes beyond getting Buffy under his "thrall" or whatever.
More on that later. :)
This sounds very interesting!
I like your writing style, and I'm happy I started reading--don't know your "muse", but I hope she/he won't let you down!
Welcome! I'm happy you like it so far, and I hope that the rest will keep your interest. :)
I have every intention of finishing this story (and ideas for a few more), so don't worry. If I'm to be honest, my attitude towards what I write tends to fluctuate a lot, ranging from "This is great, I got 3k words done in one day!" to "Everything I do is trash", but it's mostly okay. Thank you for your incredibly kind words. <3
or is it dyslexic santa?
I read this when I was waiting for a bus home, and it made me chuckle so hard, I'm pretty sure I looked like a crazy person or someone choking. Seriously, I love this comment. Massive thanks! :D
Good writing on Dawn's thoughts at the beginning.
Andrew was really excited, but then he got scared and silent. Silent Andrew is just wrong, so he was indeed worried. We now know thqt they have talked to Spike and we know when and where. So while listening to Fred, Andrew managed to formulate a theory on how to get Spike solid again. I still think that Spike isn't the only one they have talked to, well we will find out. Then of course the other question, how Spike has talked with them, how it was on his side of the board?
Thank you! You're absolutely right - a lot of questions remain unanswered, a situation I'm working on rigt now. No more 'flying to Rome' chapters. From now on, things are only gonna get more interesting.
'Silent Andrew is just wrong.' - I know! He's usually like a wound up hand organ, and it felt almost unsettling, writing about him like that. :D