Attack of the Wedding Artifacts (or some better title) by JustWriter +8
Responses: 0
Categories: Season 4, Alternate Reality, Episode Rewrite
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Summary:

Inspired by OffYourBird's story Wedlocked...

What if, Spike and Buffy are compelled to get married to one another via magical artifacts during (or after) the Will Be Done spell in "Something Blue"? (a bit like Warehouse 13)

Such as:

  • Magical rings that bind them inexorably
  • Celtic ribbon that binds their hands until they consummate
  • Marriage cup(s); both drink red wine & honey from goblets tied together with ribbon or sip sake 9 times or share a cup from which to drink
  • Chinese wedding arrows (Buffy shoots him 3 times and breaks each one to show the marriage will last)
  • Whale's teeth (Spike gives them to Joyce instead of Hank)
  • Something that locks them inside a home for days
  • Spike gives her a Welsh spoon with keys carved into it (giving her access to his heart) and beads for each child he wants 
  • Willow performs a creepier resurrection ritual than in canon, knocking Spike out of it with poison, dressing he and Buffy's corpse in traditional Chinese wedding clothes, and buries them together (early season 6).
  • Spike can't stop dancing until Joyce tells him to stop
  • El lazo (a lasso made of rosary beads and flowers) is draped over Buffy and Spike in a figure 8 infinity that says how long the union will last
  • Paper confetti rains down on them to ward off evil; stragely, Xander is safe from the hordes after him in the confetti circumference.
  • Buffy and Spike get trapped under a mystical chuppah until they make vows to one another.

Some Ideas derived from:

https://www.spinellikilcollin.com/blogs/news/ancient-wedding-traditions-from-around-the-world

https://www.theknot.com/content/amphtml/favorite-wedding-traditions-from-around-the-world

https://www.brides.com/gallery/wedding-traditions-around-the-world