Summary: The real life Buffy, tells her own real life story, of being the Slayer and her relationship with that ONE vampire in all the world. Working under the assumption that the TV series was based on a book based on real life, this is Buffy's story of what it was like to be the Slayer and how things really went down for her and Spike. It's her personal story that didn't even make it into the book! The sometimes sad, sometimes scary, sometimes sweet and always sexy love story that we know as Spuffy.
Thank you to the lovely and talented
teragramm for the beautiful banner!
None
Artists: None
Categories: Alternate Reality
Characters: Angel,
Buffy,
Dawn,
Giles,
Joyce,
Original Characters,
Spike,
Wesley,
Willow,
Xander
Genres: Angst,
Drama,
Dramedy,
POV,
RomanceWarnings: Adult Language,
Buffy/Other (Temp),
Character Death,
Sexual Situations,
Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes
Chapters: 31
Word count: 231,513
Hit Count: 34,652
ePub Downloads: 439
Published: May 18, 2016
Updated: September 12, 2016
Print or Download Story: 
View All Chapters
Story Notes: This story has been kicking around in my head for a few months and decided it was time to come out. The characters aren't exactly like they are in the TV series but they all have the roles you know them in. The themes if not the exact stories are intact. Turning a story into a TV series offers you both freedoms and constraints compared to real life. This is an exploration of how those freedoms and constraints altered the story and therefore the characters themselves.
This story is kind of graphic and kind of gritty, and a whole bunch like real life.
None of the recognizable characters, places and plots belong to me. They are the sole property of Joss and company and all their legal affiliates. The non recognizable characters, places and plots belong to me. This is my own day dream that I put to pixels for the reading pleasure of similarly obsessed Spuffophiles. All I seek is the satisfaction of sharing, never monetary profit.
1. Introduction...The One where Buffy Tells You What's What by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 27 Comments: 32 Word Count: 6,340 Hit Count: 4,687 Published: May 18, 2016
Buffy does talk about her early sexual experience here. Head's up for anyone who isn't comfortable with an under 18 having sex. Teens will be teens.
2. The One Where Spike Kills the Neighbor's Cat, Accidentally on Purpose by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 15 Comments: 7 Word Count: 4,823 Hit Count: 1,383 Published: May 21, 2016
Head's up. Yes, the neighbor's cat is killed. There is no graphic description but it happens.
All recognizable people, places and things belong to Joss "The Boss" Whedon and his affiliates. The stuff that makes you scratch your head and say "What huh?" belongs to me, and is my free gift to any and all Spuffy lovers. Keep your money and use it to buy BTVS related goodies.
A big thank you to Telsa the patient and mighty who made me jump with glee when she said "that one made me laugh out loud". I hope you think it's as funny as she did.
3. The One Where I Get Disqualified by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 14 Comments: 6 Word Count: 8,718 Hit Count: 1,510 Published: May 24, 2016
Thanks for the likes and reviews! It's nice to know I have company on this Spuffyriffic journey.
No warnings on this one.
Shout out to Telsa, the mildly frustrated who's only agreeing to read because I promised her she won't have to wait much longer. Hey, if Buffy can handle it...I guess we can too.
Everything that looks familiar is the sole and lucrative property of Joss and those lucky enough to be associated with him. The stuff that looks weird, is all on me.
4. The One Where Spike Does That Thing He Does by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 16 Comments: 9 Word Count: 4,174 Hit Count: 1,303 Published: May 28, 2016
If it resembles the Whendonverse, it belongs to Whedon and affiliates. If it doesn't, it belongs to the dark annals of my mind and I offer it to you for entertainment purposes only.
Shout out to Telsa, who read about 20 versions of this chapter before giving it her seal of approval, and giving me a hug.
5. Q&A supplement by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 13 Comments: 6 Word Count: 3,356 Hit Count: 1,061 Published: May 30, 2016
Buffy has received a number of questions from the readers, rather than attach them to the end of a chapter I am opting to add them as a supplement.
The next chapter will be posted in a day or two.
6. The One Where Spike Does That Other Thing He Does by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 14 Comments: 8 Word Count: 5,932 Hit Count: 1,130 Published: May 31, 2016
The morning after the night before.
A big thanks to Telsa who said, "just post it already!"
7. The One Where I Almost Die by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 12 Comments: 9 Word Count: 12,264 Hit Count: 1,192 Published: June 03, 2016
Shout out to Telsa for reading and declaring it a fair and proper tribute to the miracle known as "a best friend".
8. The One Where I Don't Wait for Spike by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 12 Comments: 8 Word Count: 7,186 Hit Count: 1,097 Published: June 07, 2016
Character death, not graphic
A huge thanks to the ever patient Telsa. I promise her and my readers that this chapter marks a critical turning point for...everything!
9. The One Where Spike Comes Back by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 14 Comments: 11 Word Count: 6,494 Hit Count: 1,119 Published: June 09, 2016
As always, a big Thank you to Telsa, who said "more of the good stuff!"
10. The One Where Spike and My Mother Play Backgammon by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 14 Comments: 6 Word Count: 8,811 Hit Count: 1,134 Published: June 12, 2016
A big thanks to Telsa, who says now she wants a vampire of her own!
11. The One Where We Have Breakfast by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 13 Comments: 7 Word Count: 7,848 Hit Count: 1,057 Published: June 15, 2016
A hug to Telsa, who had a wonderful mother too and got a little teary eyed reading about Buffy and Joyce.
12. The One Where I Attempt to Explain the Supernatural...and Dawn Asks Questions by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 12 Comments: 6 Word Count: 9,951 Hit Count: 1,045 Published: June 19, 2016
Thanks to Telsa, for reading, making gentle suggestions and informing me that there are hundreds of sites where you can play backgammon online.
13. The One Where Spike and I Go For Coffee by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 14 Comments: 8 Word Count: 7,550 Hit Count: 996 Published: June 22, 2016
Big thanks to Telsa, who said if it was HER last bowl of ice cream ever it would be mint chocolate chip! (mine would be vanilla with brownie chunks)
14. The One That Begins and Ends With Wendy by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 13 Comments: 8 Word Count: 11,192 Hit Count: 939 Published: June 26, 2016
A hug and thank you to Telsa, who can't decide who's shiftier, Spike or that latte.
15. The One Where I Die by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 16 Comments: 8 Word Count: 7,025 Hit Count: 1,005 Published: June 29, 2016
I guess the title serves as fair warning, character death ahead...
Shout out to Telsa, who says she felt like she was out of phase too!
16. The One Where I Thaw Out by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 11 Comments: 7 Word Count: 4,799 Hit Count: 906 Published: July 02, 2016
A hug to Telsa who says she never cared much for tea, but thinks maybe she should give it another try.
17. The One Where I Realize Other People Have Feelings Too by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 10 Comments: 5 Word Count: 7,443 Hit Count: 926 Published: July 05, 2016
A big thanks to Telsa, who is insightful and compassionate, even though she's not a Slayer...I don't think.
18. The One Where I Get Real With People by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 11 Comments: 6 Word Count: 6,272 Hit Count: 902 Published: July 07, 2016
Thanks to Telsa, who said it's probably time to give her own dad and sister a call, and her mom a big hug.
19. The One Where I Ask the Hard Questions by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 15 Comments: 7 Word Count: 6,248 Hit Count: 836 Published: July 10, 2016
Telsa said to warn you that you will want either a tissue or something you can punch. Yikes!
20. The One Where I Live to Tell About It by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 8 Comments: 5 Word Count: 6,087 Hit Count: 782 Published: July 16, 2016
To Telsa who calls this one "the middle eight".
21. The One Where I Get Hit On by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 11 Comments: 8 Word Count: 11,675 Hit Count: 863 Published: July 20, 2016
Thanks to Telsa, who said if Buffy was willing to do it, she's willing to read about it!
22. The One Where I Have a Sister by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 8 Comments: 6 Word Count: 8,894 Hit Count: 682 Published: July 23, 2016
A shout out to Telsa, who says she is blessed to have both a big and little sister!
23. The One Where Life Happens by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 9 Comments: 9 Word Count: 6,557 Hit Count: 676 Published: July 27, 2016
Hugs and thanks to Telsa, who says "wow, things are cooking now!"
24. The One Where I Have a Baby by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 11 Comments: 6 Word Count: 9,286 Hit Count: 779 Published: July 29, 2016
Thanks to Telsa, who says "Oh great, it's Season 6."
25. The One Where You Hate Me by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 14 Comments: 10 Word Count: 9,777 Hit Count: 1,085 Published: August 01, 2016
Hugs to Telsa, who understands the power and beauty of "we".
26. The One Where I Try to Find a Time Zone of My Own by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 10 Comments: 9 Word Count: 9,307 Hit Count: 950 Published: August 06, 2016
To Telsa, who asks, what ever happened to Coca-Cola and aspirin?
27. The One Where Even More Life Happens by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 12 Comments: 8 Word Count: 6,423 Hit Count: 812 Published: August 08, 2016
Thanks to Telsa, who said she loves this one and thinks you will too.
28. The One Where Push Comes to Shove by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 8 Comments: 5 Word Count: 6,428 Hit Count: 796 Published: August 12, 2016
Telsa is out of town, so the mistakes are mine. She read it, but didn't edit.
29. The One Where I Dither by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 12 Comments: 5 Word Count: 8,857 Hit Count: 983 Published: August 15, 2016
Welcome home Telsa, who knows a thing or two about traveling herself.
30. The One Where I Get Philosophical by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 22 Comments: 16 Word Count: 10,579 Hit Count: 1,015 Published: August 18, 2016
A huge hug and thanks to Telsa, who said "Just post it" when I would be all...I don't know how this is going to be received....I posted it and the readers were awesome! Telsa knows best.
31. Q&A by Cryptwarmer - Likes: 21 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,217 Hit Count: 984 Published: September 12, 2016
There were just a few Q&A questions people gave in their final reviews and Buffy is wrapping them up here! Thanks for reading.
