Never Stay With Spuffy by Bojangles

Summary: The Scoobies learn a very important lesson: never, ever stay at Buffy & Spike's house. This is more a multi-chapter fic of one-shots. There's nothing but silly shenanigans goin' on in here.

Winner in Round 26 of the Sunnydale Memorial Fanfiction Awards

for Best Comedy! Thanks to everyone who voted for this story!

Series: The Never-verse
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners
Characters: Ensemble
Genres: Fluffy/Comedy
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 10
Word count: 20,002 Hit Count: 19,818 ePub Downloads: 167
Published: January 09, 2012 Updated: April 03, 2012

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AN: Set in my own version of the future post-Sunnydale and Angel S5 - Spike and Buffy have been together for years now, they live in London near Willow and Dawn, Xander and Giles live up in Scotland at the Slayer School. Spike's still a vamp with a soul, Buffy's still the slayer, they're still in love and above all else, they still love to fight.

Disclaimer: Still the same rules. I own nothing, Joss owns everything, please don't sue me.

Here's chapter two of this insane little world that exists in my brain.

Disclaimer: If you don't know by now that Joss owns everything, you need some professional help.

AN: This was the toughest one so far to write. I hope that doesn't mean it's suckier :(

Disclaimer: Still the same rules.

AN: Just a little note in defence of Spuffy; for all those people reading this story thinking that Spike and Buffy are these sex-starved maniacs with no control over their urges and jealousies, I'll have you know they go round to Dawn and Willow's house every Thursday for dinner and are able to behave like normal, sophisticated adults. Willow even mentions it in this chapter. For those of you who think they should be able to behave thus in their own house, I ask you this: if you had a Spike in your house, would you rather behave like a society dame or like a cat in heat? I know what my answer is.

I'm not sure how I feel about this one. But then, I didn't think the Angel one was very good and people seemed to like it so hey, what do I know? Could just be my mood. I'm in a 'Fool For Love' mood tonight whereas normally when I write this story I'm in a 'Something Blue' mood. Hope this note doesn't put you off lol.

Also, I'm thinking there will probably only be two more chapters of this. Unless I can think of anyone else to torture in the meantime lol.

Okay, so I've changed my mind. This is my favourite chapter. And I don't think it breaks the rules. He does visit Buffy and Spike's house after all *smirk* Also, I hope no-one takes offence to what the Colonel says. If anyone's seen Full Metal Jacket, he's a little like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman - closed-minded jerk might be the nicest way of putting it lol.

This came about because a genius reviewer suggested a Riley chapter and the idea for this one popped fully formed into my head, hence the second update in a week. So please take a moment to thank Nikkilou, without whom Riley would not suffer.

Oh and now, I really can't think of any more people to torture. So yeah, probably only two more chapters to go after this one. For reals this time. Really.

I'm really sorry about the length of time between updates, life's been pretty busy. But hey, why am I apologising to you? You are but my minions! ... just kidding, I'm really sorry, please still read my story? [begging-eyes]

Well this is it. I'm sorry it took me so long to get this last chapter up but it was a bit of a headache. I really hope it's clear enough to everyone who's talking when. To help, in addition to Spuffy, the people in this story are as follows: Dawn, Giles, Willow, Xander, Andrew, Angel, Faith and various mini-slayers (of which Carrie is one).

A couple of additional notes: when you see random lines of dialogue on their own, it's the mini-slayers chatting/gossiping and generally getting things wrong; Soho is a sex district of London (among other things); and there's a surprise hook-up in this chapter, but it don't mess with no ships, not really anyway.

Finally, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed or fleetingly enjoyed this story. It really does feed the soul when people like the stuff that falls out of your brain, however silly and twisted it might be lol. I might at some point in the future return to this little world, just because I love how domestic but still Spuffy-like Spuffy are in it. Kisses to you all and I hope this doesn't let you down. P.S. Isn't Dawn the best belligerent drunk in the whole of the universe? Love little Dawnie :D