Summary: Season 4 Initiative based. Buffy is captured by the Initiative before Spike but when they are pitted against each other for 'testing' they continue their shaky truce. The duo have to put past feelings aside in order to find a way out of the Initiative and work together to bring down the operation. Buffy is finally forced to see the world in shades of gray and learns more than a few new things about the so-called 'evil' demon community in Sunnydale
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Ensemble, Spike
Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Violence
Completed: No Chapters: 14
Word count: 49,679 Hit Count: 4,035 ePub Downloads: 78
Published: January 07, 2009 Updated: August 28, 2010


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1. Chapter 1 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 10 Comments: 10 Word Count: 3,061 Hit Count: 664
At last a new story from me :) Sorry about the long wait for anything new from me, but RL has had me wishing desperately for time to spend tapping away at my keyboard. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up regularly with this one. I have quite a few chapters written already, so fingers crossed you all like it and I'll keep a regular posting schedule. Thank you to my wonderful and talented beta Mari who is always helpful and has the best ideas. She really helped make this chapter something I feel proud about posting! *snuggles*

2. Chapter 2 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 12 Comments: 11 Word Count: 4,052 Hit Count: 303

Since I got such a good response on the first chapter I decided to post the second as quickly as I could.

Thanks again to the wonderful Mari who did a great beta job for me. I'd hate to think what my stories would look like without her *snuggles*

 And thanks again to everyone who reviewed. You really made my day! Enjoy.

3. Chapter 3 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 2 Comments: 2 Word Count: 6,663 Hit Count: 292
Just a quick note cuz my internet has been going in and out all day. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, your support always makes me smile. Thank you to my beautiful beta Mari who went through this even when she wasn't feeling 100%. A big hug to you!

4. Chapter 4 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 4 Comments: 3 Word Count: 2,404 Hit Count: 314

I'd like to thank everyone for their patience with this story. It would seem the third chapter didn't post so if you haven't read that yet, make sure to do so first or you'll be lost :)

 Other than that I'd like to thank everyone for supporting the story and special thanks to my beta Mari for always having the time to look over my chapters and making me feel so much less nervous about posting them. 

5. Chapter 5 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 5 Comments: 3 Word Count: 4,058 Hit Count: 279
Sorry for the delay in updating this fic sooner. I've been battling a really nasty flu bug over the last week but happily it's finally leaving me alone. Thanks as always to Mari for being there to fix all my little mistakes and grammatical errors :) Enjoy the new update!

6. Chapter 6 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 8 Comments: 6 Word Count: 3,265 Hit Count: 245
Thank you as always to Mari for being the wonderful person she is :) Thank you to everyone for all the support I've gotten on this story, it means a lot to me and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

7. Chapter 7 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 5 Comments: 3 Word Count: 4,037 Hit Count: 234
Sorry for the delay in updates. RL has been really annoying and stressful lately, but the next little while should slow down a bit. It's a long update, so I'm hoping that makes up for it's delay ;) Thanks again to Mari for betaing and all my lovely readers and reviewers, you really make my day! *smooches*

8. Chapter 8 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 10 Comments: 10 Word Count: 3,597 Hit Count: 240

Sorry (again) for the delay in posting updates. RL has been very hectic with my parents around and desperately trying to find a job. But here's the next installment at least and I'm already working on getting the next chapter in order. That said, there may be some delays in posting these because I'm set to post for two LJ comms in the next couple of weeks.

 Thanks again to my wonderful beta Mari who makes my stories more reader friendly than I ever could. And thanks to all of you who have been reviewing, you really make my day!

9. Chapter 9 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 2 Comments: 3 Word Count: 2,608 Hit Count: 225
I'm adding this chapter later than I did at my own LJ or at Spuffy Realm as the site was down when I was adding it initially and then time got away from me. BUT that means if you haven't read this you get two new chapters :)

10. Chapter 10 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 5 Comments: 4 Word Count: 1,875 Hit Count: 236

Firstly, if you're only following the story at this site, this is the second new chapter up. So read chapter nine before this one if you've missed it. 

 Secondly I would like to apologize for the long delay in between updates. My hubby has recently left for six months with the army, so the weeks leading up to it were stressful to say the least.

The amazing Vette Hayden made a very beautiful banner for this fic! Thank you so much, hon! I am flattered beyond words :)

 And thank you as always to my wonderful beta Mari for fixing my usual mistakes


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11. Chapter 11 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 4 Comments: 3 Word Count: 3,666 Hit Count: 245
Well thanks everyone for all your lovely reviews last chapter :) It really made my day so here is the next chapter as quickly as I could get it out to you. Thanks as always to my wonderful beta Mari for fixing my mistakes *smooches* Now, enjoy, and let me know what you think!

12. Chapter 12 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 6 Comments: 4 Word Count: 4,027 Hit Count: 221
Sorry about the delay in posting this chappie. I have my father-in-law staying with me so I haven't had a lot of time for writing and I'm leaving to visit home for a few weeks tomorrow, which is exciting but there's so much left to do it's quite stressful. But anyhoo, thank you to Mari for the wonderful and quick beta job *snuggles* and thanks for all of you that reviewed the last chapter. Enjoy!

13. Chapter 13 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 10 Comments: 10 Word Count: 3,031 Hit Count: 217

So it's been a very very long time since I updated this story. Over a year at last check. I'm very sorry it's been as long as it has and I have been unbelievably flattered by the response by many readers who took the time to write personal emails to me asking about the story. I've had a very tough year, a death in the family, a couple of terminal illnesses, and I've moved twice in the space of six months. The whole mess didn't leave a lot of time for writing unfortunately.

 

But now, hopefully, I'll be back writing more often and updating as soon as I get another chapter finished. I want to thank my lovely betas Mari and Lauriel who have both been incredibly supportive and given me that extra nudge to publish the chapter even though I'm a bundle of nerves over it. So without further ado, I hope you enjoy the first part of Chapter 13, the second will be up in a couple of days!

14. Chapter 14 by my_perfect_muse - Likes: 9 Comments: 7 Word Count: 3,335 Hit Count: 320
Firstly I just want to say thank you to all of you who reviewed. I was amazed at the response the story got after such a long hiatus. So thank you again from the bottom of my heart. It certainly has inspired me to work harder. Thank you again to my wonderful betas who had a check through the chapter, agreed with the decision to split it in two, and encouraged me to continue. Big virtual cuddles go out to Mari and Lauriel :) Lastly, I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the 'Hush' re-write, it was the hardest episode I've ever re-written for sure so I hope it meets with your approval.