Reviews For Ipseity
Please login or register to review.
infinitecrisis Reviewed Spike on April 01, 2017 12:43am

 Poor Spike.. not sure about this ending.. Poor Spike. I am hoping he found happiness somewhere and he deserves it. They ignored him since he got no used for them anymore since the ice queen is back. Wow, I couldn't believe I actually read through several chapters in a row. I will read your Gem story later.. Thanks.

Author's Response on April 02, 2017 11:19pm

The story isn't over yet...  

[Report This]
thenewbuzwuzz Reviewed Spike on December 07, 2015 06:03pm Liked

Nice timing. :D

Author's Response on December 10, 2015 04:00am

Timing is key!  :)  Thank you!

[Report This]
Susan Reviewed Spike on October 13, 2015 07:32pm

Roland creeps me out. I picture him sitting on a throne petting a cat. Is that wrong?

Poor Spike and his abandonment/jealousy issues. Granted, he has a right to feel slighted since Buffy is off catching up with everyone else while ignoring Spike, but really, doesn't he know this is a Spuffy site and he'll get his happy ending before too long ;). 

Author's Response on October 13, 2015 05:17pm

Ahaha.  A fluffy white persian? 

Right?  Spike needs to take a chill pill and quit being so melodramatic.  He should know better (and not just because it's a Spuffy site).  Buffy isn't that cruel, at least never intentionally.  Or at least not when she's not getting over being dead.  :p


Susan Replied on October 13, 2015 05:30pm

If anyone should be able to roll with coming back from the dead, it's Buffy. Really, it should be old hat by now. 

Also, I was thinking more along the lines of a hairless cat, but I can accept the white Persian (btw, when I first read this in my email, I misread your comment as "a fluffy white person." And I was so confused. 

Author's Response on October 13, 2015 05:37pm

You know, I sort of suspect a fluffly white person might be more up Roland's alley...

[Report This]
annamatte Reviewed Spike on October 08, 2015 09:36am Liked

This chapter was heartbreaking! I hope that Buffy has a valide excuse..

Author's Response on October 08, 2015 03:54pm

Well, we haven't seen things from her POV yet.  Spike's POV isn't necessarily accurate.  :)


[Report This]
Blue Eyes2 Reviewed Spike on August 16, 2015 02:22am Liked

I don't bleme him for being hurt what the heck took her so long and why was his feelings put so low on the list. Part of me would be too little too late but this is Spike. So Buffy is really lucky there in more ways than one.

Author's Response on August 16, 2015 02:48pm

Oh, well, Spike also knows how to work a phone.  He's worked himself into a good snit, that's for sure.  :p  Thanks!

[Report This]
RedSatinDoll Reviewed Spike on August 13, 2015 07:01am

I'm actually surprised that Spike and Angel were so quick to turn around and stop chasing Buffy based on the Scoobies say-so (and largely conjecture, they admit not talking to her so they are guessing.) Why would that suddenly stop the vampires who were hellbent on making sure she was safe and something else hadn't gone wrong. (And they were trying to make sure the other didn't get their paws on her, let's face it.)  Author's convenience?


I love that you mention Yasamin again. Heck I love that you give her a name. It's interesting though, at least to me, how sex and love are still so inseparably intertwined in Spike's thinking. And Roland is awesome - and here again, is a character who inhabits some of the space that Spike normally takes up in a shippy fic; "a roomful of characters in search of identity" might be the subtitle of this story.

 The old him would've given the night of her life.

And then ended it. Messily, painfully. Brutally.

THANK YOU for not shying away from the truth of his old self or trying to whitewash it.  You sum it up very succinctly, I don't need details to get my imagination spinning.

 "The necessity of control is a pleasure unto itself. Have you had the good fortune to experience this?"

This is incredibly creepy and a reminder of Spike's warning about "tame vampires", no matter how charming Roland is. I do love his blase reaction to spike having killed his minions. (God knows he's probalby got ready recruits lined up around the block.)


Author's Response on August 13, 2015 05:48am

Hah, on my final edit, I did realize that Spike was a little accepting...  But my betas didn't say anything, so I figured it was a minor worry.  Um.  Maybe his rush to save her was more about beating Angel to the save?  Or his brain finally kicked in after a little time and distance and blowing off of steam?  Hand-wave it however you want.  Oh look!  A pony!  (And what you said about jealousy... to be fair, Spike does have a decent reason to be jealous of Angel here.  Less so in the comics - even I'm starting to get annoyed and I suspect they're going to use it as the reason to break them up - but here, Buffy (and Dru) still always have chosen Angel.)

Spike's no saint.  You know it.  I know it.  He knows it.

Roland makes a good foil for Spike, doesn't he?  I do love how chill he is.

"A roomful of characters in search of identity."  You get a gold star.  :)   .     

RedSatinDoll Replied on August 13, 2015 09:01am

You know it.  I know it.  He knows it.

And Buffy knows it so that's four of us. (Five with Angel.) Although comics Buffy was starting to act like a pod person but then, that's what we do when we're in love with someone, we all act like pod people.  

even I'm starting to get annoyed

Oh good not just me.  Keep in mind that in my head, S10 happens right after S7 so there's things that probably make more sense in light of S8-9 that I am in no way wanting to read. *lol* Speaking of, did you notice in the issue where Buffy goes into Spike's head, and later in the warehouse, we see him killing the other Slayers and doing things he's ashamed of but not the AR - but they show a panel with the spacefrak in another issue? One is acknowledged openly as a violation by the writers, the other isn't (gross as the event was.) I'm starting to understand the annoyance towards Angel from some segments of fandom.

I like the panels where Mini!Giles (or whatever they call him) is trying to counsel Spike to be mature and he calls Angel and says "Hello, wanker." It makes for some good comedy. I'm not even sure if they're going to use it to break the two of them up because every issue so far has contained some reason that other fans have predicted "this will break them up!" and it hasn't.  But the buffyverse is not kind to relationships either, we know that.

At some point it would be nice if the current crop of writers stopped asking "what would joss do?" and let the story and characters dictate what will happen and let it flow organically.  (I am also a bit tired of Buffy being important to the story only in terms of her manpires and her sexuality but that ain't changing soon - or ever. At least they have her interacting with her friends again. Speaking of, did you see the panels in issue 1 where Dawn confesses she's reexperiencing the trauma of Joyce's death all over again and Buffy comforts her.)

I do love how chill he is.


Me too - he's like the cooler version of Dracula (only btvs could make Drac seem kind of dopey.) I also suspect he's way cooler in your prose than he would be if we saw him in his ruffles and hairgel and whatnot.

You get a gold star.  :)   .    

*SQUEES*  I got a gold star! Thank you! I haven't gotten one of those since grade school! Can I have a pony, too?  I figured I've earned a pony.  *lol* Oh, hang on, there's the pony.....


[Report This]
nojiri23 Reviewed Spike on August 12, 2015 05:22pm Liked

Popcorn Well? Don't make us wait!!!??!!!!! Tongue Out


Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:30pm

Only for a little bit.  :)  Thanks!

[Report This]
magnus374 Reviewed Spike on August 12, 2015 08:53am

I liked the part with Spike and Angel in the car.

So after Buffy had been at Sunnydale she visited everyone, but Spike. Spike do tend to always think the worst about what's happening. Buffy clearly needed a lot of time to deal with what she feel for Spike. She could at least have left a message though. Buffy can be blind but she should know how Spike would think and after everythinh he wouldn't push. It seems like it's time for their talk, almost to late.

Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:29pm

Aw, me too.  I looked extra hard for some punk band that wasn't the Ramones or The Sex Pistols (the only ones I know :p).  And Spangel is always fun.

You nailed it.  


[Report This]
knightowl Reviewed Spike on August 12, 2015 03:55am Liked


Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:27pm

Woo!  Thanks!

[Report This]
bewildered Reviewed Spike on August 12, 2015 03:32am Liked

Aww, poor Spike! Guess Buffy's just saving the best for last. Good job keeping us in suspense about what we are most excited about (the Spuffy resolution) while getting the easy answers (Buffy's actual physical health and functionality) out of the way. Looking forward to the conclusion!

Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:27pm

Of course she is.  ;)  Did I structure it that way on purpose?  I don't remember now.  But I'll just nod sagely like that was my plan all along.  Thanks!

[Report This]
SeaPea Reviewed Spike on August 12, 2015 03:00am

This has been a great ride.  I'll be sorry to see it end.  Nice cliffhanger, you evil person!

Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:24pm

I've got to get at least one or two in in this story.  :)  With the way I structured it, it was a lot harder to do cliffhanger endings.  Thank you!

[Report This]
sassafrass Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 08:32pm

Surprised What's gonna happen? What's gonna happen? What's gonna happen?????

Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:23pm

I don't know!  I guess we'll find out.  ;)  Thanks!

[Report This]
All4Spike Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 08:16pm Liked

Tsk, doesn't Spike realise that a girl always leaves the best to last? Brick Wall

Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:22pm

Amen.  :)  Thanks!

[Report This]
the_moonmoth Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 08:14pm Liked

Didn't help that Angel was the bloody hero of the piece, either, coming up with the save almost single-handedly. Just what the girls always fell for.

Can't help but smile at this, because I like how you structured it to be this way (Spike taking taking the supportive, by-her-side role, even if it means later doubting his own importance, and Angel swooping in with the solution, even if it meant leaving Buffy to her own devices) but it's clearly not going to happen like spike fears :)

 It would be his sake, not Dawn's.

Ugh, Spike, your soft heart kills me.

He stood in the middle of the room, surveying the ransacked drawers and wondering whether he was leaving anything important behind. Anything other than his dignity and his foolish heart.


On the other side stood Buffy


Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:22pm

I didn't on purpose plan for it to be somebody other than Spike to save the day, but it's pretty true to the 'verse.  Spike got his one glorious moment, but he's not usually the white knight.  And he needs to remember that Buffy's not much for damseling.  Angel's heroics won't impress her quite as much as he thinks.  :)  

I did spend a fair bit agonizing over how it's not Buffy who saves herself, because *hero*, and I'm wary of having the man ride in to save her (whether Spike OR Angel).  But I think she's already saved herself, in a sense.  I hope.  Maybe I'm the only one who cares.  Well, only me and RSD.  :)

Spike should have more faith in Buffy and his worth.  :)



[Report This]
Mel_Violet Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 07:57pm Liked

Oh! What a place to leave it! Need more now! This has been a fantastic story. 

Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:15pm

Soon-ish.  :)  Thank you so much!

[Report This]
Amayuscula Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 07:56pm Liked


Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:14pm

Yay!  Thanks! :)

[Report This]
pfeifferpack Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 07:41pm Liked

Poor Spike.  Yeah, she had issues and so on but he deserved better than being ignored.  He has a right to feel hurt and angry even before we hear her side of things.  I hope she bends over backwards to make up for the hurt.

I'm so going to hate seeing the end of this story!  I've loved every chapter.  The plot has been wonderful, the character voices true and I love how you chose to tell the tale with the mix of perspectives.

As much as I am hating saying "goodbye" to the story, I can't wait for the next chapter.  My money is on it being a Buffy chapter.

Like the Marquise popping in once again.  He's a delightful OC and you've made him likeable and textured.  I can see him slipping (as Spike says...the demon gets too in control and a slip up is likely).  He is similar to no soul Spike in a few ways including that flirting with danger part.  

Like the idea of Spike giving a girl who once would have been his prey an ego boost instead...a sort of atonement.  I like that.

Excellent all round.


Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:14pm

Easy would be boring, right? ;)

Roland seriously refuses to go away.  But he is an interesting character; I'm glad others seem to like him.


Thank you so much!  And thank you for reviewing along the way.  I've looked forward to your reviews and will miss them.  :)

[Report This]
tbd Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 07:28pm Liked

Cannot wait for the last chapter! So good poor Spike!

Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:11pm

Soon-ish! :)  Thank you!

[Report This]
RedSatinDoll Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 07:19pm

I'm very surprised that you bypassed the return to Sunnydale, and I'm also surprised that after everything Buffy didn't even bother to drop Spike an email or a phone call. (OMG. now I'm gonna sound like a Buffy-hater. Are you trying to make me dislike my beloved girl?)

Next chapter please I NEED ANSWERS!

Author's Response on August 11, 2015 06:05pm

Don't forget my habit of repeating the timeline from a different POV.  Spike wouldn't know anything about Buffy's trip to SunnyD.  :)

Heh.  Heh.  Soon... ish. 

RedSatinDoll Replied on August 11, 2015 09:45pm

I know, I know....

And it does occur to me that Spike's fingers aren't broken and there's nothing preventing him from picking up the phone, either but...those two crazy kids, always getting in their own way. If they got things right (the way everyone and their uncle seems to want them to) would we truly love them, identify with them? the interest would disappear if they were a couple of LIttle house on the prairie or hallmark card characters.  

I cannot count the number of multichapter fanfics that had me thinking "Oh please, can we hurry this along? Get back to the actual story?" and giving up out of boredom or frustration. This one reminds me a litle of Moulin Rouge (one of my favorite movies back in the day) in that, unbelievably, I want the author (you) to slow down a little - "hey, wait, stop, what's going over here?" etc etc I suspect you're sticking to the leave them wanting more approach with this but I still can't believe there's but one chapter to go; it feels like on one level the story is just gearing up, even though I know we're almost done. (I want to see all of Buffy's reunions play out, although it might work out better in my head than on paper. Hey, I can fanfic your story in my head, right? Like when Dawm and Buffy go to visit Wlllow and Browyn and Browyn is going to show them her "office/studio" space and Willow and Dawn find a very compelling reason to suddenly high-tail it to the, never mind.)

BTW - this chapter reminds me of why Spike/William sometimes reminds me of Christian in moulin rouge - the shy virginal poet (who takes the wild side of life amazingly quickly) and has HUGE jealousy issues. That's one of Spike's least attractive qualities and something I disliked in Christian as well. Jealousy is kind of a foreign concept to me anyway, so that's hard for me to access except that I've been on the receving end of it....not fun.

So I can handle the fact that Spike in his soulless life has committed torture, murder, rape, etc but jealousy is a no-go for me? I am deeply weird.


Author's Response on August 12, 2015 06:45pm

Easy is boring, right?  But there has to be this fine line between creating tension due to lack of communication and how silly it is when characters don't communicate.  Lucky for me, lack of communication is canon.  :)

Part of not slowing down is indeed because I'm trying to keep up a pace.  With so many characters, it would be easy to get bogged down - or have the story go on forever and ever and ever.  And I personally prefer it when not every little thing is explored.  I did manage to expand on the Scooby parts of the final chapter, but maybe not as much as some readers would prefer (most everybody else will be happy with the focus...).  And yes, this way you can fanfic my fanfic.  :D  I probably could've taken the story out for several more chapters, but one of the things I've been trying to work on ever since my epic excess of a story is knowing when and why to end a story.  Knowing when we've hit conflict-climax-resolution.  And I think the ending will tie in with the main theme I was going for.  Hopefully.

We all have our own hot buttons, and they're usually whatever behavior we've had to deal with in real life.  :)  For me, it's when he gets controlling/manipulative and tries to cut her off from her friends.  Giant NOPE for me.

RedSatinDoll Replied on August 13, 2015 12:48am

Is now the time to mention that I wondered the other day what happened to the Scythe? In my headcanon the pieces of it are at the new Slayer headquarters and it either is in a vault, safe from someone bent on destroying it, or it's in a display case in the lobby like some museum piece and Buffy One Point Oh is a little weirded out by this - the way I get weirded out by seeing a lunchbox I carried in school being sold at an "antique shop", but a more intense version. Like, that thing was so important and she has intense memories around it, and it unlocked the domination of the Shadowmen/Watchers, but now it's just a lifeless artifact. 

Part of not slowing down is indeed because I'm trying to keep up a pace.

And you've definitely succeeded!  I'm still here begging "more, please" so whatever you're doing it's working and that's the measure of success in a story isn't it? (Aside from awards and feedback etc.) You're doing what you've set out to do.

knowing when and why to end a story.

I think that is absolutely one of the HARDEST things for a writer - fiction, nonfiction, poetry, it doesn't matter. How to nail that landing and make it stick. I've filled notebooks and notebooks with countless words and attempts at stories and essays that I could never properly finish - they just petered out, I got bored, etc. You should be pleased with your accomplishments, I certain admire your work!

We all have our own hot buttons, and they're usually whatever behavior we've had to deal with in real life.  :)

I think this is very very true. And this brings me back to the points we were talking about before and how you mentioned that some people think of Xander as just a "Jealous hanger on."  He's not my favorite character but neither is Spike,  or Angel. They all do "gross shit" as someone said on my journal one time. And they all do magnificent, heroic things. The Xander who lies to Buffy and slut-shames her is the same guy who has her back on multiple occasions and takes Spike into his apartment in S7 (at great risk to himself because no one knows what's going on with him, really) just because Buffy asked him to. Spike who has Buffy's back on multiple occasions is the same guy who pressures her and tries to control her inappropriately when she's at her lowest point. etc etc etc

I'm amused when I see people who love Spike and hate Xander (or love Angel and hate Spike, etc etc) for doing basically the same things. With one character it's forgiveable and another it's not for very personal reasons I suspect, that have little or nothing to do with logic. And I find that interesting because for me an ongoing theme of the series is how often the characters fail to connect with one another because of perceived differences when they are really more like on another than they want to believe. (Buffy and Faith is another good example of this pattern in canon, and their fans tend to follow suit.)

Your response to someone else gave me a giggle btw:

I did spend a fair bit agonizing over how it's not Buffy who saves herself, because *hero*, and I'm wary of having the man ride in to save her (whether Spike OR Angel).  But I think she's already saved herself, in a sense.  I hope.  Maybe I'm the only one who cares.  Well, only me and RSD.  :)

I like to think that more people do care than perhaps we might realize? I'm also aware that EF represents only a tiny fraction of buffyverse or even spuffy fandom. I might be speaking optimistically.

It kind of didn't occur to me that she was "the damsel" while I was reading because - she really isn't. She's not helpless, powerless, passive, tied up or shackled down, or shunted off to the side; nor is she suddenly and mysteriously incapable of fighting, walking, thinking, functioning, not to mention boiling water or performing basic tasks (as in so many fics that truly turn her into The Damsel(TM)- the kind that leave me wanting to scratch my eyes out.) 

And I didn't see Angel as the hero of the piece, but rather part of the team of people who love Buffy and are trying to help. Willow, Spike, Giles, everyone did their part. Even Roland, getting her the airplane ticket to the US - there's something heroic in that because it's not about self-interest; he doesn't get anything out of that. (Which is why Spike's - or Angel's, Xander's or anyone's - jealousy towards others starts to look a little ugly when I step back from it. He's not the only one who gets to care for and about Buffy. But as i've mentioned jealousy is one of my hot button issues.)  

She's still a hero in this story - she fights the monks, she is willing to give her life - again - for Dawn if need be. She's still a warrior and a champion here, no doubt about it. And nobody, including Angel, can "save" her from the pain when her memories return, she has to go through that on her own. I think that's the bigger point - she's not passive about removing the tattoos, it's her decision to do so. The point of a damsel is not only that they need to be saved but that they have little or no agency, and that represnt a prize to be won or earned by "the Hero". Buffy in canon and in your fic is none of those things.

And in canon, she actually didn't save the world in S6 and in most seasons she had the help of her friends, and that's so essential to who she is. The loneliest finale for her is S2, and that's the one that nearly breaks her. 

Spike should have more faith in Buffy and his worth.  :)

Lots of "yeppity yeppity yep" to the last sentence. Did he notice that she went to LA, visited Angel and then came back to Dawn? That Angel went back to LA to Connor? Either one of them could move to be with the other and that's not happened so clearly, they've made that clear enough that they're not getting back together, even if they don't make a big announcement. (Why should they, to please other people?)  

(in the S10 comics it's actually getting a little annoying, him degrading himself and moreover Buffy's feelings for him, which are clearly complicated, but they are definitely a couple in every sense of the word and she lays down her weapon and risks him killing her - again - because she believes in his worth, that he's a good man. So the "I don't know if Buffy loves me in this specific way" as if her feelings were an ingredient in a cookie dough recipe (heh) to be measured and doled out is actually getting a bit trying. It doesn't help that it's drawings in a comic book and not the actors bringing all the nuances to life *le sigh*  And that it's entirely believable for his self-worth to be based less on what she shows him every day and more about what he has in his own head.

He's just sort of coming close to turning into - well, Riley. I hope it doesn't come to that. (It's just the comics, it's just the comics....)

You've reminded me of something Sarah-Michelle Gellar said, that she sees Angel as Buffy's "true love" (whatever the hell that means) but what's forgotten is the rest of her statement: "it doesn't mean they'll end up together." Two people can love each other very very much and not end up together. I think Buffy (the character herself) demostrates that love isn't one static thing and it's possible to love different people in different ways.


Author's Response on August 13, 2015 05:53am

I... uh... forgot about the Scythe.  Forgot it was broken!  I like your idea of on display.

Oh good, team effort on the save-age was what I was going for.  Even Lindsey played his part.  

[Report This]
RedSatinDoll Reviewed Spike on August 11, 2015 07:15pm


Author's Response on August 11, 2015 06:03pm


[Report This]
Please login or register to review.