Interesting start. Curious to find our what happened to Buffy. I also liked the drama in this chapter, and enjoyed all the character's interactions. Well, gonna head to the next chapter to find out more..
Thank you! :D
I'm finally starting! It will be interesting to see the story play out in all the different POVs. We're off to a good start with Dawn. I'm not a Dawn hater, but at the end of the day, she's still a stubborn teenage girl who won't take no for an answer, and you've got that down. I wonder how you managed to channel a surly teenager ;)
Woo! And hoo!
Write what you know. Write what you know... :)
Poor Dawn... Buffy is the whole family that remained for Dawn, after the death of Joyce, as the father has abandoned them. And this time there isn't even Spike to take care of her.
Yep, losing Buffy is hardest on Dawn. And this is the second (third, if we count after Acathla) time she's lost Buffy.
ladypeyton read my review? *boggles* Wow I'm flattered, thank you! I wouldn't want to read my own reviews!
(I never intend to be that long you know.)
ETA: rereading the last section of the chapter, I'm suddenly remembering the cafeteria scene in "Earshot" where Buffy faints from sensory overload. (Which is a bit similar to having a seizure, so I definitely identify there!)
One of the fun things about this story in any given chapter is that I could make lists of all the tv series callbacks and still miss some references you've made. :D I love that sort of thing when it's so well-intergrated into an original story as you've done here.
Tsk, you're Reviewer of the Month for a reason! I like reading other people's long, thinky reviews. And then I can feel better that somebody else has said it, and I can just nod and say 'ditto', because I'm terrible at reviews.
I want to be able to sit down and write a long drawn out review analysing individaul lines of the chapter in a detailed and thoughtful way (although RedSatinDoll has done an extremely good job of discussing the thoughts I had while reading it) but I'm too busy freaking out that there's only one chapter left! First Jon Stewart and now Ipseity! I can't handle this! *sob!*
She does the best reviews, doesn't she (all hail Reviewer of the Month! :D). Just knowing you're here is cool. I'm terrible at reviews.
There's actually... 3 chapters left. I added an extra chapter in somewhere along the way, so we have 28 total. I can't help you with Jon Stewart though. :)
Whoo hoo! 3 more chapters! This is like the year that I discovered that I was turning 43 and not 44 because I'd forgotten I'd rounded up somewhere!
LOL! I'm honored to inspire that level of excitement for you. ;)
Your writing is very well done and as a story it is enjoyable. That said, it has no feeling of "spuffy." It feels like a "Liffy" (Lindsey-Buffy). She has been no chemistry period between Buffy and Spike. He seems to have zero redeeming qualities and she has zero feelings toward him. I get that she has amnesia, but it feels that if she truly has no connection with anyone (at any level) then she is a new person, and this new person wants to only be with Lindsey (even if its only platonically.) Again… I’m not knocking you writing. You have well written scenes with interesting characters. Just not Spuffy.
Considering the story is only halfway through, I'm pretty sure there is no way you can definitively label it Not Spuffy. Many, many of the stories on this site are not all-Spuffy all the time, and there are a fair number with little or no Buffy/Spike interaction AT ALL, and yet they are considered Spuffy. Besides which, I did warn that it was mostly a gen fic in my very first author note. Expecting a gen story to focus on a relationship between Buffy and Spike from the get-go is setting yourself up for disappointment.
I'm not sure what you mean by Spike having zero redeeming qualities. He's a souled vampire fighting the good fight. Or perhaps it's a typo and you meant 'she'. In which case, I am still not sure what you mean. Buffy has undergone a huge amount of trauma. Expecting her to connect with anybody, least of all a vampire who spent over a century slaughtering people, is hugely unfair to her, not to mention unrealistic. If you had zero memory of any of the people in your life, can you honestly say you'd just slot right back into your old life? I doubt most people could.
One of the questions being explored is whether she truly is a new person without her memories. Not everybody seems to think so.
Thanks for letting me know the characters are interesting. The Buffyverse is filled with fascinating characters.
What I meant was that was that Spike seems to have The least redeaming qualities. he just appears to be a sad little dog chasing a "treat". It also appears that while Buffy has no memory of anyone else, she has some subconscious feelings about everyone else. I mean by this she feels bad that she is disappointing them by not being her old self. She has nothing in the way with Spike. My feelings then are that this new Buffy and puppy dog Spike have no connection. Period. It is just my opinion that if they are "meant to be" they should have some 'sparkage'. Basically spike could be replaced with 'Andrew' and he would have the same draw.
That said, I mean no offense to your writing. Your characters are well written and your story is going in an interesting direction. i just think that tight now it is more of a Buffy discovers herself and maybe a Buffy-Lindsey story.
Love it, but then, you know that.
it so easily could have happened like this.....
Aw. thank you! And thanks for the beta work especially!
As always, small-ish things get changed as I post (and in this case an entire extra chapter has been added) if you're up for a reread.
BTW your Angel chapter reminded me of one of the things Angel and Buffy have in common - having to be strong for everyone else, the burdens of being "the leaders" that leaves no room for falling apart (and when they do, everything goes to shit.)
Yes, very much so. Also known as being the title character. It's all about them. :p
Wow, what a start. I've always wondered what it would've been like if Buffy didn't make it out, or at least make it to the scoobies. I wonder where she is. I hope Buffy is okay. And oh god, Dawn.
Poor Dawn, indeed. Thanks! :)
Ahhh! At first I though she'd slipped into another dimension where Spike was a Watcher, but Blue Eyes is Lindsey. Love this story so much.
It seems to be the consensus. I guess we'll find out. ;) Thanks!
Dawn is written well here, the way she thought about what she saw and how she acted. It will be interesting to find out how this story will play out.
I'm glad Dawn came through loud and clear. Thanks!
This is so, so good - and yes, I've re-read this, more than once. Very enjoyable! I don't think I've seen this exact scenaroio before. I don't know that you've written Dawn before or not but your characterization of her, Faith, Xander, are all spot on. (And how much love do I have for the focus on Dawn's love for her sister? SO SO MUCH.)
a faint ‘oof’
I can just hear Buffy making that noise as she lands on the bus.
Her mind replayed what she’d seen in a sickening slow-motion loop – Buffy flying backwards, downwards, pinwheeling into the abyss like a broken doll, red blade clattering after her. The bus plowed forward, taking Dawn farther from her sister. “Stop! Stop it, stop the bus NOW!”
This is just a fantastic passage - I feel a little sick to my stomach and anxious reading it. It's so spare and simple, not a single word wasted.
It’ll kill her. If she’s still alive.
Take your pick, Xander’s unfinished sentence seemed to say.
Anothe great passage that reveals so much about the characters.
I loved the part where Dawn is suspicious and snarky about Faith's sudden "loyalty"; it makes sense though. What occurred between Faith and Buffy (the front porch at the end of Empty Places, the conversation in Joyce's bedroom and the exchange in the Hellmouth) were as private between the two Slayers as so many of Buffy and Spike's moments were between the two of them. Dawn wasn't privy to the whole thing.
That's one of the interesting things about Buffy to me - everyone has a definite opinion and idea about who she is / what she should be but no one person knows her in her totality. Even Spike to some degree - and isn't that true of every one of us?
“Knock it off, kid,” Faith said, her voice thick and congested.
Your Faith has a lot going on under the surface that you just hint at in little passages like this. But she's actually like Buffy in that she's going to keep it close to the vest. I love the "killer diller details like "she hawked and spat". It sounds weird to say that but it's just another offhand detail that keeps the story vibrant.
But you’re not here, so too bad. You’re top priority.
PERFECT Dawn voice. Oh those stubborn, bossy, glorious Summers women....
Interesting the way you use clothes here as "placeholders" for Buffy - an earring, a piece of a jacket - to emphasize her presence (personality) and her absence all at once. There's something especially unsettling about the piece of the jacket, and I'm not sure why (maybe the mention of rebar alongside? Maybe that's giving me Cordy-impaled-on-the-rebar flashbacks.)
Don’t take her away from me again.
Wonderful reminder of what Dawn has already endured - a WORLD of pain and grief, and this would only reignite old traumas. I don't want to say this is worse than seeing her sister lying dead (there's still hope as long as they haven't found her, is the irony) but I imagine this is a very different sort of torture, the not-knowing.
“Buffy is the strongest Slayer – strongest person – I have ever met. If anybody could have survived…”
I'm reminded here of the things the paramedics and the doctor said to Buffy about Joyce's death in order to be comforting in the Body. But here with Giles it's different too - nice of him but, they've all seen Buffy die. She's already died three times (including in Villains) so - strong, but not inhuman.
I wonder how much of that statement is to comfort himself rather than Dawn.
I love your reviews. And this is why you were the person in my head as I wrote this story.
One of the fun things about playing with multiple character POVs is that everybody sees the world - and the people in it - differently. Here's hoping I remembered that as I wrote (I've let this sit for so many weeks now, I can't remember if I did...).
Thanks for 'forwarding' your comments! :D
Interesting start. Different spin on Buffy making it out. Looking forward to more.
I feel like an ogre, keeping Buffy from her happy finale moment, but... means to an end and all that. :) Thanks!
Great start. This looks like it's going to be a great story. Love Dawn's voice and your Faith is perfect.
Learning to write from multiple character POVs (usually I stick to Buffy and/or Spike) was one of my goals for this story, so it's nice to hear I started out on track! Thanks!